STATUS: Good so far… that can always change in a heartbeat. No movie-making today that I can tell.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN by REO Speedwagon
Oh boy. I have to say that it has been a REALLY long time since we received a query like this. Sara and I are totally shaking our heads in bemusement.
First off, this query was in Bookman Old Style 36 point font. I’m not kidding. Seriously, I appreciate the writer worrying about my potential eye strain but 36 is a bit much. All caps to boot.
Now I know the query process is hard and frustrating. I get that but writing queries like this isn’t going to open any doors.
This writer asked me if I were a real agent. Hum…Then the writer mentioned that a real agent could get a book deal for anyone and for any book. I didn’t realize that only “real” agents sold 100% of what they take on. By that definition I guess I’m not real (although I just pinched myself and I feel solid enough.)
But the hardest part about these types of queries is when the writers resort to threats. For this query, that writer informed us that he/she is about to be homeless and will be again if we don’t get a great book deal for him/her right now and if the writer dies, we’ll be at fault.
We respectfully declined to look at material. We did receive a response to our rejection email that announced that we handle only trash and idiots (which I’m sure is news to our clients).
That didn’t, however, change our minds about reviewing sample pages.