Pub Rants

Category: Agent Kristin

What’s In A Word?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Iffy. Today I managed to knock a whole glass of water on my keyboard. I ended up leaving the office early so as to work on my laptop and let it dry out. Guess who might be buying a new cordless keyboard tomorrow? We’ll see. Sometimes they dry out and work fine.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME by Jewel

Obviously a lot if you’ve been following the news lately regarding the controversy surrounding an anatomy vocabulary word in Susan Patron’s Newbery Medal winner THE HIGHER POWER OF LUCKY.

Never mind the bollocks! We have librarians!

Librarians who obviously think young minds cannot handle the term scrotum. Not a slang term or a crude reference, mind you, but the medically correct term for the pouch of skin that contains the testes.

Oops. Shouldn’t use a word like “testes” on this blog! That might sound too similar to testicle. Thank goodness I didn’t accidentally use the word nutsack instead.

Seriously, it’s this kind of ruckus that makes me shake my head in wonder.

(And don’t you love that word ruckus? I think I need to see more fun words like that in the sample pages I’m reading and use them in everyday situations. Today, despite Chutney’s loud protestations, I told her she couldn’t join the dog fracas at the park. Invariably she goes Napoleon on a big dog and it turns out silly. Fracas! What a lovely word.)

But I’m distracted. Tomorrow I plan to go out and support Susan in the best way possible. I’m going to buy her book. In fact, it sounds so good, I think I might buy several copies and send them to all the young people in my life because I have no problem with them knowing the vocabulary word of scrotum (and that it’s an unhappy moment if a snake bites a male puppy dog there.)

No Agent Answers Hotline

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Everything is in chaos because my agency is moving to larger office space starting this weekend. I’m carefully marking boxes that have the “must open immediately” important stuff like my contracts that are currently in process. Now half the boxes have the urgent pink label on it. Hum…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHITE FLAG by Dido

Just recently I’ve been receiving a rash of phone calls from writers who are calling because they want free advice about their publishing career. I don’t know why but this always surprises me. Do they think I’m going to actually return these calls? I’m nice but…

Now I realize that by writing my blog, I’m putting myself out there and that writers will often feel like they “know” me but I want to gently remind all readers that I’m not a personal consultant that a writer can just ring up and get a question answered. This isn’t the agent answers hotline (but heck, that’s a brilliant concept for an enterprising individual!).

I’m certainly committed to helping writers. Just know that the extent of my free advice is what I give via my blog and my eNewsletter.

Look! A Contest Without A Fee.

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Just when I think I’ve tamed technology… yes, there is an issue with the double opt in section of subscribing to the newsletter (you might be getting a system error message). We’re on it. It should be fixed by now but try again tomorrow and let me know via the blog comments if you are still having issues. Thanks y’all.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? MANIC MONDAY by The Bangles
(this just might be my theme song) Manic everyday.

I know, I know. I’m a little slow to ring the death knell of the Sobol Awards over here at the Pubrants blog. I was delighted of course and not in the least bit surprised. If you haven’t heard the news, the contest is no more.

Now what does surprise me is how much Simon & Schuster’s imprint Touchstone/Fireside desires to publish a winner of a contest. They’ve lined up another possibility but this time, there’s no fee! It’s open to any unpublished author with a full manuscript.

You post the first chapters and the world (a la American Idol style) gets to vote on which manuscripts make the cut and go on. Well, the world of gather.com subscribers that is. Final judging compliments of Carolyn K. Reidy, the president of the adult publishing group at S&S, and George Jones, chief executive of Borders.

Here’s the article in the book section of the NY Times.

Here’s the website for gather.com. You need to sign up (which is also free) to get more details.

But the winner gets a book contract from Touchstone and 5k from Gather.com (and no silliness about being repped by an “agency” that has never brokered a publishing deal).

Now that’s a contest I can support. Go check it out.

(heads up about the contest compliments of my client Mari Mancusi)

Book Snob Kryptonite

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It feels like it should be Friday already. The five day work week is so overrated.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? I’LL BE AROUND by Joan Osborne

I have an interesting book in my collection. An editor friend sent me CONFESSIONS OF AN HEIRESS by Paris Hilton last year or it might have been the year before last. I can’t remember.

