Pub Rants

STATUS: Packing. Must head out to the airport in 15 minutes.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? HANG ON TO YOUR LOVE—by Sade

I’m actually really excited about our Chick Lit workshop now. Last night, Shanna and I worked on tweaking the PowerPoint presentation. We really added some cool things so as to talk about the current market.

Chick Lit may not be the “hot” market at the moment but it’s not going anywhere either. It’s still worth talking about.

Looking forward to hanging out with Lucienne Diver from Spectrum and Nephele Tempest from the Knight Agency. We have a little mini-happy hour planned this afternoon.

My authors Shanna Swendson and Jana DeLeon will be at the conference. We’ve got dinner plans on Saturday night.

Mini-rant.

I was trying to open some partials today to put them in the queue and I just wanted to say here, you really don’t have to tape the heck out of the envelope.

I’m talking about tape across the seal and then tape up the sides as well—so much in fact I can’t even slide a letter opener in there. I end up opening the bottom instead of the top except that sometimes that’s taped too!

People who do this are the same ones who tape down every edge and corner when wrapping birthday gifts, aren’t they?

Stop. Please. I don’t want to take 2 minutes to open your envelope. A little tape is fine. One piece just to secure.

STATUS: Busy, busy. Closed a deal. Discussed a contract. Analyzed and sent out royalty statements. Getting ready to go out of town.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? TOWN CALLED MALICE—The Jam

Well this song takes me back to High School. I think that dates me. I always have great intentions of writing my blog first thing in the morning. Yep. Doesn’t happen.

It will tomorrow because I have to catch a plane so I’ll need to blog in a hurry.

Since I’m off to the Dreamin’ in Dallas conference, I thought I’d let you guys in on a little secret of how to win friends and influence agents while at a conference.

Seriously, if you plan to attend a conference and you want to make a good impression, especially on me, here’s how to do it.

First off, don’t be shy and do come up and say hello. Introduce yourself. Tell me you read my blog and deliver lots of compliments (joking on that later part). How will you meet me if you don’t come up and say hello? Tell me which one of my authors’ books you’ve read and why you loved it (and I’m serious about this one because that will impress me).

Remember that I’m a human being. Best place to say hello? In the hotel lounge or conference social cocktail parties where I’m feeling relaxed and probably have a glass of wine in hand. This means I’m in social mode.

Worst place to say hello? In the bathroom. Folks, I’m taking care of business. I don’t want to do anything else in that particular place.

Another good place to say hello? Right after I give my workshop. There I am. At your disposal to answer questions. That’s the trick. Ask a good question. Don’t pitch your novel.

Another bad place to say hello? Outside my hotel room. As I’m walking out the hotel front door to catch my plane.

Elevators are sometimes iffy. Depends on how you carry it off.

Here’s the secret. No agent wants to attend a conference and be pitched to—unless we are taking our pitch appointments and then it’s perfectly fine. Instead, what you need to be is your charming self. Be normal. Be interesting. Make conversation. Ask some good questions.

I promise you that if you are all these things, I will eventually ask you about your novel and whether it would be a good fit for me because you have impressed me as a person; therefore your writing might impress me as well. Or, what will happen is that in the normal unfolding of conversation, there will be an appropriate opportunity to mention your novel. It always happens if you are treating me like a human being that you want to meet and not an agent you want to pitch to.

I once was at an opening cocktail party of a conference. It had been a tough flight and I was a little frazzled. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxed opening session. Well, this one attendee basically stalked me through the cocktail party. When she saw I had a free moment, she pounced and immediately started pitching me—without even introducing herself first.

You know me. I’m unfailingly polite but I could feel my eyes glaze in about 30 seconds. I felt ambushed.

In desperation, I told her to send the first 30 pages by snail mail—just so I could end the conversation (even though I could tell the work wasn’t for me).

She said (and I kid you not), “but I must tell you about this part.”

And I have to say that I did channel Miss Snark for a moment and I said, “No, you really don’t. It sounds fine. Why don’t you just send me the first 30 pages.”

She replies, “No, I must.”

And then proceeded to talk at me for the next 10 minutes, explaining her novel in excruciating detail.

