Pub Rants

In Loving Memory

by Kristin Nelson

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STATUS: I will not be blogging for the rest of this week.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? JACKSON By Johnny Cash
(My dad’s favorite artist.)

James Carl E–
May 9, 1936-January 5, 2010

Dad, I just wanted to say thank you…

–for taking me to the library every Sunday afternoon without fail the whole time I was growing up. My passion for books began there.

–for teaching me how to sail and for all the weekends we did just that together.

–for not saying that I was crazy when I quit my job, gave up tenure, moved halfway across the country without a job prospect in sight. You just said, “you only get one life; do what makes you happy.” Well, it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life and your support made it possible.

–for living with cancer and going blind with grace, dignity, and never a complaint. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do the same but you’ve shown me how.

–for asking me to bring, of all things, your iPod shuffle to the hospital because darn it, you really needed to know how that audio book ended. And people wonder where I get that from so I want them to know that I am successful because you taught me to do my passion and it was through you that I found just that in books.

–for tolerating my football commentating so you could “see” the game but heck, that Auburn-Northwestern bowl game with its wild finish was so worth it. I’ll never forget sharing that with you.

I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to say all these things and more.

I miss you already. Rest in Peace

Love Kristin


290 Responses

  3. K. M. Walton said:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is rough. Eleven years ago I lost my dad to cancer right after he turned 51.

    I feel your pain and my prayers are with you.

  7. Sara McClung ♥ said:

    I am so sorry for your loss… Your words for your father are beautifully written.

    When my grandmother passed away, someone quoted Stonewall Jackson and it did help me to find a sense of peace:

    “Let us pass over the river, and rest in the shade of the trees.”

  8. Laura said:

    That was a beautiful tribute. I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in 2003, and when my son asks about his grandma, I tell him every story I can remember about her.

    Those we love live on in our hearts, our memories, our words and our writings long after they’ve passed in the flesh.

  13. Susan at Stony River said:

    How lucky you two were to have each other! What a
    tribute, to a wonderful father.

    My Dad died of cancer too, 23 years ago. He fought it a lot longer than he wanted to, to be there for us as long as he couuld, and he did it with a courage and strength I can’t even imagine. It’s a gift I feel with me every day since.

    Stay strong, be good, love him forever! You’re in my prayers tonight.

  17. Dreamstate said:

    My sincerest condolences on your loss. I know your life will never be quite the same but you are so blessed to have such great memories to keep in your heart.

  18. DebraLSchubert said:

    Dear Kristin,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a truly amazing man. My dad is the same age (born 9.26.36) and my mom has been winning her battle w/breast cancer (thank God), so I can relate.

    May your sweet memories of your precious dad linger and comfort you for the rest of your life. I’m sending virtual hugs your way.
    Debbie

  21. Sue said:

    Your tribute to your father is lovely. Your description paints him as a gem of a man. I’m sure he’ll be missed by everyone who knew him.

  23. Kara said:

    So sorry for your loss. My boyfriend of three years is battling cancer at the moment. Many positive thoughts being sent your way.

  25. Maprilynne said:

    My best thoughts are with you. Certainly don’t worry about us readers as you take the time you need to yourself. He sounds like a wonderful man. *hug*

  28. Piedmont Writer said:

    I have tears in my eyes and a hole in my heart. I am so sorry for your loss but you’ve blessed us with his memory and now we can all see what a truly fantastic guy your dad was. Bless you and your family during this sorrowful time.

  33. Tracy said:

    So sorry for your loss. I’m glad you got to say everything you wanted. We lost my mother-in-law at age 51 to a 10 year battle with cancer. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

  34. AE Rought said:

    Kristin, I lost my dad this past year, too. I never knew what a hole his passing would create, and an ache I still struggle with. Please accept my sincere condolences. I wish you every peace, and every possible comfort in dealing with your loss.

    Love and healing light,
    Ann

  38. Sarah Olutola said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.

    I lost my dad a little more than a year ago to kidney disease. It’s hard and I think about him every day, but I feel like he’s still with me in a way.

    Thanks for sharing this very personal post. My prayers are with you.

  40. Heather said:

    I’m so sorry. That bit about bringing the iPod for the audio book made me laugh, and by the end I was tearing up. He sounds like a wonderful father and person.

  45. BJ said:

    This is beautiful. There is nothing as inspiring as encouragement from someone you love and respect. Thank you for sharing your memories of your father.

    Take care.

  48. Mac said:

    This is a lovely memorial.

    Please accept my condolences. I’m so sorry for your loss, but so very glad you’ve got such lovely memories to cherish.