I gobbled it up in one sitting. I found it hilarious and highly entertaining. And I’m no book snob, so I stuck it on my coffee table to share with the world.

Then an interesting thing started to occur. Friends would come over and instantly be horrified that I was so proudly displaying such a crass book.

But what I noticed is that these book snobs couldn’t keep their hands off of it. They just had to pick it up and start reading. Inevitably they would become engrossed in the book (as the evening continued around them).

Paris Hilton’s confessions was a book snob’s kryptonite!

Interestingly enough, I hear these same similar remarks about romance novels (“how can you read that stuff” etc.) and imagine the horror if any of those folks found out that a book they actually read and enjoyed would be considered romance (happens more than you think!).

What’s my point? None really, except maybe book snobbery is silly. Read what you enjoy and be proud of it.

A Little Education—The Fun Way!

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: What am I still doing at the office at 7 p.m. at night on a Friday? Yep, it was that kind of day. Just need to kick out this blog and I’m outta here.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? I WANNA BE A COWBOY by Boys Don’t Cry

My sister-in-law gave me a great gift for the holidays. Now some folks would think it’s dangerous to give an agent a book but my sis-in-law Melissa is pretty darn savvy. She knew just how to tickle my reading fancy.

She gave me a novel that spoofs the publishing industry.

Folks, it’s hilarious. I guffawed loudly many times—much to the dismay of my husband. Thinly disguised real publishing players (but of course, the whole story is fiction—wink). But I don’t post this to my blog just to highlight how entertaining this read is. I’m posting it because I think it’s worth reading if you are serious about writing and publishing because a writer can’t successful spoof unless she nails that core element of truth and boy does Ms. Grimes hit it with a hammer.

It’s a nice bit of education—and you’ll have a helluva good time while doing it.

Was That Requested Material?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I made quite a few editors excited with the submission I sent out today. Love that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? AND WHEN I DIE by Blood, Sweat, & Tears

I have to say that most of the writers I talk to and interact with are wonderful. They are interesting, engaging, ask smart questions, follow guidelines, and don’t waste an agent’s time.

I just had to chuckle when my agency received a full manuscript out of the blue via the mail two days ago. First off, we never ever ask for a full manuscript to be snail mailed to us. Ever. Even from day one of my agency, I’ve always allowed a writer to send it to me by email. It’s the only time I allow a submission via that medium. Mainly because I don’t ask for that many fulls (54 total last year if you read my statistics entry) and I can do an intense virus scan before allowing that sucker to download.

And as y’all know, even snail mailed paper submissions are a thing of the past here at the Nelson Agency. I’m launching the new electronic submission database this week. The first request emails are probably going out tomorrow. Now if something comes via snail mail, we’ll KNOW that it wasn’t requested.

But I highlight this simply as a gentle reminder that it doesn’t help you or pay to circumvent the system. We really don’t want to read your work unless we’ve asked for it via the query process. Most agents simply discard unrequested material—no response sent.

I know that sounds harsh but I’ve said it here numerous times and I’ll say it again, the sheer volume of what we receive (even when we have actually requested it) is so large, we haven’t got time for the unrequested stuff. And now for us, the unsolicited stuff will be pretty darn obvious and I’m warning you now, we plan to discard it.

It’s also a small test. Do you understand publishing, agenting, and how the submission process works? Can you follow directions, instructions, or guidelines? Even these annoying steps (and I know they are annoying because every agent has his/her own unique, jump through the silly hoops, guidelines) acts as a filter for those who are truly serious about writing and publishing. Only the really serious would take the time to learn the biz and navigate the submission process.

Right there that’s an indicator to us that you have the fortitude and fortitude is an essential quality to becoming a future client.