I was saved by an attentive attendee who gracefully interrupted her and whisked me away. We had a charming conversation and at the end, I said, “I don’t care what you write, please just send it to me.”

The power of charm and being yourself. That’s how you schmooze me.

STATUS: Too early in the morning to say but I’ve got a contract to tackle and I’m determined to finish this today. I’m also having lunch with estimable Bella Stander and if you haven’t checked out her website and blog, do.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? TWO STEP—Dave Matthews Band

I am in a ranting state of mind this morning. Invigorating.

Folks, agents blog anonymously for a reason. It’s so they can be blunt and honest. Completely so.

I don’t blog anonymously for a couple of reasons: 1) It’s fun to be recognized if folks like my blog, 2) I like to educate writers and if I’m in teaching mode, then it’s good that writers know who I am, and 3) The marketing aspect, duh. I’m sure most of you have already caught on to this racket of mine. My blog is a great marketing tool—for me, for my agency, for my authors.

Some altruism sure because I like helping writers but if I sell just one of my author’s books because of my blog… great.

Hope that wasn’t a surprise to any of you this morning.

But because I’m not anonymous, I do have to censor myself. I’m forthright but I can’t always be as forthcoming as Agent 007 or Miss Snark (and let me tell you, I read their blogs; they are indeed forthright and deliciously so).

So lately I’ve been receiving emails from various friends in the industry giving me the latest theory of who is Miss Snark. Here we go again. It’s human nature to want to reveal what is secret I guess. Think Deep Throat and Watergate.

I, myself, have actually been accused of being her. (Kristin laughs delightedly.)

Let me put that rumor to rest. Folks, I’m from Missouri. I’m too nice too to have that razor-sharp sardonic wit—although I often envy it and wish to channel her.

Besides, I don’t care to know who she is. I know she’s an agent. She’s too spot-on with her answers not to be.

Now I can tell you this is true. Her blog often states bluntly what many agents, including me, often think but keep to ourselves.

And for that, we are grateful to her and I for one would like her to continue.

Anonymously.

STATUS: Got a lot accomplished. Close to wrapping up a new deal. Got a work out on submission and worked on a contract. That’s productive let me tell you.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? YOU BELONG TO ME by Dean Martin

Every year I try and attend at least 2 or 3 writers conferences. Well, this year I had some huge brain fart and I agreed to three and then realized that I also needed to go to the RT Convention and then I got invited to another conference that was local and then…

In the end, I scheduled something like 6 conferences in four months. Not to mention my trips to New York—the first being in April. Not smart I’m telling you.

So even though I way over-committed myself and can already feel pangs of regret, I didn’t cancel any because I like attending conferences.

Why? For several reasons really.

I really enjoy educating writers. I wouldn’t blog if I didn’t feel that. When I attend conferences, I always request to give one of several workshops I’ve developed that I think attendees would find of value. It’s the teacher in me. Back in the early nineties, I taught college—English 101, 102, and literature. I sometimes miss the classroom and here’s an opportunity to exercise those rusty muscles.

Although I have to crack up about the workshop I’m giving with my author Shanna in Dallas this weekend. It’s the Hot Genre of Chick Lit. Well, a year ago when they were planning this conference and confirming workshops, you could still call it the hot genre because you could actually sell a chick lit novel. Not so much the case these days.

Harrumph. Here we are a year later and the title really should be the Hot Genre of Chick Lit that’s Now in the Toilet but I’ve already blogged about that.

Too late to change the workshop.

At the very least, I guess Shanna and I get to talk about why the market has shifted and what that means for established writers and those new authors trying to break in. Still, it makes me wonder if I should fiddle significantly with my power point presentation. I can tell that this workshop won’t be offered much in the near future—or until the market turns around anyway.

I also like attending conferences because I like to stay in touch with the people behind the writing. It’s so easy to sit in my office and say NO, NO, NO to query after query or 50 partials in a row and forget that this is a person’s dream. It’s my job, yes, and publishing is first and foremost a business, yes, but being an agent is often more than just a job. I mean, come on, how many jobs have dream fulfillment as part of the description.

