Pub Rants

STATUS: Just when I finished one contract, in comes another. I guess that’s what happens when you sell a lot of books in a short period of time. As you can probably guess, contracts are time-consuming. Analyzed some royalty statements too. I’m awaiting one more and that’s it for the spring sheets. Setting up my appts. for New York next week. Lots of lovely editors to talk to.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER by The Beatles

Since I’m back from Dallas, I feel the urge to dispense some more little tidbits of nonsense or wisdom—depending on how you see it.

As I mentioned, it was a great conference. The writers of DARA number something like 160 and they have many already published authors. These gals (and a few guys) are quite savvy. So I haven’t got an inappropriate bathroom tale to regale you with.

I did have a person come up to me and pitch a work I had already rejected once. Not sure why. Maybe he/she thought meeting me in person would change my mind about the material but the truth was, and I told the writer this, that the work wasn’t right for me. I admire the writer’s courage though in trying again. Persistence is certainly 80% of this game if not more.

But back to my little wise tidbit.

I had some great pitch sessions while at the conference, and I wanted to distill why. Here’s what I noticed.

The best pitch sessions were

1. begun with a personal comment or observation to create rapport. A couple of writers mentioned that they read my blog and what they found helpful. (Even if you read it for the first time the night before, I’ll never know. Another hint: Mention or compliment one of my authors. Even better, if you can mention one scene you loved in one of their novels, I’ll be even more impressed because then I’ll know your compliment is genuine.)

2. concise and well-prepared. The writer boiled down her story to one pitch paragraph on a little note card and didn’t ramble.

3. done in 2 minutes—leaving the other eight minutes for questions—either mine or hers. I had some great, memorable conversations during these meetings because of this.

4. relaxed. A writer can be nervous and that’s fine but at least stay open to being put at ease. Your career is not riding on this meeting—contrary to popular belief. If you write well, you’ll find that perfect agent match even if you don’t pitch in person.

STATUS: Beyond crazy since I was out of the office on Friday. Finished a contract, signed a new client, smiled thinking about my great weekend in Dallas.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? DIDDLEY DADDY by Chris Isaak

Once again, great aspiration to get this blog done early. Didn’t happen as you can tell. I’ll work on that.

I had a great weekend in Dallas. April is definitely the time to visit Texas. Low humidity. Temps in the 80s. I broke out my sandals and got the toenails painted hot pink just for the occasion.

I can’t tell you how many writers came up to me to say that they read my blog. It’s so nice to meet some actual faces behind the readers so thank you for that.

I also have one little tidbit of advice gleaned from the weekend. Announcing that romance is “fluff” while attending a romance conference and sitting in on a workshop that tackles the genre might not be the best way to win friends. I could feel the room temperature physically drop a notch after many cold stares were thrown the speaker’s way.

Might want to avoid that kind of social gaffe in the future. You’ll get more out of the conference that way.

I’m sure I’ll have a few more tidbits to share as the week unfolds.

But it’s Monday and you know what happens on Mondays. It’s time for some Partial Madness comments.

I’ve got two for you today since I have romance on the mind.

I’ve been noticing an interesting trend for openers in the romance partials I’ve received lately. And to be honest, this is merely an observation and certainly not a rule as something to avoid. You might want to keep them in mind just in case there’s a better way to launch your story. This might also be a personal taste thing and what doesn’t rock my boat might be a favorite thing for other agents.

If any other agents read this (or editors for that matter), feel free to pipe up in the comments section.

1. Launching into your narrative via a dream sequence.

Now, I understand the motivation for this. It allows a writer to leap into some action immediately. Usually the dream sequence is a nightmare or something unusual, which makes for a gripping start.

The problem for me is when the dream scene ends and the next scene is fairly mundane. It’s such a let down after the intensity of the opening. It’s like a false promise of what will be the story and then the reader realizes that oh, it’s just a dream. Not real. And there is a level of disappointment in that.

For the most part, if your character is dreaming, then she’s in bed. I find the next scene will often involve the heroine waking up. Not too many places to go in the narrative giving the narrowness of this perspective. She might get up and shower or something like that and suddenly, the story has lost a lot of momentum. Have you defeated the point of your opening?

