Pub Rants

Author Archive

Generic YA First POV

STATUS: Today was a non-day for work. My tech person came to boot up the new network so I pretty much had no access to the computer for most of the day. In good news, I did stand in line for an hour to early vote (and good news for the voting part—not the standing in line part). Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday, Nov. 7, 2006.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? HEY JEALOUSY by Gin Blossoms

I’ve been noticing something in the Teen Chick Lit submissions I’ve been receiving so I’m finally going to talk about it. It’s tough though because taste can be so subjective and what one agent dislikes, another agent loves.

Same with editors for that matter.

But I think there have been enough examples of late to merit a blog entry and this pretty much applies to what I call Teen Chick Lit, which, as many of you know, is mainly done in a young girl’s first person point-of-view.

Now don’t worry. I don’t think there is anything wrong with first pov; I like it just fine. What’s bothering me is what I’m calling a rash of generic first person narratives (despite good hooks or an original story line). The main narrator ends up sounding just like the main narrators of the 30 plus Teen Chick Lits I’ve read in the last 3 months. There’s no differentiating.

Now the tricky part. What’s generic for me? A couple of things.

1. A Valley-girlish type narrative voice

This is for lack of a better description. I don’t mean strict Valley Girl like, oh my gosh, from the 80s. I know YA writers are trying to capture that teen speak, slang, and quick dialogue so true to life. But what I’m seeing is this narrative voice and the absence of crucial things like character development. A narrator’s voice should be instrumental to showing character depth and complexity. Lately, it seems to be missing. Not to mention, not all teens speak that way. Surely we can have some variety. I have two teenage nieces and they don’t talk in this same rhythm that I seem to be seeing over and over in sample pages I’ve been reading.

2. A dialogue-heavy scenes

This in itself is not necessarily bad. Most YA novels tend to be pretty dialogue-oriented. It picks up the pace etc. I have a problem with it when scenes are dialogue-heavy to the exclusion of everything else, like setting the scene. I’m seeing this often.

3. Misconception that a good hook can carry average writing

Yes, a good hook in Teen chick lit goes a long way but I have to say that I’m an even harder judge when reading YA. I really want the writing to be top-notch, literary commercial, can hold up even on an adult level but has the right pace for YA.

It’s one of the reasons why I had not taken on a YA-only writer until just last week. I’m looking for something that can really hold its own in the market. It’s not generic in any way.

Whatever that means, right?

Author Comparison—Don’t Let It Backfire

STATUS: I’m feeling a little bummed. Everyone I know is going to be at World Fantasy in Austin this weekend and did I decide to go this year? Nope. Sigh. I went last year and loved it but the November timing just didn’t work for me. Next year…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY? by Van Morrison

I have to say that, in general, I really like when writers include in their queries what I call author comparables—which means a listing of a maybe two or three already published authors and their comparable books (as in same type of tone, same genre, same audience etc.)

It let’s me know that the writer has contemplated the market and where his or her book is going to sit on the shelves. Readers of these authors will also like what this new writer has to offer. It can be very savvy. It’s an instant context for the agent and hey, that never hurts.

But recently I got a query letter where the writer compared the work being pitched to Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. Now it’s fine to say it’s similar in theme or in the same vein but this writer took it a step further wanted to show how the two differ.

Now this in itself isn’t a bad idea but the writer is now moving into risky territory. Why? Because sometimes it’s hard to talk about what is unique about your book without implying that it might be lacking in Neil’s. (And to even imply that your book might be “better” than Neil’s is pretty ballsy.) Not to mention, the agent might be thinking, “Yep, I know how these two will differ in a big way because how many people in the world can write as well as Mr. Gaiman. Don’t even go there.”

It can backfire.

I actually don’t think that was the query writer’s intent so I didn’t “read” it that way but it takes really careful phrasing in the comparison paragraph to not have it come off that way.

Just heads up that if you are using this approach in your query, proceed with a little caution.

A Halloween Treat

STATUS: It’s not even 8 a.m. yet. What do you think my status is? Barely awake.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHAT IS LOVE? By Haddaway

Last week Ally Carter got an email and a picture from a fan and I just couldn’t resist.

Since I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU is her favorite book in the whole world, this fan is going as a Gallagher Girl for Halloween.

Liz to be exact.