Conferences are the human face to what can be a dehumanizing experience of trying to get published.

It’s a good reason for why writers should go as well.

STATUS: A little tired today. One big problem I had to handle that really zapped a lot of energy. Not feeling my perky self. Nothing that a nice glass of wine won’t handle though.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? NIGHTINGALE by Norah Jones

It’s Monday and you know what happens on Mondays. Angie, reader extraordinaire, visits the office and reads the partial inbox all day. Usually I read with her but didn’t have any time today. I did get to spend about an hour in the afternoon looking at some partials that she had passed on to me.

We always try to have some words of wisdom for writers after a day of reading the old inbox. Actually, I should say that Angie has some words of wisdom to share. She basically took me by the arm and said, “here’s your blog topic for today” and since she had that look in her eye, I must comply.

Today’s topic: avoid incorporating your back story via your character’s dialogue.

After reading several examples aloud to me, I have say I’m in agreement. It makes for uninspiring and tepid dialogue exchanges—and the kiss of death to the partial. Basically, when writers fall into this trap, they end up stating in the dialogue something the receiving character would already know. It ends up making no sense as to why the other character would say it in the first place. The only reason would be to create the back story for the reader.

Clumsy at best.

Made up example:

Character 1: I must find the elusive stone of magic (of death, of life, insert appropriate fantasy element here).

Character 2: Yes, my Queen, it is imperative we find it but you also need to remember to collect the six other crystals/stones/talismans for without it, you will not have the power of the XYZ and will be unable to rule your domain.

Hum… If character 1 is the Queen, wouldn’t she already know that she needs the other elements in order to have complete control and world domination? Why in the world would she need her attendant to tell her so? It’s obvious that this dialogue is for the reader’s sake (to incorporate the back story) and is in no way exploring the character, plot etc.

Aren’t you glad I don’t write dialogue for a living? I’m of course attempting (successfully or not—you tell me) to exaggerate the example so the point is clear.

Back story. Dialogue. Not a match made in heaven.

STATUS: Bursting with excitement! See blog entry below for details.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? FAST CAR by Tracy Chapman

Huge news going on at the Nelson Agency this morning. When I got back from the gym, my author Linnea Sinclair had called to tell me that her novel FINDERS KEEPERS was nominated for a RITA for Best First Book.

WOO HOO Linnea!

I can barely contain myself. As y’all know, my agency is young—only been around since 2002. To have an author nominated for a RITA, the top award in the realm of romance is a big, big deal.

And then the news gets even better if that’s possible.

Linnea calls me back an hour later to tell me that GABRIEL’S GHOST was also nominated for a RITA for Best Paranormal/Futuristic. (In case you’re missing it, Linnea writes kick-ass Science Fiction with romance).

WOO HOO again.

I feel like running out right now to buy a new dress for the RITA award ceremony at RWA in Atlanta.

Not only that, but both these titles were also nominated for a RIO award just this week (Reviewers International Organization).

And, just so we don’t scare any of the boys away, Linnea gets just as many emails from her science fiction male fans as from the female SF and romance-reading fans.

Time to celebrate!

STATUS: Contracts and more contracts. Also got translation rights money today. Love those foreign publishers who like buying my authors and publishing them in fun countries like Japan.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? WICHITA LINEMAN by Glen Campbell

As you can tell, my little ipod is eclectic. I just put it on random scramble and whatever song happens to be playing as I start this blog is what gets posted. It just went from Glen Campbell to Gloria Gaynor. Even I think that’s a little strange. Yesterday, I swear it was stuck on the Pietasters—my husband’s favorite band, after CAKE that is. Now Matchbox Twenty just popped on because I keep getting interrupted while writing this blog.

I may be laboring under a misconception so you guys will have to set me straight.

I always think of aspiring writers as in need of funds. Even though I know many writers with great, well-paid jobs (and potentially make more money than I do in a year), I just think of them in terms of being “writing poor”—as in they don’t have a lot of extra money in the budget to spend on postage, paper, ink cartridges etc. and the costs of doing writing as a business.

It’s expensive to mail off a full—which is why I always ask for those electronically.

So I can’t understand the number of FedEx overnight partials I receive. Truly, the number is staggering.