2. Heroine waking up alone to find a strange man in her room.

Yikes folks. This is most women’s worst nightmare. I’m often surprised at how often this is an opening scene in a romance novel (usually a paranormal or something where time-travel might be involved). Often the stranger is going to be the hero but I can’t help thinking that it doesn’t show a lot of good judgment on his part to awaken a sleeping woman in this manner. How can she be anything other than terrified? Also, it doesn’t allow the heroine a whole lot of room to develop either. In reality, this would be beyond frightening and I don’t think it would matter how gorgeous the intruder happens to be. If a woman thinks her life is a stake, such a thought on physical beauty would be incongruous. For me, opening scenes have to make sense and this set up is something I can’t quite wrap my mind around.

Now I’m sure there is a bestselling author out there who wrote this and got away with it. I’m thinking if you’re a bestselling author, you can get away with just about anything.

However unfair, the standards are way higher for a writer trying to break in.

STATUS: Packing. Must head out to the airport in 15 minutes.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? HANG ON TO YOUR LOVE—by Sade

I’m actually really excited about our Chick Lit workshop now. Last night, Shanna and I worked on tweaking the PowerPoint presentation. We really added some cool things so as to talk about the current market.

Chick Lit may not be the “hot” market at the moment but it’s not going anywhere either. It’s still worth talking about.

Looking forward to hanging out with Lucienne Diver from Spectrum and Nephele Tempest from the Knight Agency. We have a little mini-happy hour planned this afternoon.

My authors Shanna Swendson and Jana DeLeon will be at the conference. We’ve got dinner plans on Saturday night.

Mini-rant.

I was trying to open some partials today to put them in the queue and I just wanted to say here, you really don’t have to tape the heck out of the envelope.

I’m talking about tape across the seal and then tape up the sides as well—so much in fact I can’t even slide a letter opener in there. I end up opening the bottom instead of the top except that sometimes that’s taped too!

People who do this are the same ones who tape down every edge and corner when wrapping birthday gifts, aren’t they?

Stop. Please. I don’t want to take 2 minutes to open your envelope. A little tape is fine. One piece just to secure.

STATUS: Busy, busy. Closed a deal. Discussed a contract. Analyzed and sent out royalty statements. Getting ready to go out of town.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? TOWN CALLED MALICE—The Jam

Well this song takes me back to High School. I think that dates me. I always have great intentions of writing my blog first thing in the morning. Yep. Doesn’t happen.

It will tomorrow because I have to catch a plane so I’ll need to blog in a hurry.

Since I’m off to the Dreamin’ in Dallas conference, I thought I’d let you guys in on a little secret of how to win friends and influence agents while at a conference.

Seriously, if you plan to attend a conference and you want to make a good impression, especially on me, here’s how to do it.

First off, don’t be shy and do come up and say hello. Introduce yourself. Tell me you read my blog and deliver lots of compliments (joking on that later part). How will you meet me if you don’t come up and say hello? Tell me which one of my authors’ books you’ve read and why you loved it (and I’m serious about this one because that will impress me).

Remember that I’m a human being. Best place to say hello? In the hotel lounge or conference social cocktail parties where I’m feeling relaxed and probably have a glass of wine in hand. This means I’m in social mode.

Worst place to say hello? In the bathroom. Folks, I’m taking care of business. I don’t want to do anything else in that particular place.

Another good place to say hello? Right after I give my workshop. There I am. At your disposal to answer questions. That’s the trick. Ask a good question. Don’t pitch your novel.

Another bad place to say hello? Outside my hotel room. As I’m walking out the hotel front door to catch my plane.

Elevators are sometimes iffy. Depends on how you carry it off.

Here’s the secret. No agent wants to attend a conference and be pitched to—unless we are taking our pitch appointments and then it’s perfectly fine. Instead, what you need to be is your charming self. Be normal. Be interesting. Make conversation. Ask some good questions.

I promise you that if you are all these things, I will eventually ask you about your novel and whether it would be a good fit for me because you have impressed me as a person; therefore your writing might impress me as well. Or, what will happen is that in the normal unfolding of conversation, there will be an appropriate opportunity to mention your novel. It always happens if you are treating me like a human being that you want to meet and not an agent you want to pitch to.

