STATUS: Today is a holiday but I came into the office to try and catch up.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? PRIDE (IN THE NAME OF LOVE) by U2
In honor of MLK, why don’t you buy a novel today from an African-American author.
I’ve got three Denver writers I’d like to suggest to help you do just that.
Kim Reid’s NO PLACE SAFE
Carleen Brice’s ORANGE, MINT, & HONEY
Elyse Singleton’s THIS SIDE OF THE SKY
STATUS: Uh, I have 310 emails in my inbox and I handled at least 50 today. More came in. Oh boy.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? OPERATOR by Jim Croce
(listening to some of Dad’s favs)
One of the reasons why I approached this query letter a little differently than previous discussions was to show blog readers that a variety of approaches in a pitch blurb can work.
There isn’t just one way to write that paragraph and have it work. I know y’all want the silver bullet that will assure your query letter the attention it deserves but as you can see from the list of comments left on yesterday’s entry, readers had different opinions on which one worked best for them.
And in actuality, both are good, strong pitches—but in different ways. So let me talk about that.
When I wrote my pitch paragraph, I remember that I didn’t have Gail’s original query handy. She resent it to me later so that I could have it on file. Since time was of the essence for the submission, I went ahead and created my paragraph from scratch.
Usually I take the author’s original query pitch as the genesis—the jumping off point for creating my pitch. That way I’m doing a blending of the author’s tone and approach with my own. I didn’t have that for this letter and I wanted to point that out.
For me, I wish I had the line “It is a romantic romp through the streets of Victorian London, from high society to the steam punk laboratories of Frankenstein-like scientists” for my letter. I think it’s the perfect sentence to establish the tone.
Alas… I didn’t so I went to my fall back (which a commenter pointed out) which was to describe the inciting incident that starts the novel. This also has the added benefit of allowing me to describe the world without having to do a lot of telling.
“When avowed spinster Miss Alexia Tarabotti is attacked by a vampire at a private ball, she’s simply appalled. No vampire worth his salt would ever jeopardize his rank in society by attacking her so vulgarly in a public place.”
Without my saying so, the reader gets immediately that vampires are accepted and simply a part of the society in this world. An attack at a ball would be an oddity. See what I’m doing here?
Then I jump into back story because the key to understanding this novel is Alexia’s unique character element of being soulless.
“Not to mention, every vampire knows that she’s soulless and therefore contact with her will negate all supernatural ability. Poof! No more immortality. Vampires know to avoid her like the plague.”
This allows me to highlight even more why this vampire attack is strange.
Now in Gail’s query, she starts with Alexia’s soulless state—which also works.
“Alexia Tarabotti was born without a soul. This affliction could be considered a good thing, for in England those with too much soul can be turned into vampires, werewolves, or ghosts.”
She’s setting up how the world works. Then she hits on the conflict.
“Unfortunately, when unregistered vampires start to mysteriously appear in London, everyone thinks she’s to blame, including the Queen’s official investigator, Lord Maccon.”
Ah, folks think Alexia is responsible. That’s a problem. Notice that Gail didn’t really explain why Alexia’s soulless state is an issue (because it negates the supernatural). I, however, did in my pitch because I thought that info would be key to understanding the world. On the flip side, I didn’t mention in my pitch that Alexia is presumed to be to blame (and looking back, I should have).
Now Gail tackles the light tone and sets up for some romantic tension in next line:
“In such a situation, what’s a young lady to do but grab her parasol and find out what’s really going on? Of course Lord Maccon might object, but Alexia doesn’t give a fig for the opinion of a werewolf, or does she?”
Gail does a great job of lightly eluding to a possible romantic entangle. I didn’t touch on that at all in my pitch—mainly because I wanted this manuscript be seen as steampunk fantasy—even though it leans paranormal romance a bit. I focused solely on Alexia for that reason. I only wanted to tease the editor enough to be intrigued and read on. My wrap up keeps the storyline deliberately vague.
“Which means that this is no society vampire and since no vampires can be made without the proper paperwork, this vampire is a rogue. No simpering miss, Alexia is delighted to try to find out the particulars but she just may get more than she bargained for.”
Now rereading this, I probably should have phrased that second line “this is a rogue vampire.” Oh well, I’m not perfect. Grin.
As for the last line “If the author Jane Austen were to have written a vampire novel during her lifetime, SOULLESS would have been it,” I included it because that’s exactly how this novel struck me.
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies had not been released yet. I didn’t know a thing about that novel and how successful it would be, but Austen stuff has been hot for a while and since this had that feel, I wanted to highlight it as a selling point. Thus the last line.
