Pub Rants

Author Archive

The Danger of Honesty

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Ready for sleep.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? FERNANDO by Abba

The other day I was reading a full manuscript that I had requested. I had read a good 100 to 150 pages and I knew I wasn’t going to take on the project. Now, whenever I read a full (or in this case, part of a full), I always create a personal letter to the author in reply.

The difficulty for this one is that I really weighed how honest I should be in the letter for why I was passing.

Now I imagine that most of you would say, “why did you hesitate! Be honest!” But here is the difficulty on why agents sometimes pull back on the big H.

1. When I’m reading, it’s often clear why it’s not right for me but I can often see why it might be right for somebody else with a different perspective or taste. So, is there a point to my being honest on why I personally am passing when I can see a potential value in the manuscript? Is that simply being discouraging rather than helpful?

Now, most times I will take the time to try and articulate why I’m passing while also including a caveat that it might be right for someone else. Sometimes that feels like a cop-out.

2. When I’m reading, it’s often not clear why a manuscript isn’t working for me. It just isn’t. Usually if I talk aloud to Sara about why I’m passing, I’ll often pinpoint the issue and then I’m able to articulate it in a letter to the author. Lots of times I’m flummoxed as to the “why” and then gosh darn, I’ve got to figure out something to say in the personal letter. That’s usually when I resort to the “I just didn’t fall in love” bit—which I know writers hate but seriously, I’m not trying to be obtuse. Sometimes I really don’t know why something isn’t working for me.

3. When the day is hectic and a contract is screaming to be finished and I’m behind on queries (and writers want a response—any at all) and fires are erupting, it’s truly hard to take the time to sit down and personalize a letter. I always do it but you writers should know that a personal letter can easily take 20 to 30 minutes to write. When you are working 12+ hour days, that 20 minutes is a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I’m ashamed to admit that I sometimes long for that “standard” letter that I can send out.

4. Personal letters are hard to write. And here’s the thing I hate the most. I’m a perfectionist but sometimes there is not enough time to proofread and yes, I’ve had egg on my face when I’ve reread an email letter I’ve sent out and there on the electronic page is a glaring typo. Oy! I took the time to personalize and then I look like an idiot on top of it. The writer is probably glad I passed on offering representation! Nothing worse than working in the biz and sending out a hurried, grammatically incorrect letter. Sigh. That also makes me long for the “standard” reply. That can at least be pre-checked.

5. This doesn’t happen too often but once in a great while I honestly can’t think of anything positive to say in a response letter for a full I’ve requested. What happened there? Obviously I read sample pages and liked it but there are times where I’ve thought, “what the heck was I thinking for requesting this one?” As I said, it rarely happens but when it does, boy is the honest, personal letter a struggle.

Probably not much comfort for you folks out there in the trenches but it’s the truth.

What’s In An Edit (After The Sale)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Total confession time. Yes, I’m addicted to nostalgia because I couldn’t resist going to the Duran Duran concert last night for their new album Red Carpet Massacre. Last time I saw this group was in 1984. Yep, twenty-four years ago when I was 16. Oh, how time flies. I have to say that the group as a whole aged fairly well. They even did Planet Earth and Girls on Film in concert. Those were the days…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? RIO by Duran Duran (duh)

Yesterday I talked about new clients and on agents editing manuscripts before going out on submission for the very first time. What about new projects by current clients who are previously published? Do agents edit those manuscripts as well?

The answer is both yes and no. For the most part, when a current client has sold that first book and has an editor, then I, as the agent, don’t usually work on the edit with the client for the next subsequent book. After all, that’s why they have an editor and I don’t want to interfere with the editorial process.

There are some exceptions to this though:

Exception 1: the author has an editor who isn’t editing and sending in the delivered book straight into copyediting (and yes, this has surprisingly happened). If an author doesn’t need much editing, then this can be a positive thing but for the most part, I have to say that most writers need a bit of editing and guidance before a project is ready for copy edits. So as the agent, I have worked with my authors to do the edit if this is happening.

