Pub Rants

Category: Beginning writer mistakes

After 200 Webinar Pitch Critiques…

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: ! I think that exclamation point says it all.

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? ISN’T IT ROMANTIC by Rod Stewart

I can unequivocally give my blog readers the #1 culprit of why pitch paragraphs in adult or children’s SF&F query letters miss.

Drumroll please….

Convoluted plot that can’t be followed in the pitch paragraph.

Interestingly enough, in the presentation itself, I gave the missing plot catalyst as the# 1 reason for why we pass. Convoluted description of the plot was #3. I might have to revise that!

Post webinar, most participants got the concept of “inciting incident” or main plot catalyst pretty clearly; it was building the rest of the pitch paragraph that proved tough. I think everyone who submitted a pitch to be critiqued got a sense of just how hard it is to create a good one.

A bit of advice? Your pitch is not something you want to go it alone on. You need feedback and from a variety of sources. If you learn nothing else from that session, take that tidbit away with you.

And because I’m a nice person, I’m going to share my Top 10 list for blog reading edification.

KRISTIN’S TOP 10 LIST OF WHY ADULT AND CHILDREN’S SF&F QUERY LETTERS GET A REJECTION

Reason 10: Generic descriptors of the story

Reason 9: Overkill on World Building details and not enough about the story itself.

Reason 8: Explaining that unlike already published SF&F novels, your work has character development

Reason 7: Popular trends (such as Vampires, Werewolves, or Zombies) with no unique take clearly spelled out in pitch

Reason 6: No mention of or insight into the characters who will be driving the story

Reason 5: The manuscript is 250,000 words (or more!) and this is unpublished, debut author

Reason 4: The work is called SF&F but it sounds more like a mystery or thriller or something else.

Reason 3: Convoluted Plot that I can’t follow in the pitch paragraph

Reason 2: SF&F stereotypical archetypes as the “hook”
–the mysterious object
–the unexpected birthright
–the quest
–the villain that has risen again
–exiled to another planet
–mayhem on spaceship to new planet
–Androids with heart of gold
–The main character as the key to saving the world or species
–the just discovered talisman

Reason 1: No hook—or mention of a plot catalyst that is new or original in this genre

Track Changes Coming Back To Bite You?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Snowing in the high country. You know what that means. Ski season is upon us!

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? PENCIL THIN MUSTACHE by Jimmy Buffet

Given the dominance of PCs in the world, most writers are probably using Microsoft Word as their main word processing program.

Lately we’ve received a slew of sample page submissions that have all the writer’s revisions clearly outlined in track changes.

Oops.

Although interesting, we really don’t want to see your writing process.

Just a friendly reminder to make sure you submit a “clean” version. The way to do that is to go to Review, then accept (or reject as the case may be) all the changes in your manuscript. When all are cleared, a little window will pop up to say that there are no more changes or comments in the manuscript. Then it’s clean.

Then there is no way for someone to open up “final with mark up.”

Happy Writing!

White Noise

by Kristin Nelson

(Just a note, this post is from our archives. Some references and links may be from past years.)

STATUS: Last week was just tough. Battling being sick so just didn’t know when I’d be in the office or not. So not pleasant….

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE by Mat Kearney

When I was at the Rocky Mountain Writers Conference, I gave a couple of workshops. In my classes, I always give the daunting statistics on how many queries we get, how many sample pages we read, and how many authors we actually take on from what we read.

Yep, the icky stuff.

Then I tell them to cover their ears and say, “la, la, la I’m not listening” because what it boils down to is that these stats should be white noise to you aspiring writers. You can hear it, but it’s in the background. Know the stats so you have a keen understanding of the reality behind the business of publishing but then don’t let it stop you. .

If you love writing, if you are passionate about it as your dream, then you are going to write no matter what. Publication is one possible end result but whether that happens are not should not be the only determiner of why you write. You write because you have to. It’s like breathing. Absolutely necessary.

Besides, you never know when toughness and persistence will finally pay off so don’t lose sight of that!

Photo by KoolShooters from Pexels

Killer Openings

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Off to Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Conference at noon today.

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? LAID by James

And I actually don’t mean it in the sense that it’s so good, I couldn’t put the manuscript down. I mean the openings that are guaranteed to kill your manuscript within the first 10 pages for an agent reading it.

And trust me, we won’t keep reading to get to the “good part.” The opening is everything when you are trying to get an agent’s attention.

A terrible and disheartening statistic is that for 90% of the submissions we receive, we won’t read beyond 2 pages. (I know. Ouch.) We know that quickly whether a) a manuscript is ready for an agent’s attention or b) if it’s right for us. Anything well-written, we’ll read all 30 pages of the submission before deciding to request a full or not.

But back to Killer Openings:

1. Opening pages that are nothing but backstory and explaining.

2. Opening pages with scenes that only do one thing (like have action but no character development or any other components that are essential to strong writing).