  49. LeeAnn Flowers said:

    I am very sorry for your loss. I had a close call with my own beloved dad a few years ago and I can sympathize perfectly. I will keep you and your family in our prayers.

  50. Karen said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your father left a beautiful legacy. I hope it’s a blessing to you while you grieve that you were able to share all this with him.

  51. Adrienne said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember when my grandmother died last year I was struck how despite the sadness I felt, I would never wish it away. I realised that I would rather feel the pain in that moment, than never having got to know such an amazing person to feel such grief over. If that makes sense.

    At any rate, my thoughts are with you and yours. He sounds like he was the very best of people.

  55. Rachel Stark said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like a wonderful man, and you definitely know how lucky you were to have him. This was quite beautiful.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  56. emeraldcite said:

    A wonderful tribute. I hope that my own daughter looks back on her life in the same way and that I have such a positive effect.

    I have no doubt he is proud.

    My condolences.

  59. Anonymous said:

    Kristin,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my father a few years back and he’s always with me. I’m sure your father will be right over your shoulder cheering you on.

    Connie Gillam

  64. Christine said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad seven years ago. He took me to the library, taught me to read… but my loss cannot be your loss. All I can say is your loss makes me weep for you and your family.

    Thanks for the beautiful vignette you painted. And for sharing your relationship with your father.

    You’re in my thoughts.

  68. Tricia J. O'Brien said:

    What a beautiful tribute. Your father sounds like a extraordinary man, and I think the same can be said for the daughter who wrote this. I am so sorry for your loss.

  78. TH said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours during such a trying time.
    It sounds like your father lived a great life as a good person, and he left a legacy behind in you.

    God speed.

  79. Eileen said:

    My thoughts are with you and your family. He sounds as if he was a wonderful man and he clearly made an impact on his world.

  90. Sarah Laurenson said:

    I lost my dad to cancer 4 years ago. He wrote his own eulogy and now I know where I got my writing genes.

    My heart goes out to you as you walk through this time. Your post is a lovely tribute.

  98. Caroline said:

    This reminded me of my parents, who also taught me to sail. I’m glad you’re able to see the beauty in your dad’s life. Know that all of us blog readers are thinking of you.

  99. Anonymous said:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you are surrounded by lots of people who love you and support you. This is a beautiful tribute to him. It’s wonderful that you have so many good memories.

  102. Marie Lu said:

    There’s probably nothing I can say that can be comforting enough, but I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have tears in my eyes because my grandfather succumbed to cancer several years ago and this brought back memories. I’m so glad that you were able to share some good times with your dad before his passing, and that you and your dad had such a wonderful relationship. Rest in peace, Mr. Carl.

  103. D. Robert Pease said:

    What a wonderful thing this Internet is. Moments ago I had no inkling of who James Carl is. Now I’ve seen a glimpse into a wonderful man’s life and the legacy he has left in his daughter. Thank you for letting us know such a man lived.

  107. Dana said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Kristin. I lost my mother to cancer seven years ago. It’s terribly hard to lose a parent. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Though I know we’re not friends, since I live near Denver, I’ll offer my help for anything you might need.

  111. Kristi said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. How beautiful that you were able to say those things to him in life. So many people miss that chance – you are truly blessed to have had such an amazing relationship with him. I love the picture. 🙂

  118. therese said:

    Hugs.
    I don’t know if this will help, but…
    It’s been 4 years since my dad went to “see mom”. I don’t miss them anymore because there are so many things that make me think of them, with joy, it’s almost like they are closer and a lot more fun now than ever.
    Peace.

  120. Deanna Gibbons said:

    We are praying for you and your family during these hard times. Your post was beautiful and I’m sure a father that took so much interest in his daughter would be proud of who you are today!

  121. Karen Collum said:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. Your dad sounds like he was a pretty amazing guy. What wonderful memories he has given you! It’s my prayer that those memories will bring you comfort, peace and even a smile, in the coming days and weeks.

  127. Lindsey said:

    I’m truly sorry for your loss. It sounds like your father was a guy anyone could find themselves friends with. What a blessing it was for you to be his daughter. Your post is a wonderful celebration of your fathers memory. My prayers are with you during this trying time. May he rest in peace.
    ~Lindsey

  128. Keeks said:

    I am crying reading this post. Kristin, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this tough time. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  135. Rhea said:

    Your tribute to your wonderful dad is beautiful, and I thank you for sharing.

    My deepest condolences to you and your family.

    God bless.

  138. Karen said:

    Kristin, thanks so much for this small window into your dad’s world. My sympathies to you and yours. (You’ve got his smile. Nice.)

