Pub Rants

Category: passing on sample pages

Responding to Full Manuscripts

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Just watched Casino Royale. Liked the movie. Definitely one of the more intelligent Bond films I’ve seen. Can’t say the blonde Bond does it for me but I’m all for the edginess of his character. Much more interesting and satisfying in the long run I’d say.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? Nothing at the moment.

Since a lot of the blog readers can’t be reading all of my entries from the beginning of this blog, it’s good to highlight NLA policy every once in a while. Long time blog readers will know two things about our agency.

1. We never ask for an exclusive. This means that any writer who sends us a full manuscript is free to shop that manuscript to other agents. All we ever ask for is the courtesy of knowing if another agent has expressed interest and if the writer has signed elsewhere (so we don’t read a manuscript that is already off the table).

2. We always write a letter of explanation as to why we are passing when we request and read a full manuscript.

Now it’s not a detailed editorial letter or anything like that but we do explain (hopefully in some detail) why we are passing. Often times we even mention that we are open to seeing a revision.

So I always try and do my best to read within 2 months of a request (as stated on the website) but despite my best effort, it doesn’t always happen. The good news is that no writer is obligated to wait on me.

Which, sigh, is often the best that I can do.

With Regret

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Heading home to work on client editing actually. One of those long days. I have two contracts to tackle tomorrow…

What’s playing on the iPod right now? GROOVE IS IN THE HEART by Deee-lite

Ugh! Today I passed on a full manuscript that I’ve had since June. Now it didn’t take me five months to read it and figure out that I needed to say NO. I actually started reading it about 4 weeks after we received it. It took me five months to figure out if there was any way that I could say YES.

What do I mean? I mean that I literally couldn’t decide. I went back and forth and back and forth. My assistant Sara was fully behind the novel and really advocated for it.

What was I hung up on? Several things actually. I personally had a love/hate relationship with the writing. While I was reading, I often had moments where I thought the prose was brilliant and dang it all, manuscripts like this deserve to be in print.

Then I would read a chapter and think, “what the heck is going on here?” I’d have to reread, re-orient myself in the narrative, and then move forward. Trust me, I asked myself numerous times if an edit could fix this.

I think an edit could but it’s going to need to be an intense, in-depth edit. The key question is do I have the time to devote to what I think is a worthy manuscript? Well, I think I could have made the time but ultimately, I started thinking of my submission list and as I went down it, I could just hear the editor responses.

“I personally loved it but couldn’t get support in house.”

“This was inventive but I didn’t see readers feeling emotionally connected to the story (because it’s literary and not commercial fiction but sometimes there’s no arguing that…)

and

“I hated this.” (Let’s just say the novel had a very complicated narrator and a very complex narrative style and editors will either love it or hate it. There will be no in-between).

Ultimately, I don’t think I could sell it and it was with a lot of regret that I passed. I have a feeling this will be a manuscript that stays with me and that I’ll think about it. I hope another agent can see what I couldn’t.

Can A Manuscript Jump The Shark?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: One of my goals for this travel week was to get caught up on the fulls we have requested. The week is drawing to an end. I’d better hop to it!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? SOS by Rihanna

You know I almost never respond to questions in the comment section but one astute reader asked a question that really got me thinking. Have I ever asked for a full manuscript, started to fall in love, and then had the manuscript jump the shark halfway or three quarters of the way through the full?

The answer is yes. In fact, that should be in capital letters– YES. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it can be a huge sad moment.

It’s one reason why agents always read until the end—even if they are sure they love the voice, the plot, and what have you. There really is such a thing as a manuscript suddenly taking a sharp left turn and leaving the agent stunned and confused.

What’s interesting though is this. I don’t keep a running track record but I do know of a few authors whose first projects I read, really liked, had this happened so I ultimately passed on that novel who then went on to get agented (and sold) with a later manuscript. Sometimes it’s just that last little kernel of knowledge that the author needed to learn about plotting before having it all click on a more mature manuscript.

In fact, one of the authors I have right now is a writer I passed on originally for her first manuscript (not exactly for this reason but for something close). I then took her on for her second novel and sold it at auction.

So when I see it, I always tell the writer that the manuscript diverged too suddenly for me (and why) but we see talent here and would be open to seeing future stuff.

Sometimes they take us up on it. Sometimes they end up represented by an agent friend (which is how I ended up knowing about it). Otherwise I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t remember as I don’t keep track.

What Agents Hate

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: A quiet day because it’s Rosh Hashanah.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? LONG HOT SUMMER by Style Council

I had completely forgotten about this interview that I did for Writer’s Digest ages ago. Chuck Sambuchino had asked a bunch of agents about stuff we hated in queries and sample pages. I whipped something off in an email and sent it right out to him.

I hadn’t thought of it since until today. An agent friend, who thought my blurb was hilarious, quoted me back to myself. Now I’m laughing too because my quote is so true; I do hate this. And I had completely forgotten about it.

