Pub Rants

Category: Publishing Industry General

I’d Like A Margarita With That

Status: Mildly optimistic! I’ve accomplished more than I thought I would today, and I have the whole weekend to get caught up on my reading. I should be feeling jubilant come Monday.

What song is playing on the ipod right now? HANG ON TO YOUR LOVE by Sade

Last night I gave a talk at the Denver Press Club for the Mystery Writers Western Chapter.

This always makes me laugh because I don’t rep mysteries, but they like to invite me anyway. And it’s too bad. Great bunch of folks. It does make me wish I did but to be honest, if a thriller or mystery is done well, I can’t sleep for days after reading it. I’ve got enough stuff on my plate that keeps me awake at night.

They asked some great questions but one stuck out in my mind. One person asked me about entering and winning contests and how important a factor does that play in my being interested in a manuscript.

I think I can sum it up with one simple sentence: I take contest winnings with a large grain of salt.

They’re fine but in the words of Shania Twain, “that don’t impress me much.”

Why?

Because I judge contests. I enjoy it, and you just never know when you might be getting a first shot at something good.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen as often as I would like.

So far, I’ve only judged one contest where I have asked for the full manuscript for the entry that won first place. This contest was an extra anomaly because I almost asked for fulls for second and third place as well. They were all so good. It was tough to choose the winner.

And then I’ve judged contests where the final entries were not in publishable shape—at least in my humble opinion. It made me wonder what all the other entries looked like if these were the top three picks! Then I have to pick a “winner” and I end up picking the best of the worst—so to speak.

Thank goodness this doesn’t happen too often. Besides, as you guys know, I’m ever the optimist. Good treasure can be anywhere.

So a contest win may not necessarily mean that the manuscript is ready for publication. That’s why I take contest-win mentions with a grain of salt (and preferably a margarita if one is available).

Then there is the whole other trap writers can fall into. Some writers do what we call “the contest circuit.” They’ve done an amazing job polishing the synopsis and the first three chapters, which is what most contests require. They place in contests, but what they’ve neglected to do is finish the novel to that same level of polish etc.

I’ve requested fulls from writers that had terrific opening chapters. I’m humming along, really enjoying it, and then suddenly the novel goes south in a hurry. It’s like the writer was kidnapped by aliens, and I’m left sitting there going “what the hey! What just happened?”

Contests aren’t a bad way to get noticed but don’t be seduced by their lure either. Finish that novel. Make it polished, and don’t be afraid to go after the bigger prize—seeing that novel in print.

Tag! Jenny Bent is it!

Status: Feeling guilty. I only have 70 pages of my client’s manuscript and did I finish that yesterday? No. Too many fires erupted that needed attention. Unfortunately, that’s sometimes standard operating procedure. I do plan to finish up today. Looking good because there were no fires sitting in my email inbox when I checked in this morning. A first for this week. Yea!

What am I listening to right now? IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE by Tonic

Two days ago, Jenny Bent got tagged and she decided to come out and play. She doesn’t have a blog of her own but I was happy for her to guest on mine.

Here are the MEME answers from Jenny Bent of the Trident Media Group. Enjoy.

1. First thing you did when you woke up today?
Turned my alarm clock toward the wall, really loudly, to hopefully annoy my obnoxious neighbor who wakes me up EVERY NIGHT from the hours of one to four AM banging and crashing around with his idiot friends. Then I made coffee.

2. Last book you read for pleasure or are currently reading for pleasure?
The Historian.

3. Something you’re excited about in your job today?
Hopefully I’ll get an offer for a book I have out that’s getting a lot of buzz. Also, if all goes well, we will FINALLY be hiring a new assistant, and I’m incredibly excited about that, because having no assistant has frankly kicked my ass for the last couple of weeks. I was an assistant for about four years, and I’ve been an agent for eleven, and I think that you become progressively stupider about basic office skills the longer you’re away from it. I can barely use the copier!