  140. Elyssa Papa said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family during this time. Thank you for sharing such beautiful memories of your father with the rest of us. Please know that this post touched me, and I’m sure, it also touched others.

  141. Welshcake said:

    Kirsten, so sorry to read this. The loss of a parent is so very hard to bear, harder than we can imagine until it happens. Nothing ever replaces the gap they leave.

  143. Dayspring said:

    My prayers are with you. Seven years on, we still mourn my father-in-law every January…it’s a pain that will never entirely go away, but it’s wonderful that you’re concentrating on remembering all the great things about your dad. Thanks for sharing with us.

  145. Beth said:

    Your father will live on in your memory and heart, Kristin. You were both lucky to have each other. Warm thoughts heading your way.

  158. Drgnwrtr said:

    I could send you my condonlences, my thoughts, my prayers but it doesn’t seem enough. I just lost my own dad in September, your tribute was poignant and beautiful. Dad taught us a lot of things but the most important was you can do anything you put your mind to as long as your heart is in it. He used to tell us – you’re strong, you’re smart and you’re my daughter, if the first two aren’t enough, the last one will get you through anything.

    Here’s to the blessed memories of dad…

    Thinking of you in your time of sorrow, know that you are not alone and be comforted

  159. Angie said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones. May you find comfort and peace in the loving memories of your father.

  164. Matilda McCloud said:

    I lost my dad, too. Even though he’s gone, he’s still with me, giving me advice, cheering me on.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve for your wonderful dad.

    Mary Jo

  165. rachelcapps said:

    My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family, Kristin. What a very special person to lose, my prayers are with you. An amazing photo. Hugs …

  171. beverley said:

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you Kristin, and your family. May your memories always sustain you, and may your father rest in peace knowing how much he was loved.

    Bev

  173. Debbie said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have wonderful memories to help you through this sad time. Remember that although it will always leave a hole, it does get easier to to deal with.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  174. Jolene G. said:

    Kristin,
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of your father; I hope that those memories bring you comfort during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers and with you and your family.

  176. Alli said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like someone many people would love to have met – thank you for introducing him to us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It’s so lovely you have wonderful memories of an amazing man.

  181. Leslie said:

    My father died this year as well. There isn’t a way to truly express the loss, but you did a close-to-perfect job of it. You’re in my prayers.

  184. Holen said:

    Condolences on your loss – but it sounds like you were blessed with a very good father for the time you had him.

  185. Anonymous said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to a man who so clearly meant the world to you. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  187. ninidee said:

    I lost my father, my best friend, eighteen months ago. I feel your pain.
    When he died, I filled a journal with all of our memories. Any dream I had of him after his death, I wrote down. It was my therapy. When I look back now, I am so grateful that I did that because I don’t know if I would have ever remembered it all, especially the dreams.

    My sincerest thoughts,

    Maribeth

  190. Jen Chandler said:

    Kristin,

    I’m so sorry. I lost my dad two years ago so I know what you’re going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Jen

  191. Kristi said:

    I write this to you as tears stream down my face….

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time! What a heartfelt, beautifully written tribute.

    So sorry for your loss. Sending lots of hugs over the internet to you right now!

  194. Libbie said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristin. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man. I’m glad you have so many beautiful memories of him.

  196. Anonymous said:

    Haven’t commented before, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss and what a lovely tribute it is to your father to give all your readers a glimpse at a remarkable man.

  205. Julie said:

    Your father sounds like such a wonderful man…I’m so sorry for your loss.
    I lost my father two years ago, so I can relate to the pain.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  206. Anonymous said:

    I lost my brother two years ago…it is memories like these that will help you get through the difficult times. So sorry for your loss.

    PLJ

  211. Jess Haines said:

    I’m very sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like he was a very warm, caring, incredible person. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  216. Ellen B said:

    Kristin, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My father passed away almost five years ago and I still miss him every day.

    He sounds like a wonderful man. I’m glad you have such great memories of him, and that he taught you things that will stay with you. That’s the best way to remember the people we’ve loved.

  218. Sharon Honeycutt said:

    Your post brought tears to my eyes, Kristin. It made me think of how many special times I’ve had with my dad, and how grateful I am for them. God bless and strengthen you and yours. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  220. Cassandra said:

    This tribute to Mr Carl is a blessing to all who read it. May it redound bountifully upon all his family.

  224. LS said:

    What a beautiful, eloquent tribute. My condolences for your loss. My own father passed away the same day 23 years ago.

  226. Anita said:

    Your dad must’ve been so proud of the fabulous woman you’ve become. Thank you for sharing these very personal memories with us…it was a gentle reminder to me, as a parent, to make those same kinds of memories with my own children.