Exception 2: if this is an author’s sophomore attempt, I will sometimes read and work on an edit with the author before their editor sees the manuscript for the very first time. This way we can avoid the sophomore disaster that often happens when an author has spent several years writing the first novel and then has to write the second on a deadline under a year or 8 months or whatever. It’s hard to imagine this is a different process but it is. Editors often complain of the messes they have to clean up when the second (sophomore) contracted book is delivered. If I can help to avoid that, then we’ll do it because I want my author to look great.

(If my client has a strong relationship with his or her editor and I know the editor likes things done a certain way, then I stay out of it—even for the sophomore effort. It’s the editor’s job to edit and there’s nothing worse for an editor than having an author who is getting conflicting opinions on the edit from the agent. My job is not to make the editor’s life more difficult on this aspect—on other things yes, but not on the edit. Now if the author is convinced the editor is wrong about the editorial direction, then I’ll be jumping in but as you can see, it all depends on the situation.)

Exception 3: If a current client published in one field with one editor is looking to do something else in another genre or in YA (if they write for the adult market), then yes, I’m usually reading and editing that project.

Exception 4: If a current author client wants feedback on a new idea or proposal and they’ve put together sample chapters, then I’ll often read and give some feedback for revision before the editor sees it. This doesn’t always happen though. It depends on how strong the client’s relationship is with his/her editor.

As you can see, there are just as many ways to edit as there are to agent and how involved the agent is in the editorial process varies greatly! It all depends on the situation.

What’s In An Edit (Manuscript before Submission)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Today was about working out the glitches in the new software. But I think we are finally done with that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? CHICKENMAN by Indigo Girls

This weekend I was working on editing for current clients. I know this has been a question that I’ve received a couple of times at conferences. Do all agents edit their client manuscripts and how does that work?

Well, I can’t speak to all agents but this is how it works at my agency. This answer has several components and I actually only have time to handle one aspect of it in today’s entry. Tomorrow I’ll try and go into a bit more depth.

Let’s say I take on a brand new client who has never been published. When I read their full manuscript that I’ve offered representation for, I will usually do an edit with the client before it goes on submission.

Sometimes the manuscript is in great shape and just needs a few tweaks here and there. Sometimes it needs a bit more work (in plot or character—never in voice or in the quality of the writing) and I have that revision conversation while I’m offering representation so the client can have a good idea of what might be involved if they sign with me.

Seems only fair to know the scope…

Now, there are different approaches to editing as well. I have to be honest and say I’m not much of a line editor. I’m more of a big picture kind of gal, and I concentrate my edits on fixing plot issues, building character development, or just forcing the author to dig deeper into the writing and pull out all the stops their talent allows.

I do all my editing electronically in track changes in Word, so the manuscript can be sent by email. I add my comments directly into the scenes so the author can know and understand what I was thinking the moment I thought a revision point needed to be done.

Now, it’s always the author’s call if my editorial note is on target or not. I’ve been told that I will often highlight the problem but not necessarily the best solution and the author comes up with a better way to handle whatever I’ve pointed out.

And that’s just fine with me. It is the author’s work after all and he/she will always have final say.

I also edit obvious grammar and punctuation issues.

Popcorn Motivator

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’m excited because we finally got rid of Outlook for email and our firmly Time & Chaos (Intellect) users now. The transition took most of yesterday so sorry for not blogging. We wanted to be ready for Friday.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? SILVER WHEELS by Heart

This is also a heads up that although we think we transferred everything over correctly, it’s never 100% seamless.

I’m also three weeks behind on reading the queries I need to review so don’t email us quite yet to follow up. I plan to tackle stuff over the weekend and into next week so if you haven’t heard from us yet, wait one more week and then maybe requery as an email or two might have gone astray.

This may sound odd but I actually look forward to reading queries because that’s when I allow myself to have a nice big bowl of popcorn while reading. Popcorn being one of my favorite foods. (I sometimes do this for reading sample pages as well.) When I’m editing, I need both hands to type so alas, no popcorn. When I’m just reading, buttery fingers and the kernel Chutney accidentally dropped in my lap doesn’t make a difference.

Who would have thought that popcorn could be such a great agent motivator?

So this is what I’ll be looking for in the queries I read. Since I’ve been blogging about using the plot catalyst to form your pitch, I’ll really be leaning toward letters that will grab my attention right away. I think I have 150 queries waiting for my attention. This will probably take me about 2.5 hours to read through.