It worked! And anybody who reads SOULLESS knows exactly what I’m talking about.
So there you have it—anatomy of two pitch blurbs.
TGIF! I’m out.
STATUS: Only 341 emails in the inbox and counting…
What’s playing on the iPod right now? POEMS, PRAYERS, & PROMISES by John Denver
For this entry, I thought I would do a different spin on annotating the query letter. Gail had a unique situation when she sent me her email. She already had an editor interested in the novel, which rather give her letter a leg up.
She contacted me specifically because several years prior, I had looked at an earlier novel from her. I hadn’t offered rep but I had given her a revision letter. She ended up scrapping that novel altogether but she kept my letter and decided I was the first agent she would contact with this editor interest.
So here’s her letter in the original form.
Dear Ms. Nelson:
XXXX editor is interested in publishing my 81,000 word paranormal novel, SOULLESS, and I am seeking representation. It is a romantic romp through the streets of Victorian London, from high society to the steam punk laboratories of Frankenstein-like scientists.
Alexia Tarabotti was born without a soul. This affliction could be considered a good thing, for in England those with too much soul can be turned into vampires, werewolves, or ghosts. Unfortunately, when unregistered vampires start to mysteriously appear in London, everyone thinks she’s to blame, including the Queen’s official investigator, Lord Maccon. In such a situation, what’s a young lady to do but grab her parasol and find out what’s really going on? Of course Lord Maccon might object, but Alexia doesn’t give a fig for the opinion of a werewolf, or does she?
My previous professional sales include various shorts stories and two mid-grade readers through Harcourt Education. I can be reached by email at XXXXX or phone at XXXX if you would like to see the manuscript. I understand you are very busy, and am grateful for your time and attention.
Sincerely,
Gail Carriger
Now I thought I would share the pitch blurb I created when I contacted editors about the project.
When avowed spinster Miss Alexia Tarabotti is attacked by a vampire at a private ball, she’s simply appalled. No vampire worth his salt would ever jeopardize his rank in society by attacking her so vulgarly in a public place. Not to mention, every vampire knows that she’s soulless and therefore contact with her will negate all supernatural ability. Poof! No more immortality. Vampires know to avoid her like the plague.
Which means that this is no society vampire and since no vampires can be made without the proper paperwork, this vampire is a rogue. No simpering miss, Alexia is delighted to try to find out the particulars but she just may get more than she bargained for.
If the author Jane Austen were to have written a vampire novel during her lifetime, SOULLESS would have been it.
Instead of my doing all the work, I’m going to let you folks take first shot at it.
What’s different about these two pitches?
What’s similar?
In looking at both in retrospect, I think each have different strengths. What do you like from Gail’s pitch that didn’t make it into mine and maybe should have? Vice Versa?
Give me your thoughts and I’ll talk more about this tomorrow.
STATUS: As you can imagine, since I’ve been out of the office pretty much since December 18, I’m a little behind on work. Sorry for the blog lapse.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? DECEMBER, 1963 (OH WHAT A NIGHT) by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
As we launch the new year, I imagine that many a blog reader is getting back into the query game. What better time than to tackle another successful client’s original query and what caught my interest.
Maybe it will shed a little light on how you can tackle your own query letter as you jump into your agent search.
Next up is Megan Crewe—a lovely Canadian writer whose debut GIVE UP THE GHOST hit shelves last fall.
In fun news, Holt Children’s has been doing some great co-op in Barnes & Noble. I shot this pic while on holiday. Funny enough, you can see two of my authors prominently displayed on the main shelf in the YA section of BN. Gotta love that.
But this entry is really about Megan’s debut—a YA with a really different paranormal element that is worth picking up. In my mind, not every YA needs to be an angsty romance. I really enjoy stories that delve into the darker side of being a teen and learning that revenge never can take the place of human compassion—which is what our narrator comes to understand in GIVE UP THE GHOST.
I have to say that Megan’s query immediately caught my attention as she had a whole different take on utilizing ghosts that I’ve never seen before. Besides, I like complex narrators. It’s not what is hitting the NYT list right now but I still find these stories super compelling.
Original query without annotation:
Dear Ms. Nelson:
I am seeking representation for my completed 62,000 word young adult novel, IN MEMORY OF.
Sixteen-year-old Cass McKenna would take the company of the dead over the living any day. Unlike her high school classmates, the dead don’t lie or judge, and they’re way less scary than Danielle, the best-bud-turned-backstabber who kicked Cass to the bottom of the social ladder in seventh grade. Since then, Cass has styled herself as an avenger. Using the secrets her ghostly friends stumble across, she exposes her fellow students’ deceits and knocks the poseurs down a peg.
