Pub Rants

Category: Agents/Agenting

Prolific or Unpublishable?

STATUS: Crazy busy. A couple of deals are going down so I’m spending a lot of time on the phone.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? The BARE NECESSITIES by Phil Harris (from The Jungle Book)

Nothing is more frightening for an agent then to receive a query where the author proudly announces that s/he has 10 completed manuscripts and a few partials ready for review and can s/he send them along.

Yikes. I realize that the writer includes this information to show the seriousness of intent (or ability to write lots of material) but that’s not what I’m thinking. I’m thinking, “You’ve completed 10 manuscripts and none of them have been published at this point? Did you need 10 manuscripts to learn how to write?”

Now this might be erroneous thinking on my part. Maybe this person is really good and just happens to be prolific.

If that’s the case, you spring that information on to your agent after you’ve signed for representation. (Keywords here are “signed for representation.”)

In a query, it’s best to highlight one work and one work only. We have to fall in love with your writing first and we only need to read one project to do that. Then we can explore what else you have in your arsenal.

But What Is Your Story?

STATUS: Is it really three in the afternoon already? It just can’t be…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT by C&C Music Factory

Last but not least, I have one last word on the memoir and then I’m going to rant about something else for a while.

Here’s the last point that I want to make. Often when writers pitch their memoirs, they often focus on the fantastic/dramatic element that, in their mind, is the unique impetus that drives the story, such as the disabled sibling (or the genius sibling), the psychotic mother (that’s a popular one), the drug addicted brother, father, sister or whoever–you name it, the daughter who accused the father of abuse (and it’s the mother’s memoir) that I’m often left asking, “but what is your story.”

I have often asked this question to aspiring memoirists and have stumped them. And the answer might be that they don’t really have one—and hence, what they have won’t really work as a memoir.

A simple question but an important one if you plan to write in this genre.

I’ve Got A Memoir But It Could Be Published As A Novel

STATUS: TGIF. Fun weekend planned as the in-laws (whom I adore) are in town for Father’s Day. Coors Field here we come.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER by Simon & Garfunkel

I love the memoir. I could talk about this genre for weeks but I imagine some blog readers are thinking, “move on already.”

Seriously though, I read a lot of recently published memoirs on my own, for fun, because I just love that thrilling inside look into another person’s life. If I found more “just blow me away” ones, I would take them on. So I’m going to continue talking about this genre until I’ve exhausted all rant-worthy topics associated with it (and don’t worry, my arsenal is starting to run low).

So the above title to this blog entry is yet another kiss-of-death-otherwise-known-as-an-automatic-NO-from-an-agent for any aspiring memoirist. I cannot count the number of times I’ve chatted with a writer in person who has finished a memoir but when pitching the project to me will often say, “I wrote it as a memoir but it could be published as a novel instead.”

The answer to that is no it can’t.

And yes, I’m going to tell you why because this misconception is definitely a rant-worthy topic.

Although a memoir often shares certain similarities to a novel (as in there are scenes, dialogue, development of characters, and sometimes world-building) a memoir is not the same as a novel. They are two, distinctly different creative processes in how they are crafted and written.

So an already written memoir can’t be “published” as a novel or even vice-versa. It’s like saying my nonfiction self-help book can double as a novel. These are two wholly different entities. Apples and Oranges (James Frey, non-withstanding, but even A Million Little Pieces would have to be redone completely to make it stand as a novel because the crafting of a novel is not the same as the crafting of a memoir). Repeat after me: they are not interchangeable.

Now, I’m not talking about writers who have yet to begin the writing process and are wondering if they should simply take the real-life experience and use that as inspiration for writing a novel. That’s a different ball game altogether (but I also want to point out that such a direction has a whole different set of pitfalls). The key words here are “use it as inspiration.” Let’s just say when writers try to take a real life event and fictionalize it, something gets lost in the translation because the writers get too attached to what “actually happened” versus writing an original scene with developing characters and so on. Usually, but not always, the writing of this “novel” is just terrible because the writer doesn’t have any distance to the material nor are they using the elements of writing good fiction to create it.

But as I said, that’s actually a whole other blog entry. A memoir is a memoir—not a novel. A novel is a novel and can’t easily be “revised” into a memoir.

So don’t approach me with, “I’ve written a memoir but if it would be better, you could submit and publish it as a novel instead.”

Writing A Memoir Is Not The Same As Writing “My Memoirs”

STATUS: I’m going to be bald by the end of this week because S&S makes me want to pull my hair out. I’m ready to channel my inner Miss Snark…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? RAPTURE by Blondie

In other words, what is the difference between writing a memoir versus writing an autobiography (and there’s a huge difference, trust me).

When I’m at a conference, it makes me cringe when writers announce that they are writing their memoirs. Why? Because that means they are writing their life story (including “I was born in 1940 (or choose a year) in Biloxi, Mississippi–or choose wherever”) which is an autobiography not a memoir.