I once was at an opening cocktail party of a conference. It had been a tough flight and I was a little frazzled. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxed opening session. Well, this one attendee basically stalked me through the cocktail party. When she saw I had a free moment, she pounced and immediately started pitching me—without even introducing herself first.

You know me. I’m unfailingly polite but I could feel my eyes glaze in about 30 seconds. I felt ambushed.

In desperation, I told her to send the first 30 pages by snail mail—just so I could end the conversation (even though I could tell the work wasn’t for me).

She said (and I kid you not), “but I must tell you about this part.”

And I have to say that I did channel Miss Snark for a moment and I said, “No, you really don’t. It sounds fine. Why don’t you just send me the first 30 pages.”

She replies, “No, I must.”

And then proceeded to talk at me for the next 10 minutes, explaining her novel in excruciating detail.

I was saved by an attentive attendee who gracefully interrupted her and whisked me away. We had a charming conversation and at the end, I said, “I don’t care what you write, please just send it to me.”

The power of charm and being yourself. That’s how you schmooze me.

STATUS: Too early in the morning to say but I’ve got a contract to tackle and I’m determined to finish this today. I’m also having lunch with estimable Bella Stander and if you haven’t checked out her website and blog, do.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? TWO STEP—Dave Matthews Band

I am in a ranting state of mind this morning. Invigorating.

Folks, agents blog anonymously for a reason. It’s so they can be blunt and honest. Completely so.

I don’t blog anonymously for a couple of reasons: 1) It’s fun to be recognized if folks like my blog, 2) I like to educate writers and if I’m in teaching mode, then it’s good that writers know who I am, and 3) The marketing aspect, duh. I’m sure most of you have already caught on to this racket of mine. My blog is a great marketing tool—for me, for my agency, for my authors.

Some altruism sure because I like helping writers but if I sell just one of my author’s books because of my blog… great.

Hope that wasn’t a surprise to any of you this morning.

But because I’m not anonymous, I do have to censor myself. I’m forthright but I can’t always be as forthcoming as Agent 007 or Miss Snark (and let me tell you, I read their blogs; they are indeed forthright and deliciously so).

So lately I’ve been receiving emails from various friends in the industry giving me the latest theory of who is Miss Snark. Here we go again. It’s human nature to want to reveal what is secret I guess. Think Deep Throat and Watergate.

I, myself, have actually been accused of being her. (Kristin laughs delightedly.)

Let me put that rumor to rest. Folks, I’m from Missouri. I’m too nice too to have that razor-sharp sardonic wit—although I often envy it and wish to channel her.

Besides, I don’t care to know who she is. I know she’s an agent. She’s too spot-on with her answers not to be.

Now I can tell you this is true. Her blog often states bluntly what many agents, including me, often think but keep to ourselves.

And for that, we are grateful to her and I for one would like her to continue.

Anonymously.

STATUS: Got a lot accomplished. Close to wrapping up a new deal. Got a work out on submission and worked on a contract. That’s productive let me tell you.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? YOU BELONG TO ME by Dean Martin

Every year I try and attend at least 2 or 3 writers conferences. Well, this year I had some huge brain fart and I agreed to three and then realized that I also needed to go to the RT Convention and then I got invited to another conference that was local and then…

In the end, I scheduled something like 6 conferences in four months. Not to mention my trips to New York—the first being in April. Not smart I’m telling you.

So even though I way over-committed myself and can already feel pangs of regret, I didn’t cancel any because I like attending conferences.

Why? For several reasons really.

I really enjoy educating writers. I wouldn’t blog if I didn’t feel that. When I attend conferences, I always request to give one of several workshops I’ve developed that I think attendees would find of value. It’s the teacher in me. Back in the early nineties, I taught college—English 101, 102, and literature. I sometimes miss the classroom and here’s an opportunity to exercise those rusty muscles.

Although I have to crack up about the workshop I’m giving with my author Shanna in Dallas this weekend. It’s the Hot Genre of Chick Lit. Well, a year ago when they were planning this conference and confirming workshops, you could still call it the hot genre because you could actually sell a chick lit novel. Not so much the case these days.