When Tim Reed, the student council V.P., asks Cass to chat with his recently-deceased mom, her instinct is to laugh in his face. But Tim’s part of Danielle’s crowd. He can give Cass dirt the dead don’t know. Intent on revenge, Cass offers to trade her spirit-detecting skills for his information. She isn’t counting on chasing a ghost who would rather hide than speak to her, facing the explosive intervention of an angry student, or discovering that Tim’s actually an okay guy. Then Tim sinks into a suicidal depression, and Cass has to choose: run back to the safety of the dead, or risk everything to stop Tim from becoming a ghost himself.
Told in Cass’ distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, IN MEMORY OF will appeal to fans of Scott Westerfeld and Annette Curtis Klause.
My short fiction has appeared in Brutarian Quarterly and On Spec. I maintain the Toronto Speculative Fiction Writers Group, and I’ve worked with children and teens as a recreational programmer and behavioral therapist for several years.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Megan Crewe
Now the query with my comments:
Dear Ms. Nelson:
I am seeking representation for my completed 62,000 word young adult novel, IN MEMORY OF.
Since the novel is called GIVE UP THE GHOST, it’s obvious that Holt Children’s and Megan decided to change the title. There were too many other novels with the title Giving Up The Ghost so we truncated a bit to make it stand out.
Sixteen-year-old Cass McKenna would take the company of the dead over the living any day. Unlike her high school classmates, the dead don’t lie or judge, and they’re way less scary than Danielle, the best-bud-turned-backstabber who kicked Cass to the bottom of the social ladder in seventh grade. The opening of this query is simply back story. In order to understand the hook, we need to know the previous history of the narrator Cass in order to have a context. Since then, Cass has styled herself as an avenger. Using the secrets her ghostly friends stumble across, she exposes her fellow students’ deceits and knocks the poseurs down a peg.
Call me a rebel but I love the idea of knocking down the poseurs a peg or two. Wasn’t that always the secret fantasy of any teen who was an outsider to the status quo? But the main thing that caught my attention here is the idea of using ghosts as a secret army of spies. If ghosts can be anywhere, of course they would see/hear all the dirt and be able to report it. That’s brilliant. Of course that’s how a person who can see ghosts would actually use them. Such a twist on the whole ghost story idea. This had my attention immediately.
When Tim Reed, the student council V.P., asks Cass to chat with his recently-deceased mom, her instinct is to laugh in his face. But Tim’s part of Danielle’s crowd. He can give Cass dirt the dead don’t know. Ah, we aren’t suger-coating Cass’s initial motivation. I like novels that are honest. Intent on revenge, Cass offers to trade her spirit-detecting skills for his information. She isn’t counting on chasing a ghost who would rather hide than speak to her, facing the explosive intervention of an angry student, or discovering that Tim’s actually an okay guy. And here’s the redemption. If Cass is lumping all other teens into one clique fitting mold as they do her—does that make her any better? I’m thinking this novel is about Cass realizing that. Then Tim sinks into a suicidal depression, and Cass has to choose: run back to the safety of the dead, or risk everything to stop Tim from becoming a ghost himself. Such a clincher here. Cass has been living with the dead in the form of ghosts. What does she risk if she reconnects with the living? Something she is going to have to do if she overcomes her stereotype of Tim, learn compassion, and perhaps keep him from joining the ghosts that surround her. I’m so interested!
Told in Cass’ distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, IN MEMORY OF will appeal to fans of Scott Westerfeld and Annette Curtis Klause. Excellent comparison. It shows that Megan understands her novel’s place in the market. Notice she doesn’t say her novel is as good as these huge successes—just that the voice will appeal to the fans who enjoy these two other authors.
My short fiction has appeared in Brutarian Quarterly and On Spec. I maintain the Toronto Speculative Fiction Writers Group, and I’ve worked with children and teens as a recreational programmer and behavioral therapist for several years. Relevant bio but she doesn’t have too much background in writing so she keeps it short and sweet. Fiction can stand on its own so bio is helpful but blog readers need to know that a lack of background is not a deal breaker; however, she does have experience with teens and makes sure to include that. That never hurts.
Thank you for your time. I always appreciate a thank you here.
Sincerely,
Megan Crewe
All in all a really strong query. She uses back story and character insight (both things I highlight in my Query Pitch online blog workshop (see left side bar) to build a great pitch around her hook.