So basically I’ll be reading fast—which makes it extra important to nail that pitch paragraph.

What’s In A Pseudonym?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It’s going to be a work weekend. I can already tell. I just don’t like to make clients way for too long for feedback and I’m just behind. I need to rectify that and a good solid work weekend ought to do it.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? TALK TALK by Talk Talk

So you want a pseudonym. Then all I say is choose wisely and maybe keep a few things in mind.

1. Pick a name that means something to you. For this reason, a lot of authors will often choose a family surname or a maiden name etc. Then google it. If it’s too common, you might have trouble reserving the url etc.

Also, you don’t want a name that’s also going to pull up the best porn sites on the web or something equally as unpleasant. You laugh but there it is. When I google my name, I get mostly references to myself, an actress and painter, and an athlete. Not bad company…

2. If you are going to create a name, make it one that is easy to recall or memorable in some way that’s interesting or ethnic (if that’s your background), etc.

3. Here’s a thought. Maybe check out a bookstore and the shelves in your genre. Who will you be sitting next to? Heck, if you can grab the casual buyer, it might be worth choosing a name that will give you excellent shelf position. Mercenary I know but it’s something to think about.

4. At the Borders’ computer, how many names will pop up in an author search when you plug in your pseudonym?

I’m probably missing a few good tips so if they come to mind, feel free to share.

Building The Pitch Paragraph (Part Five Redux—INTERPRETATION OF MURDER)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Ready for sleep.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? SHAPE OF MY HEART by Sting

It’s obvious to me that you guys have got this down. If you look in the comments section, everyone got the catalyst right off—Freud arriving on American soil at the same time as one rather gruesome murder and another attempted murder.

You also got that the Publisher was playing off of what they assume the general reading audience would already know about Freud.

Not to mention the “Sherlock Holmes” type set up in the language of the blurb sends some clear signals about what the reader can expect. Hence, the short and pithy pitch. In the Publisher’s mind, no extra details were needed to hook the reader (and some of you might disagree with that) but for the most part, it’s going to be effective.

By the way, the pitch used all plot details to build the paragraph. There are hints of character because of what we know in our heads about Freud but the reader is bringing that to the pitch. Character-building itself is not actually present; it’s all plot details.

My work is done here. Go forth and write awesome pitches for your novels.

I do have some more examples culled from that previous comment string but I’ll just intersperse them in here and there in future blog entries for the next couple of weeks. It just gets boring after awhile to do too many in a row.

Building The Pitch Paragraph (Part Five—INTERPRETATION OF MURDER)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Why am I blogging at 10 p.m. at night? Because I’m nuts, that’s why!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER by Queen

Now I find it interesting that back cover copy is often hard to find on both Amazon.com and B&N.com. The sites will often list reviews, personal commentary, even a bit of a synopsis but the back cover copy is often missing. In fact, sometimes you can’t find it unless you use the Search Inside feature so you can see flap copy or the like.

Considering how much time is spent on the pitch—by aspiring writers, by the agent when it comes time to sell it, by the editor who is pitching it to ed. board and then to sales reps at Sales Conference, and then reps to the booksellers, both these online sites almost eschew using the copy…

What am I saying? I don’t know. It’s too late to really analyze what I’m saying but it’s interesting to note.

And today’s entry was a must in light of the terrific news I get to share. My author Hank Phillippi Ryan has won the 2007 Agatha for best first book for her debut mystery/women’s fiction hybrid PRIME TIME.


How cool is that? Out of all the mysteries published last year, only four were nominated and she won. And in even cooler news, MIRA is going to rerelease this title, plus the second book and two other new books in the series for some Summer 2009 back-to-back fun.

So this leads me into an example for a genre that I don’t really represent but I have to say that if I had gotten a query letter with this kind of pitch blurb, I would have said to heck with what I rep, this sounds like something I want to see.