Folks, I don’t even send contracts and money to my clients FedEx overnight—the most expensive option they have. Why in the world would a writer expend that type of money to mail in a partial request?

Do you think I’m going to read it the next day? Unlikely. It’s going into the partial inbox pile and as y’all know, Angie is more than likely going to give it first look and she only comes in on Mondays.

What I’m saying is that there is no need to rush me these pages. Now, there is a big need for me to get through them a little faster, no doubt, but there is no need for speed in terms of it reaching me in the first place.

The United States Post Office does just fine. It will only take 3-4 days—regardless of where you live in this country if you send it regular mail. And if you are worried about status, you can ask and pay for delivery notification. Or, you could include a postcard that says “received on” and we’ll mail it. Of course I might be optimistic on that point. We do try and mail them promptly.

FedEx isn’t going away any time soon. There’s no need to keep them in shorts.

STATUS: Feeling upbeat. How can I not with Mary J on the stereo? I’m working on contracts, which is always labor intensive and detail-oriented. An editor also called to make an offer for one of my projects.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? FAMILY AFFAIR by Mary J. Blige

I’ve spent the last two days talking about the huge hug fest I’ve got going on with all my agent pals. You have to know there is a flipside—the nasty agents who don’t operate with impeccable integrity or a strong ethical code.

Agents are still a microcosm of the society at large, which means there are always a couple of bad apples in the bunch (and I’m not talking about scammers or faux agents. I’m talking about real agents who walk some very fine lines in their relationships with other agents).

It’s called agent poaching or in other words, agents who deliberately steal clients from other agents.

We agents all know who they are but I wonder if the general writing world at large has any idea.

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about authors who have become unhappy with their current representation and decide to make a change. That certainly happens often enough. The author independently has made the decision for the change.

No, I’m talking about the agents (and they all have solid reputations and good sales records) who deliberately target the clients that other agents have built to a high enough level to be poached. Then this poacher sidles up and promises the world. Promises such as “I can get you significantly more money than so-so has done for you” and “I can build you to the next level and so-so can’t” and “I can get you on the NYT list or USA Today.”

Sounds awfully good to the author. So what’s the problem?

Poachers can’t always deliver. Then they do one of two things: 1) drop the client faster than a bad hot potato when reality doesn’t match expectation (because the author’s career hadn’t built to that needed level yet and now they’ve just shot themselves in the foot) or worse yet, 2) start ignoring the client and the author ends up low on the totem pole with the new poacher agent whereas two months ago they were getting tons of attention and now, when expectations haven’t been met, are suddenly getting none.

If the Poacher does manage to fulfill the promises, then good. I guess both parties got what they needed. The stories you don’t hear are all the authors who left the poacher agent after getting burned.

I’m a big believer in world karma and what goes around comes around.

Publishing is a small world. If you’re an author listening to a poacher siren song, make sure you’re really not getting what you need from your current agent. Talk to him or her before making the leap.

Be sure to talk to the current clients at the poacher agency but also be willing to dig a little and talk to the former clients. You might be surprised at how revealing that can be.

But most of all, you need to be willing to pay the price if you are lured to another agency and it goes sour. There’s no going back to your former agent (who’s now looking like the world’s greatest agent)—although many have tried.

STATUS: Stir-crazy. It’s really cold here in Denver. Too cold to take Chutney out—even with her little fleece on. She just shivers non-stop. She’s dying to sit on my lap but the rule is, no lap sitting while I’m at my computer. She’s sending kind invitations for me to sit on the couch.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? GRAPEFRUIT—JUICY FRUIT by Jimmy Buffet

Isn’t the subject line for this rant a fun visual? Picture all the agents you know in a giant group hug. Okay, maybe not.

So, how do agents actually help each other? Let me count the ways.

1. Happy Hours. Whenever I’m at RWA or in New York, I tend to get together with a group of agents. We talk shop. No one in the world understands our job better than a fellow agent. Keeps us sane.

2. Blurb time. Many of us have well-known clients on our rosters. Nothing better than a little agent networking to get some good blurbs for a new writer.