STATUS: I’m back in the office.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? GLAD TIDINGS by Van Morrison
While I was out, I saw an article in Publishers Weekly that mentioned that Kirkus might be bought so the review journal could continue publishing.
I have to say this warms my heart—even though they gave one of my books an only so-so review last week. Big smile here.
I do think that online review sites will gain in prominence and I’m certainly not against that, but I do think there is value in a long-standing, revered review journal continuing. It’s going to take some more years for the online sites to gain the same prominence with booksellers and librarians that Kirkus already has in place.
A strong Kirkus review can create an automatic buy for libraries. I can’t name an online site that does the same—yet.
Come back and stay this time Kirkus.
STATUS: I will not be blogging for the rest of this week.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? JACKSON By Johnny Cash
(My dad’s favorite artist.)
James Carl E–
May 9, 1936-January 5, 2010
Dad, I just wanted to say thank you…
–for taking me to the library every Sunday afternoon without fail the whole time I was growing up. My passion for books began there.
–for teaching me how to sail and for all the weekends we did just that together.
–for not saying that I was crazy when I quit my job, gave up tenure, moved halfway across the country without a job prospect in sight. You just said, “you only get one life; do what makes you happy.” Well, it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life and your support made it possible.
–for living with cancer and going blind with grace, dignity, and never a complaint. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do the same but you’ve shown me how.
–for asking me to bring, of all things, your iPod shuffle to the hospital because darn it, you really needed to know how that audio book ended. And people wonder where I get that from so I want them to know that I am successful because you taught me to do my passion and it was through you that I found just that in books.
–for tolerating my football commentating so you could “see” the game but heck, that Auburn-Northwestern bowl game with its wild finish was so worth it. I’ll never forget sharing that with you.
I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to say all these things and more.
I miss you already. Rest in Peace
Love Kristin
STATUS: A little bit of glass is peeking through. Hey, I do have a desk under all that mail.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? SPIRAL by John Coltrane
Welcome back! I swear. That holiday break is never quite long enough. I could happily go another week of just lounging around, doing some post-holiday shopping sales, and reading just for fun.
I’ve returned from the holidays to a desk that is completely obscured by piles of mail. I’ve been working on that most of today and I’m only halfway through the stacks.
I’ve also returned to see 360 emails in my inbox—and this is my email inbox—not our general query emailbox. Yikes.
Speaking of, we did the holiday autoreply for the whole time we were on break and all queries were deleted. If you want to query us, now is the time to send it—although I would recommend holding off until next week. Invariably on our first day back, we get several hundred queries in one day as everyone resends who got the autoreply. By next week, we should be caught back up.
And speaking of queries, just a little rant to start the new year. I’m thinking that if you sent us a query between Dec. 18 and Jan. 4 and you began your query with the words “I’m an avid reader of your blog,” it was definitely non-effective. After all, if you were an avid reader of the blog, you would have known that we were closed and not accepting queries until January. Something to keep in mind for next year…
Hope y’all had a great holiday. Here’s to a new year of good ranting.
STATUS: At 5 pm today, we are officially closed until Monday, January 4, 2010.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? CAROL OF THE BELLS by Mannheim Steamroller
What a crazy wrap up to the year! I won’t be blogging again until the New Year, but then I’ll be back and in rare ranting form! Here are the stats for 2009:
15
books sold
53
foreign rights deals done (and that includes several overseas auctions)
I had to update as we did 3 more foreign deals late on Friday!
6
number of new clients (Kristin & Sara combined)
38,000
estimated number of queries read and responded to (and yes, that is up from last year)
55
full manuscripts requested (down from last year)
7
number of projects currently on submission
3
major motion picture deals
15
new deals for previously published clients
1.3 million
number of copies in print for my bestselling series this year
340,000
number of copies in print for my bestselling debut this year
102,000
number of copies in print for my bestselling sleeper hit
6
conferences attended (also includes BEA and London Book Fair)
3
number of New York Times Bestsellers
1
Number of books named to Publisher’s Weekly list of top books of the year
75
number of physical holiday cards sent
375
Number of electronic holiday cards sent
6+
number of Starbucks eggnog chai consumed in the last week
Lots
number of late nights reading on the couch with Chutney
All
number of great days loving my job
Have a safe and happy New Year. I’m out!
