Pub Rants

I’m in the happy position of having sold all my recently submitted projects. Love when that happens. It also means I’ve got nothing in the pipeline to send out.

I’m doing a lot of reading in the next couple of weeks to see if anything wonderful comes my way. I’ve also recently hired an outside reader that I trust to help with the requested pages inbox. Angie was at the Publishing Institute with me back in 2002. We have similar tastes and the same good eye. She’s not interested in being an agent but she loves reading the sample pages and she’s never wrong. She always forwards exactly what I want to read and makes the right judgment on passes. She’s worth her weight in gold!

We devoted all of last Monday to reading the inbox. I imagine we went through at least 50 or 60 submissions and didn’t request a single full manuscript. Sometimes it happens that way. Other times, I see two or maybe even three things I want to read more of.

But we both felt the same way about some of the stuff we did see last week, and I thought I would share.

I wrote an article that touched on some of these points for Backspace: The Writer’s Place. Feel free to read the full article if this catches your interest.

What gets a request for a full manuscript?

1. Great writing, great voice, with a great original story line.
2. As I’m reading the partial, I’m excited and can already think of four or five editors who would love what I’m reading.

(Hint: How can you as a writer get the same feel for the market? Read the deals posted on Deal Lunch at Publishers Marketplace. You do that for several months and I promise you, you’ll have a good sense of the general market and what is selling.)

What’s going to get a pass?

1. Fresh storyline but the writing isn’t strong enough.

This is so heartbreaking. Often I’ll see partials where I’ll think, “this is a terrific concept,” but then the writing just isn’t strong enough to carry the story. Time is too scarce to work with an author to see if he or she can get it there. There are too many other possibilities out in the world.

2. Sharp writing with a tired storyline.

This is heartbreaking too. I can tell the author is talented but the story has been done (and done, and done again…) I just passed on representing an author for a YA work because it had a reality TV storyline. I loved the characters, her voice, and thought the story was very fun. I just think that plot device has been done one too many times, so even though she has great talent, I passed.

3. Average writing with an average storyline.

This is true of a lot of Chick Lit sample pages I’ve read recently. The writing isn’t bad—it’s just not blow-me-away great. The storyline won’t excite editors who will only buy in this field if the novel is unlike anything that has hit shelves before now.

4. A beautifully written but boring work.

I hate when this happens. The author is clearly talented but has a story that I just wouldn’t buy if I were in the bookstore. Clearly, I’m not the right agent for this novel. Even if you are writing literary fiction, I do think there needs to be some kind of commercial hook to propel the story. Even GILEAD (a novel I blogged about so you know I love), had the hook of an elderly father writing a letter to his seven year old son so that his son wouldn’t remember him solely as that doddering old man. That’s a great hook—and her writing was so gorgeous…).

5. Poorly written material regardless of story.

Here’s another secret I shouldn’t be revealing. Sometimes these partials are highly entertaining. Angie and I were in tears over a science fiction partial (that was not requested by the way) that was so “good” we read aloud passages to each other. I’m a nice person but this partial was almost like a parody of writing. Even nice people get snarky when pushed!

6. Stories that clearly don’t fit in the market.

I’ll get a cover letter that will say something like this: “my story is a blend of science fiction and romantic comedy with elements of suspense. It can be called Chick Lit.” Huh? It is only the extraordinary writer who can outrageously defy genre boundaries and become a phenomenal success. It just doesn’t happen often. You need to know where your novel fits in the market.

7. Partials with demanding or unprofessional cover letters.

I pass just on principle. If an author seems difficult in tone, and trust me, this is apparent in cover letters we have received, I’ll pass because I just don’t want to deal with that personality. Life is too short to deal with negative and demanding people. Assertive and pro-active authors, now that is a different story.

And before I sign off, Angie has a request. Please, no using the word “resplendent” in your opening chapters. It’s an automatic NO based on principle alone and since she’s reading in front of me, you might want to take that to heart.

As you guys know, I have A LOT of email queries in my inbox. How can I not rant about this?

So, some things that I’m noticing that turn me off. Maybe another agent would dig it but I doubt it.

1. Starting your query with a complaint. I don’t know about you but that certainly gets me in a jovial mood. I love complaints (and yes, I’m being nicely sarcastic here).

Why in the world would you start any letter by complaining—but especially a query letter? The complaints usually revolve around how hard this business is (if it were easy, everyone would do it). Or writers complain about their bad self-publishing experience.

Not a way to win an agent.