In publishing, famous people have biographies written about them or they may write their own autobiography (Personal History by Katharine Graham comes to mind) but the keyword here is “famous.”

For publication purposes, if you aren’t famous, there is no market for your “memoirs” and a large publishing house will not buy it. Now that doesn’t mean a person shouldn’t write his or her memoirs (what a powerful way to document the family history etc.) but don’t imagine that it’s going to be appropriate for publication to a wider audience.

Once again, I’m not trying to be harsh or mean. I’m simply trying to clarify the difference because it’s obvious in the query letters that we receive that a good majority of people don’t understand that there is one.

An autobiography is a chronicle of a person’s life history.

A memoir is a story (with a story arc not unlike what occurs in a novel) told through a prism of one particular life experience and it usually focuses on a finite period of time and not the person’s life as a whole. A memoir has crafted scenes that build on one another to reach a pivotal moment. An autobiography has remembrances of important events throughout the author’s life and how it unfolded from that person’s unique, inside perspective. They can be separate from each other and don’t need to build to a climatic moment.

Big difference. And here are some suggestions for those interested in writing a memoir. Read the top ones out there. Study how they are crafted. What makes them powerful? What stories did they tell that captured national and international attention? How are scenes created? What is the climatic moment? But most of all, pay attention to the author’s distinctive voice. By doing so, you’ll see what made the most successful memoirs popular and publishable.

Writing A Memoir Is Not Therapy

STATUS: It’s been a little exciting today. I have a debut author releasing in the spring and we’ve gotten these just incredible blurbs from NYT bestselling authors. Not to mention, we saw exciting cover art today as well.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? RUNNING UP THAT HILL by Kate Bush

One of the biggest mistakes I see in query letters for the memoir is writers who spotlight how cathartic and therapeutic the writing of the work was and how they now need to share it with the world.

This is a big mistake. Why? Because writing a memoir is not therapy or shouldn’t be, so this is not a positive thing to spotlight. The truly terrific memoirists (ANGELA’S ASHES and THE GLASS CASTLE come to mind) understand that the writing of the work is an art form and only a certain amount of distance to the subject material can create that necessary objectivity so that the story can be crafted. Key word here is “crafted.”

Now, I’m not suggesting that some of these writers didn’t experience a positive benefit from taking what were harsh and extraordinary childhoods and putting those stories on paper. They probably did but that’s not therapy and what these memoirists actually understood is that readers aren’t interesting in any one person’s therapeutic story; these readers are interested in an inside look to a world they’ve never seen or have never imagined. A world that is unbelievable but true. A world that is unique but resonates with us. A story that captures a universal feeling and the reader senses the connection.

That’s what makes the memoir powerful. And if a writer doesn’t understand the difference of what I’m trying to explain here, he/she will probably never have a memoir published.

And whether the writer understands this or not is usually very obvious and clear in the query letters we receive.

It’s probably one of the biggest misunderstandings out there about this genre.

Got Conflict?

STATUS: I started my day on the phone with the tech people on why I could send email but people weren’t receiving them. I have to say that computer or email tech problems rank up there as high stress. Still, it’s just a complication—not a conflict.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? JUNGLE LOVE by Steve Miller Band

My author Linnea Sinclair gave a great workshop this weekend and a point she made in her class really crystallized an issue I often see in sample pages—and that’s the problem of writers confusing complication with conflict. They are not the same.

And here’s a good way to explain the difference.

Let’s say that a man and woman decide to head out to the park to have a romantic picnic. They have wine, cheese, and other yummy foods that incite romantic inclinations such as little smooches etc.

Suddenly the picnic is overrun by red ants (or something equally nasty) and the couple must spring apart and it derails the picnic.

This is a complication—not a conflict. The ants are simply present (and would be if the couple was there enjoying the picnic or not).

Now, let’s set up the same scenario with the couple, the wine & cheese, and the romantic picnic. Instead of ants showing up, the man’s wife appears on the scene.

That’s conflict!

Conflict is always personal.

Linnea also pointed out that misunderstanding, distrust, and coincidence are all minor complications (and not conflict). I see this in manuscript sample pages a lot too. The writer is relying on some big secret misunderstanding that if known, would have made it a non-story. That if the two main characters had just had a chance to talk about what they weren’t getting, then problem solved.

And I know as a reader, I always feel cheated if I read a work and ultimately it’s just a miscommunication. Makes me feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath me.

Now you can layer these complications into a manuscript. Just don’t mistake it for being the conflict.

Post-Conference Onslaught

STATUS: I’m good actually. Tackled some things on my To Do list. Have two new submissions going out very soon. That’s always exciting.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? LONG COOL WOMAN IN A BLACK DRESS by The Hollies

I’m off to another conference this weekend. I’m refraining from smacking myself in the head. Every year I promise myself that I will only commit to doing 3 (and if pushed) maybe 4 a year—if that.