4. Something you’re dreading?
A conference call with a publisher that is NOT treating my client well.

5. The worst conversation you ever had with an editor?
It was actually an e-mail. When I moved an author from one house to another. I have to say, I was shocked. I haven’t submitted to that particular imprint since. I mean, this is a business, folks, and publishers drop authors all the time. But when I DARE to move an author because she wants to move and I agree it’s better for her career, I get completely slammed in the most personal of ways? I don’t think so, my friends!

6. The happiest conversation you ever had with an editor?
Every time I do a first sale for an author whose been struggling for years to get published. That is my ABSOLUTE favorite part of the job.

7. A habit you’d like to quit?
SMOKING. Does that count?

8. A habit you’d like to acquire?
exercising. God, I lead a sad life….

9. Greatest strength as an agent?
Tenacity. Definitely tenacity.

10. Greatest weakness?
Hmmmm…um, I think my boss would say that I call in sick too much. Hey, what can I say? I smoke and I don’t exercise. What does he expect? Of course I get sick!

11. Favorite book of the past year?
Well, I don’t know if it came out this year or last, but Larry McMurty’s Berrybender series, I LOVED.

12. If you weren’t agenting you might be…
No clue. I can’t think of a better job. It wouldn’t be editing, that’s for sure.

13. You tag??
KIM WHALEN, Trident Media Group. She’s in London at the book fair, but I think she’s back next week. Is it okay to tag someone from my agency?

We Don’t Represent Screenplays

Status: Crazy! Did I finish the manuscript last night? Nope. I stayed up late but my eyes were cross-eyed after 11 p.m. I have another 50 pages I plan to finish this morning, write up my comments, and shoot to my author. Then I only have two more client fulls and a partial in the queue!

Agent Janet Reid got her tag and has come out to play. Be sure to check out her answers on her blog, which she does have (news to me but very fun nonetheless).

Lately, I’ve had to send a lot of query reply emails that say, “Thank you very much for your query, but the Nelson Agency does not represent screenplays.”

That’s clearly listed on my website so I’m not certain why all the screenplay queries. Then it occurred to me that writers just don’t get that whole book-to-film thing.

To be clear, I don’t represent screenplays, screenwriters, or anything to do with Hollywood. I’m a literary agent. I represent authors, and I sell the print rights to their books—mainly to the big New York Publishers.

However, after I sell a book, then I pursue subsidiary rights for the print property. That means selling translation rights (if the publisher doesn’t have World rights), audio (if that wasn’t part of the deal), etc., and I always keep dramatic or tv/film rights because I have strong partnerships with Hollywood co-agents to place those rights.

There is no screenplay or screenwriter involved. All that is being done is selling the dramatic subsidiary rights to the already sold print project. Book to Film.

It’s up to the studio (or the producer) to “package” the project by hiring the director, the screenwriter (unless the author has a history of screenwriting, most studios prefer to hire their own talent here), the producer and all other components to make it possible for the project to move beyond the option, be purchased, and made into a film.

Now often times the studios will call or email me directly about a BOOK I just recently sold, but I don’t really “know” them. I wouldn’t have the faintest idea of where or to whom to send a screenplay.

And, please don’t query me about a book you’ve sold yourself and now want someone to handle just the dramatic rights. I only handle the subsidiary rights for my clients’ projects– projects for which I have sold the primary print rights to a US publisher.

You know I’ve ranted about Hollywood before. It’s such a long shot period that I don’t have time to take on projects just to sell the dramatic rights since any sale to Hollywood, even for my own clients, is unlikely. There wouldn’t be much return on my time investment to take on non-clients for this. Nor would I want to. I’m a literary agent—not a film agent.

Rant done. Maybe that’ll help reduce the number of those queries. Do you think? Nah, I don’t believe it either. Worth a shot though.

Tag! I’m it.