She compares it to being way a head of the curve because come 2007, dressing as a Gallagher Girl is going to be so last year.

With her and her mother’s permission, here she is.

That’s just so darn cute; I need to pinch something!

And as an extra special treat, here are the hubby and I in some pics from Halloween past. (And if that is not enough to frighten you… I don’t know what will).

Happy Halloween!

Pub Horror Stories—Just In Time For Halloween

STATUS: I was a submission demon today. Two projects went out to many an excited editor. And I’ll know tomorrow whether I’ll be setting up an auction for a project already out and about.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? MOONLIGHT LADY by Julio Iglesias (man, that is one sexy voice)

I have to send you over to Rachel’s blog today. She literally summed up my last couple of weeks on the job (except she doesn’t have the fabulous Sara to help her but sounds like she could use a Sara-clone.) Are we living parallel lives?

And you know what’s even stranger? I, too, wear a size 6 ½ in footwear so we can literally walk in each other’s shoes.

Watch your closet Rachel! The Midnight Shoe Snatcher might be on the loose.

And the savvy Bella Stander is blogging about publicity horror stories on her blog—just in time for Halloween.

How perfect is that?

I wish I had a horror story of my own to share but besides the person calling and leaving a query pitch on the voicemail today (despite the fact the recording clearly says no phone queries), there’s nothing very horrific going on. I have no horror clients. I’m not even sure I have an editor horror story to share.

Wait I have one.

I once had to hang up on an editor because she was screaming so loud during a phone negotiation that I had to hold the phone a foot away from my ear. I interrupted and asked her to call back when she felt more able to discuss the terms and I hung up.

Hasn’t ever happened since because now I won’t submit to her. Problem solved!

And check the blog early tomorrow. You are in a for a super Halloween treat.

Boo!

Scammers That Scam Together…

STATUS: TGIF! The week ended way better than it started. I have one project that’s garnering lots of editor attention. Love that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? FASCINATION STREET by The Cure

Of course I had to go and research David Kuzminski’s cryptic comment in yesterday’s comment thread to click here if I wanted a good laugh.

But nothing prepared me for the sheer hilarity of scammers and fee-charging agents banding together to pretend they’re legitimate.

I even love their new organizational title: The International Independent Literary Association and yet not one of the agencies listed there is international. Perhaps they are just being optimistic for new members?

But my favorite part? The link that says Retainer Fee—To Pay or Not to Pay.

There they clearly spell out that it is a common misconception that reputable agents do not charge fees.

Eyebrow raise.

But it gets even better, they admit that reading and evaluation fees are still a big NO but retainer fees are the new black. After all, you’d expect to pay one when hiring an attorney, so why not for hiring an agent? In fact, according to them, this is now the case for literary agents.

News to me!

They even outright say that it’s okay as long as the retainer fee is for a reasonable amount.

Right. I’d like to know what constitutes a reasonable amount.

Folks. Repeat after me. Legitimate agents sell books to make money. To publishers who pay advances and royalties for the privilege.

They don’t charge money upfront (call it retainer, reading, submission, evaluation or whatever).

Why? Because if you actually sell books, you make money. There’s no need to charge fees.

And I also want you to go to the Association of Authors’s Representatives web page right now (of which I am a member). Give it a good look.

Now click on the Canon of Ethics. A set of ethical guidelines agents must adhere to in order to be a member.

See item 8? It clearly states that charging clients is subject to serious abuse that reflects adversely on our profession. Now, the problem is that the AAR only highlights fees for reading and evaluating literary works.

Scammers and pseudo-agents are manipulating language by now calling it a retainer. See it’s not really a reading or evaluation fee (even though we don’t seem to have a sales record), honest.

Folks. A fee is a fee is a fee is a fee.

From The Query Inbox

STATUS: I can finally hear out of my left ear! This may not sound amazing but try living without for a week. Anyone talking to me on my left side constantly got an annoying “what?” In other great news? That YA author decided to sign with me. Yea! Welcome aboard.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? SEVEN YEARS by Natalie Merchant

1. Here’s a query with a first sentence that highlights that the heroine loses everything because of addiction, betrayal, and loss of control.

And yet the heroine has a whip-smart comedic tone.

Can’t see how that’s going to be pulled off so it’s a NO.

