STATUS: I’ve been so busy the last two days that honestly, I simply forgot to blog. Shocking I know. I woke up this morning and slapped my forehead.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? BIG SKY by Kate Bush
Galley Cat just recently posted a fun entry on the Easily Overlooked Art of Agent Research where author David Henry Sterry gives the scoop.
Hum… I’m not sure what to say about the stalking part. Grin. Now I do think writers should have more than 10 possible agents on their submission list but besides that…
Now that’s a good tip on how to target the right agent. Here a few tips on some things that will hinder your agent search. By the way, all of these have just happened in the last few weeks.
1. Telling an agent during your conference pitch session that the agent will be sorry that he or she didn’t allow this writer to pitch his idea for a novel. (Mind you—not a novel that this person has written but an IDEA for a novel).
2. Calling an agent during a busy busy work day and leaving 4 or 5 voicemail messages highlighting that you, the writer, are not computer savvy and since you have questions about submitting, will the agent please call the writer back.
3. A first-time writer asking an agent if he or she can send the half-written first draft of their debut novel. (Gee, what is the likelihood of that being his/her very best work?)
4. A writer sending a note with their submission saying that they thought they should just send along, not what the agent asked for, but chapters 8 and 9 because that’s where the story really picks up.
5. A writer highlighting that they met you, the agent, at a conference that you didn’t actually attend. (Oops.)
6. Writers stating in their queries that were recommended by one of the agent’s clients when they weren’t. (Folks, agents check this and most clients give a heads-up email when doing a referral).
7. Starting an email query with something like “Knowing your expertise with thrillers” and it’s not a genre the agent has represented or handled.
I don’t get the having more than ten agents on your list thing. We’re constantly told to research agents before querying. What if I find only ten which meet all the criteria? Yeah, I know…stop writing YA Interracial Science Fiction-based Time Travel Romances Set in Unpopular Time Periods. (roll the eyes here) Okay, okay, I’ll do Women’s Fiction next.
I cringe when I read things like this. Not because I would do them, but because these writers’ queries are taking up space in your email in-box — and you will have to get through that dreck (junk, Yiddish) to get to some good stuff.
How about when the query salutation blows it on the agent’s gender? With that shoe leather flavor resulting off a 50/50 chance, not only should you halt your desperate query spam, but I’d recommend also cancelling any future tickets to Vegas.
Good stuff here. Have a great rest of the week!
Oh, good grief. I would be positive this was a joke if you hadn’t said it happened recently.
A retired agent mentioned not long ago that if we wrote a professional query to go along with a polished manuscript, we were already far ahead in the game. I thought it might be an exaggeration, but perhaps not.
“Telling an agent during your conference pitch session that the agent will be sorry that he or she didn’t allow this writer to pitch his idea for a novel. (Mind you—not a novel that this person has written but an IDEA for a novel).”
Did you ask why?
“A writer sending a note with their submission saying that they thought they should just send along, not what the agent asked for, but chapters 8 and 9 because that’s where the story really picks up.”
*Does a little happy dance.*
Sorry, that just tickles me.
I love Kate Bush too. Big Sky is a classic…”What’s the question? I was lookin’ at the big sky…” Good stuff.
Reading these true, but sad stories of misguided writers leaves me feeling a bit less insecure about my own knowledge base. Really, do not ever call an agent. Unless that person is your agent, and even then…consider carefully. And ideas for novels? When I reveal that I’m a writer, I get a ton of “ideas” thrown at me. They’re all based on people’s journals that they’ve kept since junior high, too.
The old saw it true: ideas are cheap. Put it on paper, all the way up to “The End”. Then pitch. 😉
I think number 5 I could forgive, maybe they had their agents crossed. The others? Ouch.
Still, being an evil author, all I can think is that people who don’t query right make people like me (who can follow directions) look good. It’s a mean thought, but there’s a lot of competition in the market so…
*shrug*
Alright, #1 has me LMAO. Anyone thinking an AGENT will be sorry they didn’t let them pitch an idea, or an actual manuscript.
Oh, Lord. That is one green writer. I think when the only deals you hear about in the media are the ones where writers are getting 3 book, 500k deals, sold at auctions, with multiple houses bidding, you have a tendency to think that being a writer means you are going to be revered in some way. That people will throw roses at you, that they will actually care what your book is about and should fall all over you in hopes of representing you. Yeah, not so much. Not in the real world.