I don’t mind queries for self-published or POD books. I’m an optimist. You never know what might show up (although the odds are against you). Go check out POD-DY Mouth. She listed some great statistics (very revealing). In order to find 50 books worth reading, she read over 1300 last year. You can see why agents aren’t super excited about adding those to our slush pile.

2. Starting your query letter with the odd sentences. I think this one is my favorite: “I recently finished reading my first novel. Having read one, I decided to write one.”

Go get ‘em tiger. This is not a ringing endorsement for you.

3. Having another person (like someone you have hired, your secretary, or business manager) write your query letter on your behalf.

Maybe I’m being too picky but if you want me to represent you, shouldn’t you write to me yourself?

Call me silly but…

Today was a holiday at the publishing houses in New York so not much going on in that arena.

I had the most amazing weekend at the Landmark Forum. Maybe I’ll talk about it some time but right now I’m still digesting. The best part is that I’m having conversations with all my family members that I never dreamed I could have. Talk about feeling really vital and alive today.

But I bring this up because when I was at the forum getting inspired, I sat next to a man who looked like he was in his 40s or early 50s. As conversation often does, it turned to what we do for a living.

He had just retired and one of the break-throughs that he had this weekend was that he always wanted to write a novel and for the past twenty years, always found an excuse not to.

This weekend, he made a commitment to do it (and boy he was kicking himself that the novel wasn’t finished considering the synchronicity of me sitting next to him).

Sheesh. So what? Right?

But it reminded me that it takes a lot of courage to sit down and do that first page. That we can be inspired, write it, and do everything in our power to publish it and the dream still might not happen.

A lot of you have shopped manuscripts (either with agents or the houses) that are now gathering dust in a closet or on your computer.

You had the courage to do it, to be rejected, and to continue because of the sheer joy creating that possibility has given you. That’s what makes life extraordinary.

And it’s easy to forget. But remember, if an agent or an editor rejects your work. It’s not personal. Don’t assign a meaning to it (like “I’m a failure” or “I have no talent” or “this is how my life always is” or “I’m unworthy”).

A NO is simply a NO—nothing more.

Quit whining about it. Quit being attached to your story about why you haven’t published yet. You’re expending too much energy in that arena. Move on. If one novel didn’t sell, get on to that next one. You already know you are courageous. What more do you need?

I’m off doing some personal growth today (translation: pedicure followed by a scrumptious massage and then a Bombay Sapphire happy hour with Miss Snark).

Ha! Caught you. Miss Snark is in Brooklyn; Agent Kristin is in Denver. You do the geography. Only a Blogosphere happy hour can happen here.

But seriously, back on Monday with some new rants.

And for all of you awaiting a response from my seriously overloaded query email inbox, I’m not reading this weekend. You’ll have to practice patience until next week.

This is definitely a rant-worthy topic.

Publishing houses have implemented new corporate policies to pay advances in thirds—a portion of which must now be on publication.

The Penguin Group implemented this last year and a recent Random House negotiation showed me that it’s new policy over there as well. It’s lousy news for the authors and, as much as we would like, agents can’t just wave a magic wand and make such an unfair payment structure disappear.

I’ve talked to a number of agent friends—from independents to those at the bigger outfits—and the general consensus is that we get stuck with it unless we’ve got some leverage—leverage such as multi-interest, a pre-empt, or an auction situation going down.

Then we can eliminate that pesky condition.

Drives me nuts. It’s taking the “advance” out of the advance if you know what I mean. In a 2-book deal, the author might have to wait up to two years to see that final payment. It’s royally unfair.

But we aren’t miracle workers. Sometimes the best that can be done is to weight the majority of the advance to the earlier payments and get something minimal on publication because it’s pretty darn rare for an author to say NO to a deal on the table from the only publishing house that has offered.

I read 150 email queries last night so I’m a little cross-eyed today.

I did take some notes. Out of those 150 queries, about 30 of them were for young adult projects. About every other YA query featured a portal into another world. I kid you not.

I said “no” to all the portal projects. Sorry.

In fact, last night was a tough go with the old queries. Out of the 150 I read, I actually only asked for sample pages for five projects.

That’s a little low—even for me. The number is usually more around 25 requests out of 150 queries.

My agency information must be posted somewhere inappropriate because a lot of queries last night (an unusually high number) were for projects I don’t represent—thrillers, self-help nonfiction, etc.

It’s too bad because it eats up my time. There are a lot of writers who did their research, have a project that fits my list, and queried me appropriately. If I could somehow magically delete all the inappropriate ones, boy, that would knock the numbers down.