Status: I read one client’s full manuscript last night (stayed up late to do it). Then I had to send a huge abject letter of apology to another client because I’m only halfway through her novel and gasp, I’ve had the darn thing for a month. That sounds bad but this novel is already sold and she delivered super early—her deadline to her editor isn’t until November. So, even though I was reading avidly, I had to interrupt with the other manuscripts that had deadlines in the next 2 weeks. It’s a poor excuse I know. I plan to stay up late tonight and finish it!

Today is a positive rant.

I want everyone in the blogosphere to know that Deidre Knight is my hero.

She just rocks as a person, as an agent (her dedication to educating writers puts even me to shame), and now as a new author (if you love paranormal romance, check out PARALLEL ATTRACTION). She was one of the first agents I “met” (in quotes because originally we had only ever talked on the phone) and when I started at my own agency in 2002, she was a great cheerleader and mentor. Still is. I stay sane on the tough days because of Deidre, my gal pal.

So she tagged me this morning and it’s a call I can’t ignore.

1. First thing you did when you woke up today?
I snuggled up next to my husband, basically mashing Chutney in the process, because I had set the alarm for 5:58 a.m. to get up and work out. Brian pushed me out of bed at 6:15 and yes, I did the elliptical trainer in my building’s gym.

Upon my return, even before I showered (because New York is two hours ahead of Denver), I emailed an editor who I’m in the middle of negotiating a deal with. We are almost there. One more outstanding issue and we can close this deal.

2. Last book you read for pleasure or are currently reading for pleasure?
DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY by Erik Larson. It was my book club book. I was reading MARLY & ME by John Grogan before that (I’m a sucker for dog stuff). I just read and loved TRANSFORMATION by Carol Berg (run, don’t walk to your nearest bookstore or computer to buy that great book!) I just finished book 2 of George RR Martin’s SONG OF ICE AND FIRE. Loving that series. I need to get book 3.

On my nightstand is Susan Carroll’s THE DARK QUEEN. I only just started it so not far enough along to make judgment.

Truly, can anyone who loves books just cite one title?

3. Something you’re excited about in your job today?
Finally closing this deal. Finishing my client’s manuscript so I can ditch my guilt.

4. Something you’re dreading?
Reviewing just-received royalty statements for accuracy. Not my favorite thing but has to be done.

5. The worst conversation you ever had with an editor?
In 2003, I did a negotiation with an editor who I had heard could be a little unpredictable. I was still taken aback when she started yelling at me during the negotiation. I literally had to hold the phone away from my ear. Eventually I said that we couldn’t discuss this now; I would call her back later and hung up.

The deal happened, and it was fine. I have not sent anything else to that editor.

6. The happiest conversation you ever had with an editor?
There are so many. How to pick just one? Okay, here’s a story. There is an editor who just recently bought one of my authors so finally we have a book together but for four years, she promptly read every submission I sent her, gave excellent and detailed feedback on why she was passing, was always open to seeing future stuff from that author or from me, and was generally just a joy as a human being—in person and during every phone conversation.

In the early days of my agenting genre fiction (especially since we didn’t handle that at my old agency and I had to create all these new contacts), it was such a pleasure to be respected and taken seriously.

7. A habit you’d like to quit?
Ignoring my query email inbox until the number waiting for a response is astronomically high.

8. A habit you’d like to acquire?
Reading faster, faster, faster. Also learning how to delegate more.

9. Greatest strength as an agent?
Nicely tough.

10. Greatest weakness?
Over-analyzing. Manuscripts, recent deals, you name it. I tend to analyze things to death when just regular analysis will do.

11. Favorite book of the past year?
GILEAD by Marilynne Robinson

12. If you weren’t agenting you might be…
retired and eating bon-bons.

13. You tag??
Nadia Cornier (because I know she blogs), Jenny Bent, Jeff Kleinman, Janet Reid, Roberta Brown (none of which have blogs (that I know of) but can guest on mine if they get the tag)

The Pseudonym Out

Status: Happily working—but it’s still early in the day.