STATUS: You don’t even want to know how many eggnog chais I’ve had this week.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? CAN’T WRAP THIS by MTV video
Richard Curtis says the unmentionable. Where would publishers be if agents split off electronic rights away from the print rights sold to publishers? Amazon did just fly out a bunch of agents to corporate headquarters and no one there is talking on or off the record about that discussion. Now before you get too excited, the likelihood of this possibility for a debut or midlist author is slim—for now. But I know Richard is preaching to my choir…
And even though it’s not Friday, this video cracked me up so much I had to share it ASAP. Enjoy.
And now back to some Q&A so I can get my nose back to the grindstone.
Peggy Asked:
What do you think of sites like Authonomy.com from Harper Collins (where authors can upload chapters of their books in hopes of getting discovered)? Do would-be authors take any risks uploading to a site like this? Do you think their books are any more/less likely to get a traditional publishing contract if sections of their works have been posted on a site like this? I know how you feel about vanity publishers, but I’d like to get an agent’s take on forums/sharing spaces like Authonomy or even Deviant Art and other such websites.
I personally don’t have a problem with writers participating in Authonomy (sorry don’t know much about Deviant Art so can’t really comment on that at the moment) but in general, I do think a manuscript that’s good enough to get attention through Authonomy will probably be good enough to get notice from agents.
Authonomy looks a little different from the Penguin sponsored contest via Amazon Breakthrough Novel where the winner of that contest is pretty much stuck with the boilerplate Penguin contract (which trust me, is not in a writer’s favor). It looks like at Authonomy, writers can still negotiate if HarperCollins shows interest and maybe even get an agent on board for that discussion. I don’t see a downside. I wouldn’t post my entire work there but chapters are fine.
It’s actually kind of smart. HarperCollins is using the general readership to read through the slush pile and vote for the works that are worth their looking at as, according to the site, the editors look at the most popular entries.
Anonymous asked:
Hi! My question is this: Do you see spies being a popular trend in YA? Also, should we quit on the vampire stuff for awhile and write more classic fantasy? Which do you think would sell better at the moment?
I’m the agent for the very popular New York Times bestselling Gallagher Girl series. I’m thinking I might have a biased opinion on whether I think spies are a popular trend in YA. Grin.
As for your other questions about whether to quit on the vampire stuff and write classic fantasy, I really can’t answer that without having looked at your work. Perhaps you are a stronger writer in classic fantasy than in urban fantasy. If that’s the case, you have your answer. However, if your vampire take is wholly original, then it can probably still work. As to what will sell better at the moment is wholly dependent on how good the manuscript is.
Anonymous asked:
My question is: can we send our queries to you before the 18th or should we wait until the New Year? Since you guys are in a crunch, I don’t know if that’ll affect how you read the queries…like if you’re rushing to get everything done, would you be a bit more impatient while reading a query sent to you in the next few days? Just wanna know…
We are reading all queries up to 5 pm on Friday. Dec. 18. After that, all incoming queries will get the auto-reply that we are closed until Jan. 4, 2010.
I find that if you really want a certain agent to rep you, this time of year is not the time to be querying (although I know a lot of writers have great stories about landing their agent during this holiday time).
For me, I just need the break. I really do. We are always behind in terms of reading and replying to queries. We live constantly with the thought that there is more work then we can really keep up with. It makes such a difference to believe that we are caught up for 3 weeks—even if it’s an illusion. I know some agents are still reading (Nathan mentioned he would be as he’s afraid to lose out on something good) but I don’t care if I miss out on something great. This is for my mental health and renewal. Smile.
If I were you, I would wait until Jan. 4 and then send away. We’ll be rejuvenated and excited to get back into the game. January is probably THE best time to query us.
Dreamstate asked:
What to do about those dreaded “Didn’t love it enough” rejections? Should the writer response be persistence, querying with the belief that someone will love it enough. Or after 3 or 4 such responses, should the writer be looking at revising, albeit in the absence of any guidance from said rejections? I would be so grateful for any words of wisdom from you!
Only 3 or 4 responses! Surely you jest. I wouldn’t worry until you’ve gotten at least 20 rejections on your sample pages. When you’ve hit that, then you might want to think about revising, working with your critique group, making it stronger, and following any feedback you might be receiving. Once that is done, go out full bore with it again. If you are still getting 20 to 30 “didn’t love it enough,” then you might revise again or keep trying. I wouldn’t be giving up on those sample pages until you have 200+ rejections.
Anonymous asked:
My question is, since you and Sara both have the same email address to send queries to, should I address my query to both of you? Or just pick one? (both of you rep what I write, YA)
You can address to both us of or if you think it would work specifically better to one of us versus the other, then you can address directly. Hope that helps!