3. Problems with sentence structure, misuse or overuse of description, and basic grammar snafus.

4. Prologues (or chapter one) that sets up a faux conflict to “hook” the reader but then has very little connection to the following chapter—in tone, in the characters that are then introduced, in plot that unfolds immediately in the next chapter.

I see number 4 over and over again and it’s always a neon sign beginning writer mistake. Even the tone and writing styles of these openings differ greatly from how the rest of the manuscript is written.

I’m sure there are other killer openings and when I stumble on them, I’m happy to blog about it.

More James music on iLike

Guaranteed To Give You A No

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It’s Thursday already?

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? ARTHUR’S THEME by Christopher Cross

About three weeks ago, the agency started receiving a series of calls from a local gentleman writer. Anita, being the lovely and generous person that she is, answered, gave information and lots of resources to help out the caller.

Evidently that wasn’t enough because this person proceeded to call us several times a week insisting that he had to talk to me. The first couple of calls Anita answered and calmly explained why she doesn’t forward inquiry calls to me and offered help in general terms. When he became belligerent with her, she stopped answering the phone when caller ID clearly showed who it was.

Then we received lots of voicemail messages. It definitely got my attention but not in any way that’s going to help this person’s writing career.

Then he decided to visit the agency in person.

Folks, let me just say that if you come to the office and try and browbeat my assistant, you will be dealing directly with me and you won’t like it. Even though I posit myself as a nice Midwesterner, you will see the Big B—up close and personal. No one treats my assistant that way.

And I’m sure this goes without saying but at that moment, there was no way this person could have pitched his book that would have induced me to look at it.

When It’s Not Really An Answer

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’m obviously not blogging in the morning…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BREAKEVEN by The Script

This is strange enough to blog about because it’s happen three times in the last 10 days.

Toughest part is that I know that most writers are going to say that this is not really an answer. And I’m going to have to agree.

So what am I talking about? I’ve read three sample pages recently that were well-written, had good story concepts, and the authors definitely understood craft. But (and isn’t there always a but?) I didn’t ask for a full because I honestly didn’t like the characters in the story enough to spend a whole novel with them.

And yes, I completely get that there is a world of literature out there with unsympathetic characters. In fact, that could be considered a literary tradition.

Yet, it’s too simple to say I’m passing on asking for a full SOLELY for that reason. I have read fiction where the main narrators weren’t wholly sympathetic and yet I found myself totally intrigued by the nuance of those characters and the stories to read the entire novel. My book club’s pick for last month, Lev Grossman’s THE MAGICIANS, comes to mind. I really enjoyed that one.

So there is a balance—that fine line between tough characters and a story that remains gripping despite that.

For a couple of these sample pages, that wasn’t the case—at least for me.

And I know that’s not really an answer but it was the only one I could honestly give.

Age Is Just A Number

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF! Getting ready for Book Expo the week after next.

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? QUESTION by Rhett Miller

Lately, we’ve been getting a lot of queries from young people—and we know this because these writers are highlighting their young age in the query letters they are sending us.

I have a couple of thoughts on this.

1. No matter how you spin it, highlighting an age in your query just doesn’t come across as professional. Here at the agency, we don’t care how hold you are; we only care about how talented a writer you might be. If you have a good query with an interesting novel, we’ll ask for pages whether you are 15 or 85.

In fact, just last year we offered representation to a 15-year old writer. Now I didn’t know that when I called to offer representation. It hadn’t been mentioned in any of her submitted materials. In fact, we had a great phone convo and she actually didn’t bring up the topic of her age until the very end of the phone conference. She brought it up because she needed to know how it would work since she was under the legal age of 18. The answer to that question, by the way, is nothing really changes except that her parent or guardian must co-sign the agency agreement and if the book sells, the publishing contract.

Ends up she had several agent offers of representation and went with another agency so we didn’t end up signing her. (Side note: Her YA novel did sell though as I saw the announcement on Deal Lunch.)

But my point here is that her age didn’t matter; I would have still signed her on as a client.

So this makes me speculate that young writers like to specify their tender years for a couple of possible reasons:

1. Maybe it will impress us that they’ve finished a novel so young?

I find it impressive that anyone finishes a novel quite frankly! And I’m only going to be impressed if I offer for rep and then discover that you have that much talent and you are only 15 because when I read the sample pages, I couldn’t tell.

2. Maybe we’ll go easier on them while reading the pages?

Nope. We don’t grant leniency because of age and cut you slack while reading your sample pages. You’re either ready or you’re not and that’s going to show on the page via a clear demonstration of writing mastery and talent.

And ultimately, I think your writing talent should speak for itself—regardless of your age. So my advice? Don’t mention it.