If you’re dying of curiosity by now, here it is from yours truly.

“In romance, I can’t stand this scenario: A woman is awakened to find a strange man in her bedroom—and then automatically finds him attractive. I’m sorry, but if I awoke to a strange man in my bedroom, I’d be reaching for a weapon—not admiring the view.”
—Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary Agency

And here is the link back to the WD site on what other agents hate.

Still chuckling…

Don’t Mistake Voice For Character Development

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: It was a nice quiet day. Only something like 25 emails versus my usual 60 to 80 on any given work day. Gosh I love half-day Fridays in publishing!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? COME MONDAY by Jimmy Buffett

I’ve been reading sample pages again this week (a desperate bid to catch up before I go out of town all next week for RWA in San Fran).

And here’s another “problem” that has me thinking this week. I see a lot of young adult sample pages and one thing I’d like to highlight is that writers should not mistake voice for character development in their manuscripts.

In other words, I’m seeing a lot of sample pages with fun, light (dare I say—chick litty) kinds of voices where the main characters will use a lot of OMG or “hello? How could they not know” type of phrases as a way capturing girl teen speak.

Now I understand why writers are using this. It’s a fun, more light tone to convey the lighter nature of the novel but that alone does not define your main protagonist. In other words, that’s only ONE facet of character development. That alone will not be enough and that’s why I’m passing on a lot of sample pages as of late—pages with good concepts but an over-reliance on this voice technique and almost no other character development outside of the voice.

I need to see more original character development so the young teen protagonist strikes me as a unique individual (worthy of a story) and not a conglomeration of how teen girls talk.

It’s Friday and I’ll just throw it out there. Let me know if it makes sense. Have a good weekend.

Nip That Rumor In The Bud

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’m totally laughing.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? A WHITER SHADE OF PALE by Annie Lennox

Sometimes I just can’t help but want to know how a rumor gets started. I’m particularly delighted with the one that I had passed on Stephenie Meyer’s TWILIGHT (titled as something else? FORKS?) when it was in query form or on submission.

Folks, TWILIGHT was sold by an agent friend of mine back in December of 2003—long before I started representing anything in the children or young adult world as that didn’t happen until early of 2005.

There wouldn’t have been any reason for Ms. Meyer to send me a query (and we certainly didn’t see sample pages) of this project as I didn’t represent young adult at the time.

That would also have been pretty darn early in my career (as I opened my own agency doors in August 2002). I had just sold my first project as my own agent in February of 2003, so I can’t imagine I was on too many radars back in those early days.

(Which I remember so fondly as we only received 10 to 15 email queries a day rather than the 80 to 100 we get now…).

I’m absolutely tickled by this rumor, and only Ms. Meyer could say for sure whether my agency was on her agent list or not, but sorry, from the knowledge I have, it’s not true.

Do Agents Feel Regret?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Man, I totally rocked on my TO DO list today. I have one more task that I must finish before leaving the office so I’m off to do that right now.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? MY HEART WILL GO ON by Celine Dion

Today I passed on material from an author who already had several offers of representation on the table from other agents.

Is this hard for an agent to do? Yes and no and here’s the process I went through.

1. I knew that the author already had several offers of representation so I read quickly and paid extra attention to what I was reading.

2. The topic was hot and I did think that the project would sell (and probably quickly) so with that in mind, I reread the material.

3. My thoughts didn’t change. I liked the premise and the concept but I wasn’t in love with the story.

4. Did I think that I could work with the author on it? Yes. But the question isn’t whether I could work with the author on it, the question is should I? If other agents love it enough to take it on right now, then maybe that’s the clear signal that I’m not the right agent for this project.

5. When this project sells (and potentially for big money because hey, the topic was hot enough and I could see this happening), would I regret passing on it?

Ah, now that’s the question I don’t think I have an answer to.

Won’t know how I feel until it happens, right?

But I can make this remark. Last year I passed on a project that landed on the NYT list for a short duration. Did I then regret having passed? Well, I picked up the book and gave the first 50 pages of the published version a read—after all, a lot can happen in editing etc.

After rereading, it still wasn’t my cup of tea but I certainly wished the author well. Obviously this person found the right champion for the book.

Now if anything I passed on attained JK Rowling status, well then, what I can I say? I’d probably kick myself. Who wouldn’t?

I pray every day that doesn’t happen (and my apologies to the authors I passed on because obviously you’d love to attain that kind of hallowed performance!)

Beginning Writer Mistake (Take 4)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF! Really, what more is there to say?

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WHEN YOU COME by Crowded House

Let’s round off this week by focusing on one more mistake Sara and I have been seeing lately. We call it the opening-chapter-back-story-info-dump.

That pretty much sums it up.

But if you want more details, this is when writers feel like they can’t begin their story until the readers know and understand the back story, or the history of the character who opens the novel, or how the world works (if this is SF or fantasy). So, the opening chapter usually has nothing to do with the direction of the rest of the novel but the writer hasn’t mastered the ability to integrate it seamlessly as the real-time story unfolds.