2. A romantic suspense query. Woman in jeopardy plot outline. Very common so I’m looking for something that will make it stand out. Oops. Phrasing misfires and yes, they do stand out but I was thinking more along the lines of a hook.

We have a “malevolent machinations of an assailant” and “arresting passion that burgeons.”

I’m thinking “malevolent” and “burgeons” probably shouldn’t both be used in the same sentence.

3. A query for a novel that specifically targets the non-reading pre-teen and early teen boys. But it’s 100,000 words.

Eyebrow raise.

4. This writer describes the novel as a romance with historical, thriller, and fantasy elements. It has chick lit elements but is also highly literary.

Folks. No. You cannot label your work everything but the kitchen sink. If uncertain, commercial mainstream can work just fine.

5. In this query, the writer has created an alternate world sans cars as a setting for a romance.

I can’t tell why this story needs to be told in this alternate reality. It should somehow be central to the romance unfolding or why it is needed becomes the big question.

I also read two fantasy YA queries that I literally had to read twice because I couldn’t follow the convoluted plots that were outlined.

And normally, I wouldn’t read it twice (time constraints and all that) but it’s a little late, I was a little tired, and I thought maybe it was me.

Nope. On second reading, the two queries were just as unclear.

I know fantasy query pitches are often the most difficult to capture as you have to sum up the story and the world in a very short bit of space but don’t try to cram too much in. Confusion might be the result.

Happy querying!

Leap To Hardcover

STATUS: All this week I’ve been thinking I was being a weenie about my bad head cold. Finally went to the doc and I have a sinus infection and a double ear infection. I had a good reason to feel miserable!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? AFRICA by Toto

Earlier this year I sold an anthology conceived and edited by my fabulous author Jennifer O’Connell to be an original trade paperback and we got the fabulous news this week that Simon & Schuster is going to take it out in Hardcover.

And look as this marvelous cover. I love it so much I have a color copy taped to the wall right next to my computer screen so I can catch fun glimpses of it during the day.

I have to say Judy Blume was hugely instrumental in my own girlhood development. Goodness, I don’t think young girls were allowed entrance into womanhood without reading ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME MARGARET. Not to mention the thousand giggling conversations in the bathroom around the “naughty” FOREVER. I even had to hold a copy for some girlfriends so their mothers wouldn’t discover them with it (For the record, my own Mother never censored my reading material but I had many an embarrassing conversation where she insisted on going through every detail. So embarrassing then but thanks Mom!)

What your Mom wouldn’t or couldn’t tell you, Judy Blume had no problem sharing.

And the authors included in this collection want to honor her. Judy herself enjoyed every one of the essays included (of course we sent her a copy very early on).

But the purpose of this blog isn’t necessarily to highlight how fabulous this book is (wink) but to talk about why a publisher decides to take a book that was originally slotted to be a trade paperback into hardcover.

The answer is very simple. Overwhelming enthusiasm. In-house, at sales conference from sales reps, from conversations reps had with booksellers, and from the accounts when it was time to schedule the buy-ins.

Overwhelming enthusiasm.

The move to hardcover to break it out bigger!

24,000 Queries A Year

STATUS: I have a bad head cold, and I’m so ready for it to be over. Usually I read in the evenings but since I’ve been so tired, I’m asleep by 8 p.m.. Ah, the crazy, wild life of a literary agent.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHY DON’T YOU DO RIGHT? By Sinéad O’Connor

And I’m going to blame my bad cold for not being particularly clear in yesterday’s post. It sounded like I have several different form query rejection letters and it’s only for #4 that you get the “although your work sounds intriguing” line.

Nope. I don’t have five different form letters. We can’t. Time-wise it’s just not feasible in terms of responding to 500+ queries a week in a prompt fashion. We can’t expend extra time by toggling through five different letter versions in order to send out the “right” one for any particular query. You guys know this because you read it on every agent blog currently in existence. Our time is spent on current clients and for authors with projects who will actually become our clients. The volume is too overwhelming for anything else.

Think about it. 500 queries a week multiplied by approximately 48 weeks in a year is 24,000 queries.

And out of that, how many new clients does an agent take on?

For me, in a good year, I take on 4 or 5 new clients—and I’m actively looking. Really looking. Like attending conferences, reading lots of partials, and really making myself available to writers kind of looking.