  227. Anonymous said:

    My deepest condolences for your loss. I’ve been there and know how hard it is. Know he is at peace and probably reading his favorite books.
    And I did spell check on word for ‘condolences’, but it still looks like an odd spelling. I’m sorry if it is the wrong word.

  232. Spring said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It was wonderful to catch a glimpse into such a loving and happy relationship through your blog post.

  233. Robin Miura said:

    I’m so sorry, Kristin. It sounds like he gave you a wonderful gift of freedom to follow your dreams without fear. I hope I can do the same for my daughters. He must be very proud of you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  234. Lindsey said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Words are inadequate, but memories are blessings. I’m glad you have such lovely ones.

  238. Anonymous said:

    I’m so sorry, Kristin. Thank you for sharing him with us through this post and the wonderful photo. Peace and comfort to you in your loss.

  239. Jana said:

    I am deeply sorry. My good thoughts are with you and your family right now.

    I am glad that you have so many cherished memories you can carry with you in the future. It sounds like your dad was a remarkable man.

  240. Gooberella said:

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad. My prayers are with you in your time of loss. I will now listen to the song you’ve provided in memory of your dad…Johnny Cash.

    ~God bless

  242. Santa said:

    My condolences to you and your family. I lost my father fourteen years ago and I still look to his council. Thank you for introducing him to us. You were equally blessed.

  250. Rebecca R. Palmer said:

    I’ve never commented before, but I just wanted to wish you and your family strength in dealing with this. My condolences for your dad, he sounds like a great man.

  252. Melissa said:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your father. May you find comfort in the many wonderful memories you have of him. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  258. Jennifer Spiller said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My Dad is battling cancer now. This was a loving tribute. My heart hurts for you, but how wonderful that this special man was in your life. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

  259. Buffra said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. May the happy memories comfort you and provide laughter during this time of tears and always.

  261. Katrina Stonoff said:

    What a lovely tribute. I’m sure your father was (and remains) very proud of you, and this post certainly shows why he would be.

    Bless you in this time of loss.

  265. Tim said:

    Kristin, He must have been a terrific dad, because he raised a daughter who spends her spare time trying to help struggling writers. Kids learn generosity from their parents. I can only hope my kids will write something half as wonderful about me someday.

    I’m very sorry for your loss.

  266. marcie said:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. My father passed away seven years ago this month and the grief eases, but the space that was his…it is always there. I wish you and your Dad had more time together, but I’m so glad the time you had was wonderful.

    Your tribute is beautiful and lets us get a glimpse of a truly lovely man.

  268. ejwriter said:

    i’m an avid reader of your blog, but this is the first time i’ve commented.
    i just had to say i’m so terribly sorry for your loss.
    your post brought me to tears.

  271. Hannia said:

    I had tears in my eyes while reading this post. Stay strong as he’ll always be with you. No one is truly ever gone while you hold them within your heart.

  275. Lee Thompson said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was one of the best dad’s a kid could ask for. My prayers are with you and yours.

    Lee

  276. Imelda said:

    Just adding my voice to those who have already sent their condolences. Be gentle with yourself and ask for help when you need it. I love the photo of you and your Dad together. A Dad who can look that thrilled about playing with his little girl is one great Dad. May he rest in peace and may you and all who loved him draw solace from the memories.

  278. Dawn Chartier said:

    Sounds like your father was just as lucky to have you as a daughter as you were to have him as a father. He sounded like a wonderful man…

    Big hugs,
    Dawn C

  279. ali said:

    Wow, Kristin. I’m so, so sorry. Having lost both my parents as a young woman, I can empathize with what you must be feeling right now. Your letter to your dad was just beautiful. (hugs)

  281. Mary Ann Scott said:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristin. What a beautiful tribute to some of those little moments that difined your relationship helped you become who you are. They made all the difference.

  284. Glen Akin said:

    Sorry for your loss, Kristin. Your father did well – he gave the world you, a wonderful, talented agent, and I’m sure he’s mighty proud of that

  288. Rita St. Claire said:

    I’ve never posted to your blog before, but do so now to tell you I’m so sorry, Kristen. Your father will be with you forever; just in a different way now. (I still talk with my mother and father, whom are long gone.)

    Thank you for telling us about this caring man. May he rest in peace, and may God bless and keep you and your family.

  290. Asild said:

    *To be able to put into words just some of the things this man meant to you, that is grace.

    *To know that he helped you though acts large and small to be come a better you, that’s a blessing.

    *To be able to recount so vividly those memories distant and recent, that’s a great gift to have in the wake of his passing.

    I wish you and your family the very, very best. Thank you for sharing this very tender and private moment in your life.