I wish. I’m responding to queries from two weeks ago and there are about 700 queries in that inbox right now. Not a happy or pretty sight.

Good thing the Olympics are on and I want to stay home in front of the Telly.

(Yep, you guessed it. I read queries while watching sports all the time. My fav combo is football and doing queries. I always get behind in my responses when the Broncos season ends.)

Here’s another helpful hint. Don’t change your email address during the query process. It’s awfully nice that you send me an update that says your email has changed, but do you think I’m really going to search out your original query and make a note to use the new email address instead when I respond?

Nope. I’m just going to hit reply to the query, send off my response, and be done. If it bounces back, well, it will just get deleted.

If catastrophe happens and your email has to change during the query process, simply resend your email query.

That way you’ll get a response.

Last night I was watching the Olympics and reading sample pages.

Yep. I like to multi-task. And to be honest, I shouldn’t be telling you this. What horrible agent has one eye on the Telly and the other on some sample pages she has requested?

Happens more than you think. So just imagine how good those pages have to be if I’m going to rip my eyes away from young women catching big air on the half-pipe in Torino.

Well, I read a lot of young adult sample pages yesterday (and some even with the Telly off!) and I could just feel a rant coming on.

What’s with portals sucking young adult characters from the modern world into the world of fantasy? Why can’t the characters just exist in the alternate world you want to create?

I can kind of see the stratagem. Maybe you want these characters to have modern issues that will only be solved in the unreality of the adventure in the other world? I’m assuming that’s it, but for the most part, it’s not working.

I’m not alone in this. I was talking to an editor over at Hyperion Books for Children and let me tell you, her rant on this topic was… well, I thought I would just let you down easily. I think her main sentiment was to stop. Please, no more portals sucking unsuspecting young adult characters into an alternate reality.

I’m sure she, as an editor, is not alone in this sentiment. Every fifth query I receive seems to have this set up and even when I think it won’t and I ask for the sample pages, boom, there it shows up.

So perhaps a gentle hint for young adult writers, you might want to rethink this. Obviously, if done amazingly well, it will work and change our minds. For the most part, I’m thinking why not rewrite and simply have your characters exist in the fantasy world where you really want the story to unfold? Perhaps nothing will be lost in that translation and you just might open a closed door.

As you folks are probably gathering, I’m not one for answering questions. I just like to rant on random topics as they strike me. If you’ve got questions, why don’t you sidle on over to Miss Snark because she’s a hell of a gal for answering them.

However, one of my authors posted some sage advice on a discussion board. A lot of writers were pretty darn happy with the detail she gave so I asked her if she would like to guest on my blog.

Sounded like fun–so here’s my author Ally Carter to talk about Publicisits. Take it away Ally.

Soon after Cheating at Solitaire sold, I set aside a portion of my advance to hire an independent publicist. Since then, and (perhaps) as a result, Cheating at Solitaire has been featured in Writers Digest, For Me Magazine, and I had a profile in Romantic Times in addition to a review that I think everyone gets. Now, the million dollar questions:

1. would these things have happened without an independent publicist and 2. will these things sell books?

The short answer: I don’t know.

I will tell you this, in-house publicists (at least in my case) are very nice and good but incredibly busy. Many may welcome outside help. Many may not. I’ve heard very strong reactions to this question on both sides, so I’d say to talk it over with your editor first before you hire someone, and then talk to your publisher’s PR staff to see who they recommend.

In hindsight, I’m very glad I got help pitching Solitaire, simply because I don’t have the contacts or the time to do it myself. I would do a few things differently, though, and all from the communication side of things.

1. I’d put together my own “mini” press package to send to the publicist–hard and electronic copies–with things like contact info for my agent, editor, and in-house publicist.

2…I’d have a serious talk about exactly who was going to get approached, and I wouldn’t settle for “we’re going to have a very aggressive national campaign focusing on all major outlets.” Next time I’m going to ask for specifics.

3…If three or four magazines or newspapers meant more to me, I’d communicate that plainly with the publicist up-front.

4…I’d be very specific about which book the publicist was supposed to be spending her time promoting, because I got a lot of “we’d really rather do something in the spring when her YA book comes out” responses—which is nice—except I wasn’t worried about press for my YA. I was worried about press for Cheating at Solitaire.

5…I’d discuss up-front how open the publicists are going to be to suggestions. I want a publicist who is going to listen to my ideas without feeling threatened.

6…If I don’t want to pitch my hometown newspaper and morning show I’d ask the publicist up-front if she’d be willing to do that, even though it might not be a part of a national campaign.