The Interpretation of Murder by Jed Rubenfeld

On the morning after Sigmund Freud arrives in New York on his first – and only- visit to the United States, a stunning debutante is found bound and strangled in her penthouse apartment, high above Broadway. The following night, another beautiful heiress, Nora Acton, is discovered tied to a chandelier in her parents’ home, viciously wounded and unable to speak or to recall her ordeal. Soon Freud and his American disciple, Stratham Younger, are enlisted to help Miss Acton recover her memory, and to piece together the killer’s identity. It is a riddle that will test their skills to the limit, and lead them on a thrilling journey – into the darkest places of the city, and of the human mind.

Okay, you know the drill. Find the plot catalyst. Then analyze what is used to build the pitch paragraph.

There is certainly an economy of words with this example. Four sentences total. Hit me with it and then tomorrow we can talk about it. Does it work? Why?

We could also talk about whether it doesn’t but for me, that’s not really all that important. If it doesn’t work for you, then you won’t be picking up this book nor if you were an agent, would it be up your alley either. This biz is all about personal opinion after all. Not much to learn from that. However, the publisher believed this short, and to-the-point copy would work. It’s up to us to try and figure out why as we demystify the pitch.

Building The Pitch Paragraph (Part Four Redux–INK EXCHANGE)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF and I’m totally rockin.” I finished a requested changes letter for one contract and I’m tackling another. I might be out of here before 6 tonight!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? TIDE IS HIGH by Blondie

Okay, you guys are going to hate me for pointing this out but it’s true. Those who commented had different opinions on the effectiveness of the cover copy used for INK EXCHANGE.

Some thought it would make you pick up the book. Others thought that it was too vague and general.

Yep, you’re starting to think like agents. This is why the biz is so subjective. This is why your query pitch will often work for one agent and not another. We all have different opinions and tastes.

Still, trying to make your query pitch read like the back cover copy of the book is worth doing. Why? Because the cleaner and sharper it sounds, the better chances you’ll have to win an agent’s attention—because we are used to reading back cover copy. The rhythm, the strategy, it speaks to us.

So no, even if you totally rework your query pitch to read like back cover copy that doesn’t mean it will be effective 100% of the time because what agents like individually will vary.

But I guarantee that agents will probably read the pitch twice and hesitate over it. I can’t prove it but I think if copy reads well, that alone gets our attention. Even if the storyline doesn’t float our boat per se.

Plot Catalyst
You guys did a great job on this cover copy. All of you spotted the catalyst right away: Leslie getting the tattoo sets the stage for the rest of the story to unfold. I’m willing to bet this occurs in the first 30 pages of the novel, but I haven’t read this book yet so I don’t know for sure. If anyone has seen an early copy, feel free to verify whether that is true or not.

Supporting Detail to Hone the Pitch
This is a combo of back-story (for paragraph 1) and character development with a little hint of other plot elements (paragraph 2). So all three were used.

Paragraph 1 is all back-story. Chances are good the copy editor chose this as INK EXCHANGE is a sequel to a previously published book. We need a sense of what happened in book 1 to orient us for this novel.

Paragraph 2 starts with character element. We get a sense of Leslie’s need for something different in her life. In fact, we think she might be desperate for that change. The last two sentences of that paragraph highlight some other plots elements that are going to be crucial to the story. She’s going to be bound with Irial and drawn in to the faery world.

Since he’s on the dark side (nod to paragraph 1 for that info about his ruling the “dark” court), we can make some assumptions. Words like “sinister” help with this. This bonding, this being drawn in could have dire consequences.

Now, several of you complained that it was too vague. Not enough details. Remember, you only have so much space on a back cover copy. You also might not want to give too much of the surprise, twist, or the storyline away.

Your pitch is just a teaser. Although there is room for a bit more detail, it may or may not always be necessary. And opinions will always vary from person to person.

You can’t worry about that (otherwise that would drive you crazy). Just worry about making the pitch paragraph as enticing as possible using the methods we are outlining here.

Building The Pitch Paragraph (Part Four–INK EXCHANGE)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Oh it’s late one tonight! I did two long phone conferences today and was determined to finish a contract. I didn’t leave the office until after 7 pm.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? TAKE ME I’M YOURS by Squeeze

Consequently, I didn’t get a chance to read through the list of fabulous suggestions you guys posted for me. I will; I promise. For tonight, I literally just grabbed the first example in the comments section.