A Year in Statistics

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Sara and I are working like mad to finish everything up today. Tomorrow we close. By the way, I just saw fellow Backspace member Martha O’Connor comment about giving a donation to charity in the agent’s name. LOVE THAT. So add that to your agent gift-giving list.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHITE CHRISTMAS by Bing Crosby

20,800
(Estimated number of queries read and responded to in 2006)

54
(Number of full manuscripts requested and read)

8
(Number of new clients taken on this year)

21
(Number of books sold this year—not counting subsidiary rights stuff)

6
(Number of projects currently under submission)

2
(Number of auctions held)

1
(Number of pre-empts accepted)

16
(Number of months for the longest submission that ended in a great sale)

65,000+
(Number of copies in print for my best-selling title this year)

7
(Number of conferences attended)

54
(Number of editor meetings held)

200
(Number of Holiday Cards sent)

4
(Number of Starbucks eggnog chai beverages consumed in the last week)

Lots
(Number of late nights reading partials etc. on the couch with Chutney)

All
(Number of great days loving my job)

Are You The Key Master?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’ve been working late all week because I’m so behind on client reading. Sorry folks. This means I haven’t even looked at queries and partials for well over a week. No extra time.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? LEAST COMPLICATED by Indigo Girls

Well, I have serious doubts that the Sobol Awards is. I think Miss Snark clearly sums up my own issues with the whole “contest.” No need for me to re-summarize it here.

What’s most interesting to me, when reading the comments for this thread, is the implacable view of agents as gatekeepers.

Like we, as agents, are all sitting around plotting how not to let talented writers inside the publishing bastion and then delight in our ability to keep the “undeserving” out.

Hum… I can’t say I’ve ever thought of myself in this way. Most of the time, I just read submissions and I ask myself, “Do I like it? Do I not? Can I, personally, sell this?”

If the answer is yes, I take the person on. If the answer is no, I don’t.

There’s certainly no deeper subtext going on.

I also don’t like everything I find in the bookstore and I’ve certainly read published, wildly popular works or lauded works and thought, “this is crap; I can’t even imagine how this got published.”

Admit it! You readers have often thought the same.

No Gatekeeping conspiracy present since obviously a wide array of books (of varying quality) gets published. Besides, in a lot of genres I rep (such as romance and sf & f), editors often search for new talent sans agent involvement and lots of writers hook up with deals all on their own.

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

No, I don’t earn my 15% commission by gatekeeping. I earn my 15% by being a partner in my author clients’ careers.

And as I’ve said before, this job is so much more than just finding a project and selling it.

What the Sobol Contest implies is that there is nothing more to agenting than that. Some “winners” might be in for a rude awakening and let’s hope the “agent” at Sobol Literary will know better than to simply accept the Simon & Schuster contract boilerplate on the author’s behalf.

Egads.

The Contest That Just Wouldn’t Die

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I feel like popping the cork on a bottle of champagne! Did I do some huge deal today or something? Nope. I finished negotiating a contract that was four months in the making. Normally contracts don’t take nearly that amount of time. This contract had some special circumstances but it’s done. I’m so really to celebrate that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? LET’S STAY TOGETHER by Al Green

Yep. It’s all over the blogosphere. As much as we’ve tried, we just can’t kill the fee chargers that is the Sobol Award. There are at least a 1000 poor souls who paid up but obviously that wasn’t enough so the organizers in their beneficence (read: they didn’t get enough money first time around) extended the deadline from December of this year to March of 2007. Plenty of time to lighten the wallets of more unsuspecting writers.

I think POD-DY Mouth has the best take on it.

All I can say is that the contest creator Mr. Shomron must be some talker and Simon & Schuster deserves 50 lashes with a wet noodle for even getting involved.

Can’t Touch This!

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’m a little annoyed so I would like to say here, despite an anonymous poster on Thursday Nov. 30, 2006 suggesting that I am liar, I have never lied or exaggerated a posting on deal lunch. I think it’s important to set that record straight.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WINDSWEPT by Bryan Ferry

The Mahvelous ladies at Writer Beware have done it again. Victoria and Ann have taken down another scammer after years of unpaid, often times unthanked perseverance.

And the story rivals anything you’d see on CSI or Law And Order. Check out the play-by-play on their blog (here and here) and do me a favor, send them an e-card thanking them for all their hard work.

They make the world of publishing a better place and so often get little recognition for it. Let’s flood their email box with great electronic cards telling them how much we appreciate their efforts to keep the writing world safe.