POV—Which Is Best?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I had a terrific day but can’t blog about why quite yet. So just know I’m in a great mood.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BROKEN HEARTED HOOVER FIXER SUCKER GUY by Glen Hansard

Life would be good if people would quit asking me impossible questions. *grin*

And yes, I’ve taken the admonishment to do my emoticons correctly.

So this is the situation. Last week we asked for a full manuscript from a partial we had read. The writer emailed to say he was contemplating a big revision shifting POV.

Did I think first person or third person would work best for the story?

My answer? Not the faintest idea.

For some genres, like romance, a first person POV is always a tough sell so in that case, I’d probably recommend third. But for this instant, the manuscript was young adult.

There have certainly been bestsellers in this genre in the first person POV and bestsellers in the third person POV. The real answer is what POV best fits the story and best illustrates the main characters.

If we need to be inside the main character’s head, then first person POV. If the story would benefit from being able to head hop (as you can do in third person), well, then there you have it. But honestly, I can’t read the first 30 pages of a submission and tell you which I think would work better. Perhaps if I saw both submission side-by-side I could make a judgment but it’s very unlikely I would go to that trouble (unless we were talking about a current client).

I heard, and I have no idea if it’s true or not, that Suzanne Collins did the HUNGER GAMES first 50 to 100 pages both ways before choosing the final direction. Makes sense that a writer would need to explore both before making a final decision but ultimately, it’s the writer who will know best what feels right for the story.

At least that’s how I see it.

In-Depth 30-Page Critique Once A Year

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I got one major contract off my desk and on to somebody else’s at the publishing house. Always a great feeling.

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN by U2

Yesterday I was explaining that agents don’t often have time to give detailed feedback because that would entail a critique of the manuscript and doing so is time-consuming.

Well, I should have clarified. Once a year, I always take the time to do exactly that for one lucky auction winner.

I read the 30 pages twice. First read to familiarize myself with the submission and the second read to actually write in-depth critique feedback in track changes of the Word doc. Just like I do for my clients when I read before submitting their material.

So if you want in on that action, it’s time to head over to Brenda Novak’s yearly auction to raise money for diabetes research. My critique page is here. Since I have a good friend plus a brother–in-law with diabetes, this auction is close to my heart.

Happy bidding!

And don’t forget to check out some other great items like a read/critique from Sara Megibow, lunch with Jamie Ford, and if you are a Nathan Bransford fan, he’s offering a critique with a follow up consultation.

Starting A Novel In The Wrong Place

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Just another manic Monday.

What’s playing on the XM or iPod right now? RED RIVER VALLEY by Frank Macchia and Tierney Sutton

This weekend was an interesting one for me. I read our slush pile for the first time in several years. Grin.

What do I mean by that? Well, I hired Sara Megibow more than four years ago and once she was fully trained, she read all incoming submissions to set aside the ones that I actually needed to review. In other words, I read only a third of all the actual submissions that came to the agency.

As we train Anita, somebody needs to read behind her to make sure she’s forwarding the right submissions on to Sara and to me. Anita will become the reader of all things while Sara and I can have a reduced workload. There isn’t enough time in the day for us to read ALL incoming submissions.

So this weekend I read eleven different sample page submissions and one salient point became very clear. There are decent writers out there who are totally starting their stories in the wrong place which can obscure what the novel is really about. If I’ve read 30 pages and it’s clear to me that we still haven’t gotten to the right beginning, it’s a pass.

So the biggest writing culprit writers need to watch for that will indicate a story starting in the wrong place?

Back story.

One submission had several scenes that weren’t really relevant to where the novel actually started—which was in chapter three (around page 27). The opening scenes were essentially back story—info the writer needs to know but the reader doesn’t. Back story needs to be integrated throughout the novel in a masterful way.

Second biggest culprit?

Minutiae.

In other words, the writer is overcompensating for the wrong beginning by including beginning scenes with too much detail about the characters and all the underlying tension of the relationships so all that is clear before the novel can “begin.” The details are certainly good to have but they are placed in scenes that don’t actually move the story forward. In other words, the only purpose of the scene is to introduce characters. Then by chapter three or four, suddenly we have the actual story.

I know this is happening when I read and think, not bad writing here but this author needs some judicious editing as I’m getting bogged down in details but the story isn’t actually moving forward with momentum and tension.

Writers who are actually ready for agent submission have mastered the art of seamlessly integrating back story and relevant character details into a plot that moves the story forward.
Those who haven’t are probably getting passes on sample pages and no requests for the full (although an agent might highlight there is decent writing on the page).

And I know what you are thinking. Why can’t agents just say this? Because it would take too much time to point it out and clearly illustrate it. That would be critiquing the manuscript which is too time-consuming.

Which is why I’m trying to use this blog entry to point this out. I know examples would help but I don’t have permission from submitters to use their work on this blog.

ps. Thanks for all the embed songs into blog tips. I’ll check out the sites and see what I can start using.