Pub Rants

Category: Agent Kristin

These Are A Few of My Favorite (And Not So Favorite) Things

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF. One deal finally concluded. Another deal heating up. Makes me cheerful for Thanksgiving.

What song is playing on the iPod right now? KISS THE GIRL from the Little Mermaid Soundtrack

My Favorite Things

1. When an editor listens when we say the cover is awful and becomes a huge advocate on our behalf and the new cover rocks!

2. When an offer exceeds expectation and the author and agent are both excited and pleased.

3. When an editor calls to say how much she loves the book and then cites all the same scenes that made me fall in love with it as an agent.

4. When an editor calls to say that your author’s book has hit the list: NYT, USA Today, B&N. I like all the lists.

5. When an editor calls to say the first print run has sold out and the house is going back to reprint.

And Not So Favorite

1. When I hold a best bids auction and the publishers involved don’t come with their best bids and I have to admonish them and refuse to present the offer to the client (translation: and your mother smells of elderberries now go away and give me a real best bid before I taunt you a second time).

2. Publishers that demand an upon publication payment as part of the advance (what’s the definition of advance again?)

3. Cover art that begs the question why.

4. When you ask for a standard reversion clause for rights granted and the editor makes it sound like she is doing you a huge favor.

Remember, Editors Work For The Man

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’m a little frazzled. But things are good. I did have lunch today with Kate Schafer, a YA agent at Janklow & Nesbit. She’s in town. Ends up we both have copies of Opal Mehta (of the big plagiarism scandal) because we had lunches with editors involved right before that story broke. Isn’t that weird? A little synchronicity in the world.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? THIS IS IT by Kenny Loggins

One of the great reasons, as an author, to have an agent is the fact that your agent gets to handle any of the nasty stuff and you, as the author, get to maintain a terrific, stress-free relationship with your editor. In fact, some authors end up being good friends with their editors and will often attend parties, weddings, and other events with or for their editor friend.

A great relationship with your editor is a powerful thing. I’m all for it but I always want to remind authors that editors work for the man. In other words, they work for the publishing house and even though they might adore you personally, it is their job to protect their employer’s best interest. Not yours.

That’s why you have an agent.

So when I hear that authors either knowingly or unwittingly circumvent their agent and jeopardize the author/agent partnership, I feel the need to rant. I guess this has been a big discussion on some of the chat forums lately—authors who have agents but go directly to their editor with a new, uncontracted proposal or work without consulting with the agent first.

Oh boy. Regardless of how good your relationship is with your editor, this is business; not personal and a submission (in whatever format) is truly the first step in a negotiation and is serious business. Not to mention your agent’s job. I have heard so many horror stories of authors misstepping at this stage because they knowingly or unwittingly circumvented the agent and chaos ensued.

Or even better, I love the stories where authors have submitted a project themselves and contracted it without the agent’s knowledge and then landed themselves in a whole heap of trouble in terms of not honoring option clauses or current contract conditions etc.

Guess what the agent does when he or she finds out? You bet. Drops you. In this instant, the author has purposely negated the agent/author relationship and as far as the agent is concerned, you are not her problem anymore.

Any gray areas here? For example, are you allowed to share ideas with your editor? Sure… (but it’s better to share with me first) and as soon as the idea morphs into pen on paper, a real project that can be sold, I’d better be in the loop.

Tagged

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It was a little bit nippy here in Denver. Actually, I think it’s just normal weather but after the sultry days in PR… The first day back in the office is always a wash. I have grand ideas of how much I’ll tackle and the reality is that I’ll end up checking off one thing from my list of 25 items.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? DRIVE MY CAR by The Beatles

On Monday, my good agent friend Deidre Knight tagged me from her blog to reveal 5 interesting things about myself.

I swear, it took me all week just to come up with five that would be worth sharing. To quote a line from ALMOST FAMOUS, “I’m uncool.”

But here goes.

1. When I was in the 7th grade, I was caller 600 on a phone-in radio station contest and I won two free tickets to go see Olivia Newton John in concert (yep, the Let’s Get Physical tour). I thought I was so hip and cool.

And you can see how Junior High could go down hill from there.

2. I have two tattoos and I have had them going on close to 20 years.

3. I broke my right arm when I was 24. A girlfriend of mine worked in the music industry and we were backstage a lot that month while I had my full-arm plaster cast. I still have it and it was signed by Michael Hutchins and the boys from INXS, Crowded House, Lenny Kravitz (What a gentleman! We even had tea with him, and I’m not kidding. Tea.) and Material Issue.

Also that summer, I had a whole conversation with Harrison Ford while sitting on the steps of the administration building of Paramount studios and I didn’t initiate it. He did.

4. I’m the youngest of three children in my family. Not once has anyone guessed that. They always think I’m the oldest. It must be my bossy ways.

5. On average, once a month, a stranger will come up to me on the street or in a store or at the airport convinced that they know me. They will ask if I grew up in XYZ or went to this high school or was at this job. Some folks have even called me by some other name and given me a hug, convinced that they knew me.

My hubby used to laugh and tell me I was exaggerating until he got to experience it first hand. It literally happened last night when we flew from Miami to Denver. The guy sitting next to me said, “I just have to ask. Is your name Kim and did you grow up in Mississippi?”

I couldn’t make this up folks. Makes me think I might have had a brilliant career in crime since it would be hard to pick me out specifically in a line up. I look like every other women in the United States!

A Halloween Treat

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It’s not even 8 a.m. yet. What do you think my status is? Barely awake.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHAT IS LOVE? By Haddaway

Last week Ally Carter got an email and a picture from a fan and I just couldn’t resist.