On my lunch break, I often surf the various blogs I enjoy and a variety of writers discussion forums. I like to see what’s going on, what’s bothering folks. There seems to be a lot of angst swirling around agents who are also authors.

Seemed like a good rant topic to me.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m an agent but not an author, and to really get the ball rolling, it doesn’t bother me one iota if an agent is also an author.

Why? Because it really doesn’t impact a good agent’s ability to do her job (emphasis on the word “good”). It also doesn’t impact an agent’s ability to sell her clients.

I think there is a misperception that an agent/author is in direct competition with her clients of the same genre—but that’s not how publishing works. If it were, it would also be true that if I have one contemporary romance client, she would be in competition for the empty “slots” with all my other contemporary romance clients– that I have already or will sign in the future.

That’s not how it works—the idea that there are only a finite number of slots and once filled, game over. It’s too simplistic.

I could rant on but I think Deidre Knight (an agent/author) has some very valid points to make on the subject and there’s no need for me to repeat them here. To be fair, Miss Snark has also expressed an opposite opinion regarding this topic, on which I don’t happen to agree.

What impresses me most is when the agent/authors are completely upfront and frank about their dual role. It would be so easy to do the “pseudonym out” without anyone being the wiser. There is a level of integrity exhibited with full disclosure and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a characteristic of a good agent worth having.

(This is not to suggest that any agent/authors using pseudonyms are lacking in integrity because I can see not wanting to deal with all the hassle and the misperceptions that swirl around this topic. One could pose the argument that it’s nobody’s business but her own as long as she continues to do her agent job and do it well).

Besides, just because your agent isn’t writing now doesn’t mean she never will. And maybe your editor is already writing and publishing in your genre with another house because lots of working editors are also authors.

After all, agents and editors got into the biz because they love books. It’s not that far a leap from love of, to editing, to writing one and it seems silly to deny them that dream because of their day job.

Working for the Weekend


Status: One hour and half before the official start of the weekend. How could I not be happy?

I’m not sure why I’m getting excited about this. I always end up working on weekends. I honestly believe that my clients conspire about when they plan to deliver their next manuscripts.

In the last two weeks, I’ve received 6 manuscripts from my clients. Now I’m frantically reading during the evening because I don’t want anybody to have to wait too long for my comments or a response.

So this is a typical Kristin position on weekends–ensconced on the living room couch with my tablet PC and the wonder dog Chutney—who always helps to read the manuscripts.

Have a great weekend!

Rejection

Status: Tired but elated. In the last two months, I’ve sold 8 books. Today I started negotiations on book 9. As a new agency, it was typical for me to sell 10-15 books in a year (as my client list slowly grew) so this pace in two months means I’ve hit the turning point. Dang. It probably means I can no longer consider myself “new.” I think this means I’m “established.”

But the flip side to sales is, of course, rejection.

I hate publishing house rejections. Probably I don’t feel it as keenly as my authors do (because it’s really their blood, sweat, and tears) but I feel it.

Today I felt like banging my head on my desk several times.

I have an up-market commercial women’s fiction currently out on submission. The editor letter I received today raved about the work. She loved it. It was beautifully written. She recited her favorite scenes from the work.

She passed with enormous regret (her words—not mine).

Do you know how difficult it sometimes is to find the exact right editor who gets it? It feels like a million to one shot on some days. Here’s an editor who got it. Totally loved what I loved about the novel.

So why the pass? The work wasn’t commercial enough for her house.

Kristin bangs head on desk.

But that wasn’t the only rejection letter today. My other also raved about another work I have out on submission. Both reading editors loved it. However, their line recently had a shift in focus and is now only concentrating on works written by celebrities.

Kristin bangs head on desk.

The author wrote me after I forwarded her the note. She said it would be a hell of a lot easier if they just told her she sucked as a writer. All this love, and no offer, was terrible.

I don’t agree with her there. They are at least recognizing her talent but I certainly understand the frustration.

I take it personally. I want to sell everything I take on (because to be honest, I don’t really take on that much in a year—3 or 4 new clients on average—so it needs to sell and for good money).