Harrumph. Here we are a year later and the title really should be the Hot Genre of Chick Lit that’s Now in the Toilet but I’ve already blogged about that.

Too late to change the workshop.

At the very least, I guess Shanna and I get to talk about why the market has shifted and what that means for established writers and those new authors trying to break in. Still, it makes me wonder if I should fiddle significantly with my power point presentation. I can tell that this workshop won’t be offered much in the near future—or until the market turns around anyway.

I also like attending conferences because I like to stay in touch with the people behind the writing. It’s so easy to sit in my office and say NO, NO, NO to query after query or 50 partials in a row and forget that this is a person’s dream. It’s my job, yes, and publishing is first and foremost a business, yes, but being an agent is often more than just a job. I mean, come on, how many jobs have dream fulfillment as part of the description.

Conferences are the human face to what can be a dehumanizing experience of trying to get published.

It’s a good reason for why writers should go as well.

STATUS: A little tired today. One big problem I had to handle that really zapped a lot of energy. Not feeling my perky self. Nothing that a nice glass of wine won’t handle though.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? NIGHTINGALE by Norah Jones

It’s Monday and you know what happens on Mondays. Angie, reader extraordinaire, visits the office and reads the partial inbox all day. Usually I read with her but didn’t have any time today. I did get to spend about an hour in the afternoon looking at some partials that she had passed on to me.

We always try to have some words of wisdom for writers after a day of reading the old inbox. Actually, I should say that Angie has some words of wisdom to share. She basically took me by the arm and said, “here’s your blog topic for today” and since she had that look in her eye, I must comply.

Today’s topic: avoid incorporating your back story via your character’s dialogue.

After reading several examples aloud to me, I have say I’m in agreement. It makes for uninspiring and tepid dialogue exchanges—and the kiss of death to the partial. Basically, when writers fall into this trap, they end up stating in the dialogue something the receiving character would already know. It ends up making no sense as to why the other character would say it in the first place. The only reason would be to create the back story for the reader.

Clumsy at best.

Made up example:

Character 1: I must find the elusive stone of magic (of death, of life, insert appropriate fantasy element here).

Character 2: Yes, my Queen, it is imperative we find it but you also need to remember to collect the six other crystals/stones/talismans for without it, you will not have the power of the XYZ and will be unable to rule your domain.

Hum… If character 1 is the Queen, wouldn’t she already know that she needs the other elements in order to have complete control and world domination? Why in the world would she need her attendant to tell her so? It’s obvious that this dialogue is for the reader’s sake (to incorporate the back story) and is in no way exploring the character, plot etc.

Aren’t you glad I don’t write dialogue for a living? I’m of course attempting (successfully or not—you tell me) to exaggerate the example so the point is clear.

Back story. Dialogue. Not a match made in heaven.

STATUS: Bursting with excitement! See blog entry below for details.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? FAST CAR by Tracy Chapman

Huge news going on at the Nelson Agency this morning. When I got back from the gym, my author Linnea Sinclair had called to tell me that her novel FINDERS KEEPERS was nominated for a RITA for Best First Book.

WOO HOO Linnea!

I can barely contain myself. As y’all know, my agency is young—only been around since 2002. To have an author nominated for a RITA, the top award in the realm of romance is a big, big deal.

And then the news gets even better if that’s possible.

Linnea calls me back an hour later to tell me that GABRIEL’S GHOST was also nominated for a RITA for Best Paranormal/Futuristic. (In case you’re missing it, Linnea writes kick-ass Science Fiction with romance).

WOO HOO again.

I feel like running out right now to buy a new dress for the RITA award ceremony at RWA in Atlanta.

Not only that, but both these titles were also nominated for a RIO award just this week (Reviewers International Organization).

And, just so we don’t scare any of the boys away, Linnea gets just as many emails from her science fiction male fans as from the female SF and romance-reading fans.

Time to celebrate!