3. Referrals. One of my agent friends sent me Linnea Sinclair. She loved her work but didn’t really have room on her list. She sent her to me and she’s one of my stars. How’s that for non-competitive?

4. Workshop and conference fun. Because I’ve got great agent friends in New York and California and Georgia and Washington, D.C. (you get the picture), we love to hang out. One way to do that is by attending conferences together and then having a great time doing a workshop. The attendees benefit from the collaboration as well. Agent Jeff Kleinman has a great workshop called BUY THIS BOOK and I’ve done that class with him twice. The participants love the synergy. I did a great workshop with Randi Murray and Cathy Fowler at the Surrey International conference last year. Randi and I handled the fiction aspects and Cathy tackled nonfiction. Talk about benefiting from the wisdom of three agents. Besides, they made me look good…

5. Query forwards. It doesn’t happen often but every once in a while I’ll get a query that I really like—usually for a nonfiction project. It’s not for me but I’ll forward the query on to my fellow agents. If it sounds right for them and they give me a positive heads up, I’ll respond to the original writer tell them to contact this agent and that I’ve already forwarded the email. Vice-versa. Some good hook-ups have happened this way.

6. Grapevine. Boy, we keep each other in the loop. I know the minute an editor is leaving a house or is looking to buy XYZ. It goes out on the wire lickety-split. Even the editors are sometimes amazed (how did you know I wanted a fun historical—or whatever it is they are looking for). I just say in a mysterious voice, “we agents have ways.”

7. Brainstorming. Sometimes a project just doesn’t sell and you’re at the bottom of the editor contact list barrel. My agent friends give me another barrel to try—maybe off-the-wall suggestions or an editor I don’t know personally. Suddenly, I’ve got a whole new avenue to explore. Occasionally, one of my clients will do something outside their normal realm and I still rep the project. My agent friends allow me to use their expertise by picking their brains.

8. Introductions. Agent friends have literally introduced me to their favorite editors—editors that I’ve never met before but they adore them and convince me to as well.

And the list goes on.

STATUS: Snowy, cold day in Denver. Perfect for getting a ton of work done.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? I FEEL POSSESSED by Crowded House

I had a lot of fun giving a talk at CU-Boulder on Saturday. I had a tough act to follow in Lynda Sandoval, another Denver native and terrific writer if you haven’t checked out her stuff. (And see, I don’t just talk about my own clients. Lynda is actually with Jenny Bent!)

And a perfect transition for today’s rant. One of the attendees at my talk asked a really interesting question, one I’ve never really been asked before. A gentleman asked me to discuss the competition between agents and how we handle it.

I think I babbled my answer because it really was an unexpected question and one that’s hard for me to answer because I don’t really see myself or my job as “in competition” against other agents. As y’all know, I have a lot of agent friends. In fact, I belong to two Yahoo chat loops where agents talk, share and support each other. One of which we humorously dubbed the Agent Cartel and we plan to give a workshop together (at least 10 of the agents in the group) at RWA in Atlanta.

Do we all rep the same stuff? For one loop, not really (but we’ll often forward projects on to the loop that sound interesting but don’t fit our lists). For the other, we do but I don’t think any of us feel like we are in competition with each other—although technically we might be vying for the same projects.

For the most part, I believe (and so do my agent friends) that there are a ton of good projects out there and it’s our job to go after and find them. You might even go so far to say that certain clients and projects are meant to be with certain agents (isn’t that a lovely thought?).

If there is a hot project and another agent gets to it first, well, I need to move faster next time.

When I’m vying for a client who has a couple of agent offers of representation on the table and I fear one of those other offers might be from an agent friend, I don’t ask who else is interested. I don’t want to know if I’m up against a friend. That way the best woman for that project will just win.

I will ask about the other agents involved after the fact and if it’s a girlfriend who has landed the desirable client, she has to buy me dinner the next time we are together!

Now, I’m sure y’all realize that not all agents think like this. Agents can be any and all different types of personalities. I’ve certainly met other agents who were outwardly nice but I did sense a paranoid edge–that they were sizing up the competition in order to best see how they could get a leg up. Needless to say, none of those agents are part of my circle of biz friends.