So you can see that sifting through 24,000 queries for 5 clients isn’t overwhelmingly productive.

That means one letter for all queries period. I include the intriguing line because some of the queries we do receive really are intriguing and will totally float another agent’s boat. For the others that don’t really fit into #4, well, we think it’s polite to use that line because our goal isn’t to crush aspiring writers…

We literally don’t have time for anything else.

Although Your Work Sounds Intriguing…

STATUS: This Monday was crazy but productive. We had to play catch up from the power outage on Friday. I did call and offer representation to an author for her really awesome YA project. She has a couple of other agent’s interested so now I have to wait and see if she chooses me. Choose me!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BAD, BAD LEROY BROWN by Jim Croce

For those of you who love agent blogs, I’ve stumbled on a couple of more that might be worth a read.

The Rejecter is an anonymous blog from an assistant at an agency. Definitely somebody with a perspective from the query trenches.

The other is from, in their own words, “the opinionated folks” at the Dystel & Goderich Agency.

Might be worth checking out.

Now on to my rant. Agents take a lot of drubbing for their standard query rejection letters. We have to say something and as y’all know, I prefer to be polite.

So what does it mean when I say, in my form query rejection letter, “although your work sounds intriguing…”

In means exactly that. It very well might be intriguing but it’s not right for me. Queries fall into five basic categories:

1. The obvious NOs because the query is for genres we don’t represent or something similar.
2. The other obvious NOs for well-done queries for projects we don’t represent.
3. The NOs for queries for projects we do represent but the query itself is poorly written
4. the NOs for well-done queries for projects that could fit for my agency, are intriguing, but I would never pick up that book in a bookstore so it’s not right for me. I can totally see another agent digging it.

For the most part, it’s for the Queries of number 4 that we include the standard phrase of “although your work sounds intriguing…” because this biz is so subjective. It really might sound intriguing for another agent who will then ask for sample pages, maybe a full, and then go on to rep this writer. Commenters on this blog alone have mentioned being rejected by me in the query phase but have then landed representation elsewhere.

It means their work was intriguing—but just not to me.

5. Well-done queries that knock our socks off so we ask for sample pages. These folks get the “request for pages” email letter.
To sum up? One agent’s “so intriguing I must see sample pages” is another agent’s “ho-hum and not right for me.”

So don’t get in a stew about the wording. It’s a NO. Tweak if you need to (especially if all your responses are NOs—that could signal the query letter/pitch hook being at fault) and then move on. Your agent might be around the next email query corner.

If You Have a Few Moments…

STATUS: If I were paranoid, I might think the world was conspiring against me to keep me from working. Network down for two days. Sara and I just get into a groove this morning and the power for the entire building went out at 11 a.m. It didn’t come back on until 7 hours later. I guess it just wasn’t my destiny to get a lot accomplished this week.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? SEXUAL HEALING by Soul Asylum (and yes I know it’s a remake but I kind of like this bouncy version)

I hate it but I can still feel guilty when a writer responds to a query letter rejection with a lovely and polite request for more info about what might be wrong with the query since we are declining to ask for sample pages.

The requests usually begin with “If you have a few moments…”

And I have to say that the requester has actually hit the nail on the head. We never have a spare few moments.

Of course y’all are thinking but you have a few moments to write this blog? Why not give this nice lady a little bit of feedback on her query letter that could make the difference between her query getting an agent’s attention or not?

Well, the truth is, it often only takes me a few moments a day to write up an entry. Average time is 15 minutes. Sometimes it takes longer if I’m having some fun with it.

If we responded to all those lovely requests with a query critique, it would take a helluva lot longer than 15 minutes. The amount of queries receive often make responding in general a heroic feat for us (and I never want to be an agency that states that we’ll only respond to email queries that capture our attention since that would drive me crazy if I were a writer and never received a response). We simply haven’t the time to give feedback.

And here’s where my guilt comes in—it’s the Midwesterner in me. When those lovely requests come in, they just get deleted and the poor requester never receives a response from us. I hate that but we can’t take the time to respond to that either.

So, I guess I’m just apologizing en masse if you have sent a request like that to us and never received a response.

I’m just darn happy that we respond to all our email queries in 5 to 10 days usually (when we aren’t having network issues and power outages that is!).