And a first time writer wanting to send a half-written manuscript in to an agent? I’m agented and even I wouldn’t make my agent suffer through a half-done first draft of something. She’d kill me. Frankly, I’m a little afraid of her.
This irks me sometimes — about writer’s conferences — it seems like the stupid writers always somehow have the cash to attend them, no matter the cost. And often times real writers, that have done research, and have suffered through the hard work of eighty five drafts of a really marketable book, and dream about agentquery.com in their sleep don’t have the funds to attend. I’ve seen it over and over again.
A good post for me, Kristin. I’m right there. 🙂
Sterry mentions the same technique of researching an agent in Putting your Passion into Print.
I think it’s a great tip, only trouble is, sometimes a book won’t even have an acknowledgements page. And sometimes, even if it does, they won’t specify which name is their agent.
But, it’s better than nothing. I’m always greatful for advice on finding the agents. There are so many out there, it’s a rather overwhealming task.
Too funny, Kristin! Esp. your note about all of these happening recently. 🙂
And since you enjoy music, I thought I’d share a recent discovery of mine (of course, you may already know of this…) Iron and Wine. Great lyrics, wonderful mellow tunes.
I’m grateful that it’s not just editors who get this stuff. I put these author blunders into the category of “Ready, Fire, Aim.”
Ridiculous. The things people do never cease to amaze me.
As for comment 3 – obviously a half-written 1st draft isn’t what any agent is looking for – but how finished does a novel have to be for you to consider the submission seriously. Obviously something that’s been through multiple drafts and reads is the ideal, but what if an author is 3/4th done, or 19/20ths. I’m assuming the author should be up-front and honest in the query and state where they’re at, but I feel like being open and honest is better then quickly throwing together a crappy ending or swampy middle just to submit… thoughts?
If this makes you feel any better, Kristin (although it might make you feel worse), even authors get this kind of stuff. I’ve been shocked at the people who want me to read their (often un) finished ms, or even just hear their (often unfinished) ideas. (And yes, one guy told me the “you’ll be sorry” thing. I think he wanted me to write it. I did not get into specifics of payment, etc. 🙂
Then, there are the friend-of-a-friend (or even stranger) requests, a la: “I’ve always wanted to write a [fill in the blank]. How do you get published/an agent?” OY! I try to explain that there are entire books/websites devoted to this and they should do some research, then maybe they’d have some specific (ie intelligent) questions.
Would anyone even think of approaching Buzz Aldren and saying, “I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut. How would I do that?”
(BTW – when someone tells me, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, I just never had the time,” my respose is, “That’s exactly why I never became an astronaut. The time thing.”)
elise,
i’m not an agent but my understanding is that your novel must be 100% finished and as polished as you and your CPs, beta readers and writing groups can get it to be. never submit anything to an agent than your very best, finished work.
no exceptions unless you are already published, famous, have a favor to call in.
I’m starting to feel like I know this stuff at last. I’d already read a lot of the points you made in your earlier blogs, and the others struck me as silly anyway =) And I HAUNT bookstores looking for similar projects. I carry them through Barnes and Nobles in stacks that cause me to resemble the clumsy mouse in Cinderellla, lol. Hope that means I’m doing something right!
Maybe it would be quicker if people just submitted their ideas to agents first, to get a feel whether it’s even something they would care to represent… 😉
“This irks me sometimes — about writer’s conferences — it seems like the stupid writers always somehow have the cash to attend them, no matter the cost. And often times real writers, that have done research, and have suffered through the hard work of eighty five drafts of a really marketable book, and dream about agentquery.com in their sleep don’t have the funds to attend. I’ve seen it over and over again.”
Ive heard this before about workshops or conferences. What other people do shouldn’t have any bearing on what we do. When the time is right, there will be a way.
Plus “the stupid writers” have as much right to try and learn as anyone. Who’s to say they don’t have a marketable book also.
I believe that’s called a query letter, Aston. 🙂
aston, ideas are like…um, noses. Every writer has one. Actually, they’re more like skin cells. Every writer has a boatload. The trick is actually taking that idea and turning it into a completed novel. Agents and editors are only partially interested in ideas–it’s the execution that they can sell.
This post reminds me why I will stay a writer and not venture out of my nice little corner of the world.
Calling an agent during a busy busy work day and leaving 4 or 5 voicemail messages highlighting that you, the writer, are not computer savvy and since you have questions about submitting, will the agent please call the writer back.
Seriously?