STATUS: Contracts and more contracts. Also got translation rights money today. Love those foreign publishers who like buying my authors and publishing them in fun countries like Japan.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? WICHITA LINEMAN by Glen Campbell

As you can tell, my little ipod is eclectic. I just put it on random scramble and whatever song happens to be playing as I start this blog is what gets posted. It just went from Glen Campbell to Gloria Gaynor. Even I think that’s a little strange. Yesterday, I swear it was stuck on the Pietasters—my husband’s favorite band, after CAKE that is. Now Matchbox Twenty just popped on because I keep getting interrupted while writing this blog.

I may be laboring under a misconception so you guys will have to set me straight.

I always think of aspiring writers as in need of funds. Even though I know many writers with great, well-paid jobs (and potentially make more money than I do in a year), I just think of them in terms of being “writing poor”—as in they don’t have a lot of extra money in the budget to spend on postage, paper, ink cartridges etc. and the costs of doing writing as a business.

It’s expensive to mail off a full—which is why I always ask for those electronically.

So I can’t understand the number of FedEx overnight partials I receive. Truly, the number is staggering.

Folks, I don’t even send contracts and money to my clients FedEx overnight—the most expensive option they have. Why in the world would a writer expend that type of money to mail in a partial request?

Do you think I’m going to read it the next day? Unlikely. It’s going into the partial inbox pile and as y’all know, Angie is more than likely going to give it first look and she only comes in on Mondays.

What I’m saying is that there is no need to rush me these pages. Now, there is a big need for me to get through them a little faster, no doubt, but there is no need for speed in terms of it reaching me in the first place.

The United States Post Office does just fine. It will only take 3-4 days—regardless of where you live in this country if you send it regular mail. And if you are worried about status, you can ask and pay for delivery notification. Or, you could include a postcard that says “received on” and we’ll mail it. Of course I might be optimistic on that point. We do try and mail them promptly.

FedEx isn’t going away any time soon. There’s no need to keep them in shorts.

STATUS: Feeling upbeat. How can I not with Mary J on the stereo? I’m working on contracts, which is always labor intensive and detail-oriented. An editor also called to make an offer for one of my projects.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? FAMILY AFFAIR by Mary J. Blige

I’ve spent the last two days talking about the huge hug fest I’ve got going on with all my agent pals. You have to know there is a flipside—the nasty agents who don’t operate with impeccable integrity or a strong ethical code.

Agents are still a microcosm of the society at large, which means there are always a couple of bad apples in the bunch (and I’m not talking about scammers or faux agents. I’m talking about real agents who walk some very fine lines in their relationships with other agents).

It’s called agent poaching or in other words, agents who deliberately steal clients from other agents.

We agents all know who they are but I wonder if the general writing world at large has any idea.

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about authors who have become unhappy with their current representation and decide to make a change. That certainly happens often enough. The author independently has made the decision for the change.

No, I’m talking about the agents (and they all have solid reputations and good sales records) who deliberately target the clients that other agents have built to a high enough level to be poached. Then this poacher sidles up and promises the world. Promises such as “I can get you significantly more money than so-so has done for you” and “I can build you to the next level and so-so can’t” and “I can get you on the NYT list or USA Today.”

Sounds awfully good to the author. So what’s the problem?

Poachers can’t always deliver. Then they do one of two things: 1) drop the client faster than a bad hot potato when reality doesn’t match expectation (because the author’s career hadn’t built to that needed level yet and now they’ve just shot themselves in the foot) or worse yet, 2) start ignoring the client and the author ends up low on the totem pole with the new poacher agent whereas two months ago they were getting tons of attention and now, when expectations haven’t been met, are suddenly getting none.

If the Poacher does manage to fulfill the promises, then good. I guess both parties got what they needed. The stories you don’t hear are all the authors who left the poacher agent after getting burned.

I’m a big believer in world karma and what goes around comes around.

Publishing is a small world. If you’re an author listening to a poacher siren song, make sure you’re really not getting what you need from your current agent. Talk to him or her before making the leap.

Be sure to talk to the current clients at the poacher agency but also be willing to dig a little and talk to the former clients. You might be surprised at how revealing that can be.

But most of all, you need to be willing to pay the price if you are lured to another agency and it goes sour. There’s no going back to your former agent (who’s now looking like the world’s greatest agent)—although many have tried.