Since I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU is her favorite book in the whole world, this fan is going as a Gallagher Girl for Halloween.

Liz to be exact.

She compares it to being way a head of the curve because come 2007, dressing as a Gallagher Girl is going to be so last year.

With her and her mother’s permission, here she is.

That’s just so darn cute; I need to pinch something!

And as an extra special treat, here are the hubby and I in some pics from Halloween past. (And if that is not enough to frighten you… I don’t know what will).

Happy Halloween!

Scammers That Scam Together…

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF! The week ended way better than it started. I have one project that’s garnering lots of editor attention. Love that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? FASCINATION STREET by The Cure

Of course I had to go and research David Kuzminski’s cryptic comment in yesterday’s comment thread to click here if I wanted a good laugh.

But nothing prepared me for the sheer hilarity of scammers and fee-charging agents banding together to pretend they’re legitimate.

I even love their new organizational title: The International Independent Literary Association and yet not one of the agencies listed there is international. Perhaps they are just being optimistic for new members?

But my favorite part? The link that says Retainer Fee—To Pay or Not to Pay.

There they clearly spell out that it is a common misconception that reputable agents do not charge fees.

Eyebrow raise.

But it gets even better, they admit that reading and evaluation fees are still a big NO but retainer fees are the new black. After all, you’d expect to pay one when hiring an attorney, so why not for hiring an agent? In fact, according to them, this is now the case for literary agents.

News to me!

They even outright say that it’s okay as long as the retainer fee is for a reasonable amount.

Right. I’d like to know what constitutes a reasonable amount.

Folks. Repeat after me. Legitimate agents sell books to make money. To publishers who pay advances and royalties for the privilege.

They don’t charge money upfront (call it retainer, reading, submission, evaluation or whatever).

Why? Because if you actually sell books, you make money. There’s no need to charge fees.

And I also want you to go to the Association of Authors’s Representatives web page right now (of which I am a member). Give it a good look.

Now click on the Canon of Ethics. A set of ethical guidelines agents must adhere to in order to be a member.

See item 8? It clearly states that charging clients is subject to serious abuse that reflects adversely on our profession. Now, the problem is that the AAR only highlights fees for reading and evaluating literary works.

Scammers and pseudo-agents are manipulating language by now calling it a retainer. See it’s not really a reading or evaluation fee (even though we don’t seem to have a sales record), honest.

Folks. A fee is a fee is a fee is a fee.

Technology Woes

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Network nightmares. You don’t want to talk to me right now. Despite being nice, I might actually snap at you.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? Ray Charles piped in over the speaker. Can’t tell you the title of the song though. He’s awesome regardless of which song.

Sorry folks. It’s not going to be a real blog today. My office computer network went down this morning and it’s still not fixed. Of course that drives me insane since everything happens by email. Almost everything. I did actually pick up the phone today. Gasp. How old-fashioned.

Just kidding.

So you’re probably wondering how I’m making this entry happen? Via my happy local Starbucks. I actually wanted to use the free wifi on the 16th street mall in downtown Denver but my computer was being ornery and wouldn’t connect to that network.

As to what happens to editors over the age of 35? Lots of things.

Publishing is tough. Long hours. Low pay. Tons of reading, which can strain the eyes. Editors really have to be passionate to stick with it.

Lots leave after a couple of years in the trenches. Many are promoted to positions where acquiring still happens (such as an Editorial Director) but mostly the job entails management.

Some editors leave to flip over to the dark side known as agenting.

Big smile here.

Some become editors-at-large so they can take more control over their projects and their lives.

Some move into other aspects of publishing.

Some actually retire after many fab years in the business.

Don’t worry. We don’t put them down after 35.

Scammers At The Gate

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Fridays always make me happy.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? The line up begins again on Monday.

To give Publishers Weekly their due, they allowed the dubious purveyors of the Sobol Awards to air their opinions about their contest in the Soapbox section of the Oct. 9, 2006 issue of the magazine. It’s entitled Barbarians At The Gate? Scammers at the gate more like.

Here’s the link if you think it worth your time to peruse. I think your time could be better spent.

First, have you noticed that legitimate organizations and contests (those above approach because they actually are operating with a writer’s best interest in mind) have no need to defend themselves?

Second, I find it curious that Ms. Weeks actually didn’t address any of the issues raised by Miss Snark and others about why this contest is a scam.

In her 60 seconds Soapbox, Ms. Weeks basically says that the Sobol Awards provide manuscript critiques for so many writers who otherwise would never get any feedback at all. (Huge eyebrow raise here because really?)

It’s my understanding that there are lots of venues for writers to get wonderful feedback and critiques for their writing without paying a dime. They are called critique groups.

And there are other organizations with minor membership fees (fees that are then used to actually advocate for their members) where writers can join the various local chapters to get their manuscript read and critique. Organizations such as Romance Writers of America, Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, Mystery Writers of America and that’s just to name a few.

And yet, according to Ms. Weeks, it’s the Sobol Awards who will raise those deserving writers out of the unknown by getting them representation by Sobol Literary Agency, which actually hasn’t sold anything. Sounds like some prize.

My favorite part is when she says, “You’ll notice they [the winners] are not locked in the dungeons of Castle Sobol for the balance of their careers. They take their checks, their published novels and then can pick among the many agents anxious to represent an author whose value has already been proven in the marketplace.”

That includes some interesting assumptions—such as any winner of the Award would actually get their book published to start. Considering the track record of the agency (which is nil) that will represent the winners…seems like a big IF to me.

And for better reading, check out what Preditors & Editors has to say about Sobol Literary Agency.

Basically, it still comes down to the fact that the only ones benefiting from the Sobol Awards are those who profit from the “registration” fee.