This year I ended up with 6. How the heck did that happen? But when New Zealand Romance Writers came a-calling to invite me down under, I just couldn’t say no. Do you blame me?

So this weekend is another romance conference (but don’t worry, I’m also going to be attending the Surrey International in Vancouver and that encompasses everything—including literary and commercial mainstream—which I’m always looking for more of.)

Not to mention, I was just recently invited to the World Horror 2008 Convention. I had to ring them back up to make sure they had the right person. After all, I don’t really represent “horror” per se. They said that they did indeed mean to contact me and that I was one of their top choices. Tickle me pink. It’s not a done deal yet but it’s a possibility that’s out there.

But this weekend is a local conference (which means I’m usually game to go because I don’t have to travel). It’s the Romancing The Rockies conference, and my author Linnea Sinclair is one of the keynote speakers.

And yes, there is a point to this blog and I’m getting to it.

My agency always gets a large slew of submissions right after a conference because I got a chance to meet and chat with a bunch of wonderful folks and of course I’ll look at sample pages. That’s the point of the conference after all.

But here’s a secret. Most folks send in their sample pages within a day or two so we get buried quickly.

My suggestion? Wait about 7-10 days, then send. That way we’ve mastered the onslaught and might just have a little more time for a more leisurely read.

One of those agency insider helpful hints.

Anticipation Is Making Me Wait

STATUS: I had a lot of phone conferences today–each averaging about an hour in length. So even though I was working, I didn’t tackle too many things on my To Do list which always makes me feel like I was a slacker somehow. I know. Makes no sense but there it is.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BABY GOT BACK –the Richard Cheese version

Okay, maybe I’m dating myself here but do you remember the Heinz Ketchup commercials to the tune of Carly Simon’s Anticipation?

The idea was that the ketchup was so thick (and delicious I presume), that it took a while to pour out of the bottle but that extra anticipation made it all the more worthwhile.

The point being that you need to be patient and wait.

Well, that’s what you need to do when an agent comes a-calling and offers representation.

I know. You’ve been waiting a long time for this moment so your first instinct may be to scream “YES, somebody wants me. I’m yours,” but that may not be in your best interest because what if another agent also wants to offer? If they do, now you have choice which puts you in the catbird seat (thank you James Thurber). This is exactly where you want to be. You are about to embark on what will hopefully be a long-term partnership so don’t be in a rush to make that decision.

And don’t worry. An agent isn’t going to withdraw the offer if you make it clear that you’ll need a week or two to assess all your options. And if an agent did withdraw an offer, well, that’s an answer all in itself so don’t sweat it.

So, squelch your initial reaction. Patience. Anticipation is worth making agents wait.

180 Degrees?

STATUS: TGIF!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BLUE TRAIN by John Coltrane

I’ve been doing a lot of full manuscript reading lately—which is always exciting. That next new client could be a read away. It seems like full manuscript requests go in spurts. We won’t ask for anything for a month or two and then boom, we’ll ask for four or five all at the same time.

So we recently just had a spurt so Sara and I have been reading like mad, and we’ve noticed an interesting trend for some of the fulls we’ve read the last couple of months.

The work will start off strongly with solid writing and a building story and then suddenly, the storyline turns 180 degrees from where we thought it was going. We are left puzzled.

What’s wrong with that?

Well, on one hand, nothing. Who wants to read a story where it’s obvious about what’s going to happen or how it will end? Twists or a little surprise are good things.

I agree but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about reading a manuscript that is really building one particular storyline (and a story I’m liking and really curious as to how it will end) when suddenly the plot diverges and the story goes galloping off in a totally different direction.

And I’m left with a raised eyebrow and a “wow, I wasn’t expecting that. That’s not the story I thought they were telling.”

Despite good writing and a concept I really, really, really wanted to work, I end up passing. The revision would potentially be too big or maybe that’s the story the writer really wanted to tell and I just couldn’t see it.

It always makes me sad though because the initial concept was really original.

How To Avoid Homer Simpson Moments

STATUS: I have to say that I’m really worried. I’m a huge HBO Entourage fan and I watched this week’s episode last night—the one where Vince sleeps with his agent (and I’m not talking about Ari). This bothers me on so many levels but please, please, don’t let this show (because of this episode) jump the shark.

DAMSEL UNDER STRESS hit shelves this week and look at this great article on Shanna in the Dallas Morning News. That’s my kind of publicity.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? I SAW THE LIGHT by Todd Rundgren

I have to say that sometimes I’m mystified by aspiring writers.

For example, last week I received a call from a writer who was looking at our website (and said so in the message) but was asking how could he/she submit a query to us.

I have to say that this had me scratching my head. I’m not the most technical person out there either but I think our instructions are pretty darn clear on the Submit Manuscript page of our website.

Or better yet, we’ve received quite a few emails in the last month where the writer emails us to ask if we accept email queries.

You can see where sometimes these types of moments make agents want to slap our foreheads in frustration. Still, I know that these incidents are the exceptions and not the rule. Thank goodness.