This has the added benefit of being the back cover copy for a work represented by an agent friend, Rachel Vater at Folio Literary Management.

And since we are taking about friends, I just found out that another agent friend Janet Reid (and yes, I do know everyone in the biz—just kidding), is doing query letter critiques at a new blog site called Query Shark. Serendipity so go check it out.

And I just discovered that a writer I was contemplating taking on but had mixed feelings about just signed with another agent friend and although it may sound strange, I’m thrilled to see an obviously talented writer with my friend. Writers often think that agents are in cutthroat competition with each other and yes, there are a select number of agents out there who think and operate that way but for the most part, we can be sincerely glad for each other.

But back to Rachel’s author Melissa Marr and just released INK EXCHANGE.

Here’s the cover.

Here’s the copy:

Unbeknownst to mortals, a power struggle is unfolding in a world of shadows and danger. After centuries of stability, the balance among the Faery Courts has altered, and Irial, the ruler of the Dark Court, is battling to hold his rebellious and newly vulnerable fey together. If he fails, bloodshed and brutality will follow.

Seventeen-year-old Leslie knows nothing of faeries or their intrigues. When she is attracted to an eerily beautiful tattoo of eyes and wings, all she knows is she has to have it, convinced it is a tangible symbol of changes she desperately craves for her own life. The tattoo does bring changes- not the kind Leslie has dreamed of, but sinister, compelling changes that are more than symbolic. Those changes will bind Leslie and Irial together, drawing Leslie deeper and deeper into the faery world, unable to resist its allures, and helpless to withstand its perils…

Step One: Find the plot Catalyst
Okay, tonight I’m not going do it for you. I want to see the plot catalyst mentioned in the comment section. Tomorrow I’ll take you through the copy.

How are you going to learn if I do all the work for you?

Big smile here.

Step Two: Identify what method is being used in the cover copy?
* Back story?
* Other plot elements?
* Character?
* Combo?

Step Three: Analyze the copy as a whole.
How many sentences is it. Take a look at each individual paragraph. What seemed effective and why?

You can also mention if something didn’t seem effective to you and why but I don’t think that is as instructional as trying to figure out why the publishing house chose this for the cover copy.

Building The Pitch Paragraph (Part Three)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Honestly I tried to do my tasks first but I had so many phone conferences, by the time I was done with them, the emails had piled up. I am making good headway on a contract right now though.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? THE HEINRICH MANEUVER by Interpol

Time for looking at Character elements in your pitch paragraph. So far none of my blog readers have offered back cover copy for me to analyze. I’m kind of surprised. I’d be happy to look at some copy for different genres and break it down for the reading audience.

That way I would tackle some genres not touched on even remotely so don’t hesitate to do that today.

But back to my presentation. I used Leslie Langtry’s GUNS WILL KEEP US TOGETHER as an example of a character-built pitch paragraph.


“Irreverent, witty and fun…a wild, adventurous ride!”
—New York Times Bestselling Author Katie MacAlister
on ’Scuse Me While I Kill this Guy

Dakota Bombay prided himself on his blond Bond image—bad-guy killer by day, lady-killer by night. Then his life gets both shaken and stirred by an irate grandmother demanding a marketing plan for the family assassination business, a precocious six-year-old son Dak never knew he had, and a mysterious redhead who’s erased his decades-old preference for blondes.

Suddenly the perennial playboy is knee deep in pie charts and thinking he may have found the perfect mom for his boy. She’s smart, funny, and directs a funeral home no less—what could be better? Now if he can just take out a team of rival assassins without getting killed himself, they can all live trigger-happily ever after.

Step One: Spot the plot catalyst
In this cover copy, it’s the grandmother and the unexpected arrival of a six-year-old son that’s going to push this story forward.

Step Two:
This cover copy is all about character. First we find out what Dakota is like—the blond Bond bad boy. That’s the image he’s always had. This establishes the character.

The second paragraph is a hint of what he’s going to have to become—a corporate business head and then a father which isn’t in keeping with the bad boy image. Not to mention there is a reference to the love interest (that will also be a departure for this character).

The last sentence wraps up in another plot element but for the most part, this pitch is all about character.

Now throw me some other examples and let’s take a look at them!