7…I’d insist, up-front, on weekly updates. Even if the update is just “people got their packets this week, and we’re going to start making calls on Monday.” I’m going to be more aggressive next time about knowing where things stand.

8…Watch out for hidden costs. “Press kit assembly” and “Press Release Writing” fees add up. Some publicists won’t charge extra for these things, but some will. Read the fine print.

9…If a publicist promises you a lot, run…don’t walk…away. The good ones know what they can get you and don’t give you a hard sell–they’re busy enough as it is.

10…It should be a TEAM EFFORT!!! It’s not the independent vs. the in-house. The publicist should make for less work for you–not more–but the only way this will happen is if the right hand knows what the left hand is doing.In my case, hiring an independent publicist was money very well spent. Plus, I learned a lot about the craziness that comes from this process and how to better manage it the next time around. And there will be a next time.
—Ally Carter

Last week I was negotiating a contract with an editor over there at the Random House group.

Color me pink when she mentioned that RH was adding a new clause to the contract that was going to be standard from here on out. RH would now like U.S.-only Spanish Language rights to go with those yummy North American only or World English or World rights.

Glad she mentioned it upfront. What a nasty surprise to have when the contract arrived and as an agent, I don’t like nasty contract surprises. It gets my contracts manager all in a tizzy about why I didn’t clarify this when doing the deal points.

Immediately I started emailing around, seeing if my agent friends had seen this new development. Lucky me, I was the first to experience it—at least from my posse.

What does it mean? Not much really. Just that RH would like one more subsidiary right that they potentially don’t want to pay extra for.

Most agents will probably now discuss it upfront in the deal points—another avenue to get more money out of the publisher in advance or to say “nope, we reserve” when no more money is forthcoming.

It does have some interesting implications for foreign rights though. A quick chat with my very lovely foreign rights manager indicated that it might be something she’ll now have to discuss upfront with the Spanish publishers because when they buy Spanish rights, the house usually wants World (and that would mean a Spanish version in the U.S. as well).

Right now I have her looking into whether it would impact the selling of said Spanish foreign language rights. I’m sure those houses will be thrilled to hear that U.S. Publishers are now actively pursuing our rather substantial Spanish-speaking population.

Times are a-changing.

And I just found out that one of my posse members is actively blogging. Looks like Jennifer has been doing it for a while and I’m just the slowpoke in discovering it. Sheesh. One slap with a wet noodle.

She’s talking more about publicity and has some good points to make. I agree with her whole-heartedly on the importance of a professional website. Go visit her.

There is no doubt in my mind that this dubious title goes to the in-house publicists at the publishing houses. They have an intense daily job (book mailing for reviews, pitching the mags, setting up book tours, coming up with catchy promos or giveaways etc.), tight deadlines and when one book launch is over, the next is right behind it without any time to breathe.

They are young, usually underpaid, and the burn-out rate is high. Many an author has had to say good-bye to their publicist before or during a book launch.

That is why I encourage new authors to think about the care and feeding of their internal publicist but also why they should seriously consider hiring some outside help to supplement the effort of this overworked person.

The internal publicist is almost always grateful and the author gets the benefit of having some control over what happens to the book.

Besides, authors never believe that their publishing houses do enough publicity or marketing for them. That is the biggest complaint I hear (and a justified one in a lot of cases). Part of the problem is that the majority of money publishers spend on marketing is done in the less sexy and not so visible venues—such as bought co-op placement in bookstores. It’s harder for the authors to see the marketing dollars in action so to speak—unlike, let’s say, a billboard in Times Square or an ad in People Magazine.

And for the record, I do think authors should invest part of their advance toward promotion—why not give your book the best shot you can? But how much is really a personal question. All the money in the world spent on publicity won’t necessarily make the book a success.

(I can’t help thinking about a huge promotion that was done last year—at least out here in Colorado—by a self-published author for his book called Wild Animus. There were full page ads in Publishers Weekly. Books were distributed at the Cherry Creek Arts Festival, and it was also a promotional gift in the goody-bag of the half-marathon I ran last year. It started becoming a joke because everyone had this book. When I talked to one of the promoters handing them out, they said 500k was being used on the campaign. I wonder if that’s true. I wonder how this translated into book sales. I don’t hear much about the book now—six months later.)

Some authors do all the publicity in the world and for whatever reason, the book doesn’t sell like it should. Some authors do hardly any promotion and boom, the book takes off and sells like hotcakes on a frosty Sunday morning.

It’s a weird business and if publishing houses could tap and bottle the power behind word-of-mouth, they would.

Wouldn’t we all!