The writing is almost always explanation (telling instead of showing) with very little dialogue, scene action, or character development.

Auto NO response every time.

This is often why prologues don’t work.

And don’t be fooled, the chapter back story info dump is sometimes disguised by coming in chapter 2 or chapter 3 but can be characterized by many pages where the above telling versus showing happens at the expense of dialogue, plot, character, or scenes to move the story forward.

So don’t just breathe a sigh of relief if you’ve checked your opening chapters and it’s not there. The large info dump chunk can sneak in later. If the chunk comes later and the rest of the novel is decent until then, we agents will allow some wiggle room because that issue can be easily edited if it’s just a one time snafu. I find that if this problem exists though, many of the other beginning writer mistakes are present as well.

Have a happy editing weekend!

Titles: Another Writer Mistake?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I’ve got a lot of phone calls to do to start my day.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER by Simon & Garfunkel

This one is certainly a lesser evil and in comparison to some of the other writer mistakes we’ve talked about this week, low on the totem pole. But I do think it’s worth mentioning although I’m pretty sure I’ve already discussed this at least once on my blog.

The overdone title.

A couple of thoughts to keep in mind:

1. Sometimes simple works—and works really well. (TWILIGHT for example). Don’t make a title more complicated then you need.

My client Jenny O’Connell has a great example of this with her two current back-to-back releases from MTV/Pocket Books: LOCAL GIRLS and RICH BOYS.

My sense is that you can probably figure out the direction of the story just from the titles. The first book, Local Girls, is about two teens who have grown up on island of Martha’s Vineyard. They are the local girls until one teen’s mother gets remarried to a rich tourist and takes the family from the island to Boston. The story takes place the next summer where the once local girl has returned as a tourist and will the friendship survive?

Rich Boys is, yep, you got it. A local girl hired to babysit a wealthy summer family’s little girl becomes entangled with the wealthy family’s older son who, after a disastrous first year of college, is bent on wreaking havoc.

Simple but grabby.

2. Avoid the pithy title with the long, rambling subtitle. I cannot tell you how often I see this. The title can be something like (and I’m making this up off the top of my head), The Survivor Chronicles (which could be a rather cool title if you think about it!). And then the author ruins it with the lengthy subtitle such as (and yes, this is an exaggeration)—a memoir about a young abused woman coming of age, discovering her bi-polarism, embracing her sexuality and finally triumphing against all odds.

Heck, I don’t need to read the book anymore…And yes, unfortunately, I do recognize that the professionals in the publishing industry are often guilty of this but as writers, there is no need for you to fall into this trap.

3. In general, avoid titles that might be hard to pronounce or difficult to spell.

4. To Be a Long Title or Not to Be a Long title? That is the question. And the answer is that it depends.

AND THEN WE CAME TO THE END works because as readers, we totally get it and the longer title is memorable.

Same with I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU. We’ve all used a similar phrase often so the longer title works.

But then you have the power of the short title such as Brooke Taylor’s UNDONE.

This title can be read in so many ways. It leaves a question in the reader’s mind. What is undone? Does it mean incomplete? Or, to come undone? In this case, it’s the first question. What is left undone is the 5 wishes of a teen girl who dies and her best friend, Serena, decides to complete the list and in doing so, discovers who she really is.


The short title can be evocative.

And speaking of short titles and writer mistakes, you might want to check out this soon-to-be released slim volume called HOW FICTION WORKS by James Wood. Funny, he’s tackling all the issues that I’ve just talked about on this blog. Powerful stuff.

Beginning Writer Mistakes (Take 3)

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: When I do my blog early in the day, I feel like I’ve actually accomplished something! Time to channel this energy into all my other tasks for the day.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT I WANT by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta

I’m still thinking of those sample pages from last night and it totally reminded me of another writer mistake which didn’t become crystal clear until this morning. Definitely another pitfall to avoid.

Okay, the writer writes a solid, action-oriented scene where the characters involved make crucial discoveries that move the story forward. Another plot piece snaps into place for the reader. This is great. This is exactly what a good writer should be doing. This scene works.

Then in the next scene, characters arrive that weren’t in the previous scene and now the writer feels like it’s necessary to recap the previous scene in dialogue for the newly arrived characters.

Sometimes this is necessary but when it happens repeatedly in the story, it’s just bad writing. Not to mention, it’s going to feel repetitive as the reader already knows the information.

As for dialogue revealing back story, sure that’s a good tool but yet another writing element that should not be overused.

Here’s another thing to be on the look out for. Do your characters just sit around having conversations rather than actively doing something in a scene? This one can be hard to spot as the dialogue can be really good, crucial even, but if readers start paying attention, they’ll realize that nothing BUT dialogue and conversations are happening in the novel.

You don’t want that either! Trust me, I’ve seen this. As an agent, it might take me 80 pages to catch on but eventually I will and I’ll pass on the manuscript.