100% sell-through is not humanely possible but darn if I don’t try and get close; each rejection feels like a little poke at my goal—not to mention my reputation. That’s how I feel it.

Ode to Youth

Status: Working like crazy on contracts, contracts, and more contracts, which are very time-consuming. It’s great to sell lots of projects. The downside (and it’s not really a downside as you can probably tell) is all the time that now needs to be invested into those contracts.

It has consumed my days as of late.

I still wanted to donate a few minutes to dedicate this blog to our young writers out there. When I use the term “young” here, I mean those writers under the age of 20. This is not to imply that if you are under the age of 50, I don’t consider you young. Trust me, I do.

As a side note (completely off-topic), I’d also like to suggest that in queries, you shouldn’t make assumptions regarding an agent’s age. It probably won’t reflect well on either of us. I got a good chuckle from a recent query where the writer had declared that she could still relate to my blog despite probably being twice my age.

I raised an eyebrow at that. Of course I have no idea the writer’s age as she didn’t state it, but it didn’t read like a lady just about to have her 80th birthday. There is just a difference in writing style from folks who received their education in the 1930s and 40s. There is an element of elegant formality that was missing in this query.

I could be completely wrong (certainly wouldn’t be the first time!). I am, however, quite flattered that she might assume I’m still in my twenties—and therefore making the author of that query more likely to be a baby boomer in her 50s or 60s.

But an agent’s age doesn’t really matter. Reputation and track record does.

But back to young writers.

Some advice I’d like to give.

Your age doesn’t really matter to me. Just your writing ability. If you’re under 18, no need to declare so in your query letter. It’s unprofessional for one. Two, it’s irrelevant. I won’t think you a prodigy or lend you an extra dose of sympathy or be more lenient and request a partial. It won’t do any of those things. I still want a well-written, professional query that shows me you’ve done your research about this business and you’re ready to be serious and be taken seriously.

That will impress me. And if later I discover you are 15, my jaw will hit the floor at how mature you are. That I didn’t guess that you were so young. I’ll be very impressed then.

Now, if I call to offer representation, then you need to tell me you are under the age of 18 because your parent or guardian will now have to be involved in any discussions since you are a minor.

Trust me, age does not come up in any other queries. Occasionally I will receive one where the author will highlight the other end of the age spectrum but my answer remains the same. I don’t need or care to know. It won’t make me any more or less interested in your query. A well-written query with an original story idea. That’s what excites me—and the author can be of any age.

I’ve never asked any of my clients their age before signing them. Not once.

The Power of Names

Status: Kristin has read and responded to all email queries through Feb. 6, 2006. If you haven’t received a response, it’s not because one wasn’t sent.

Reminder: I don’t resend if it bounces back to me. I don’t keep track of changes in email addresses if you have changed yours, and I don’t play with spam blocking programs that ask me to log in and verify that the email I just sent isn’t spam. And that goes for requested pages as well.

You can always resend the query if you’re living in doubt.

My reader comes in on Mondays so I’ve always got a lot to say on Tuesday morning.

I’m noticing some interesting trends in character names that I thought I would share.

In the world of the Paranormal, there have been a lot of RHIANNONs lately. I can’t help but think of Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing just a very contemporary association.

If your character is a witch, it’s okay to get a little creative with your names. Get me interested in the story by virtue of a really cool name. If I get another Rhiannon witch, I think I’ll have to pass on principle.

Contemporary stories. There have been a lot of KATEs and KATIEs as of late. Once again, nothing wrong with that name but it might be a little harder for your heroine to stand out when I’m reading my pile.

Historical/Regency romances. Time to avoid any derivative of Devil for your rakish hero. I’ve seen it all. Devlin etc.

I’m sure other names will come up and I’ll keep you posted.

Now, creating interesting, varied, or cool character names won’t necessarily open the door. Only good writing will do that. It’s just another facet of the whole package that you need to keep in mind because trust me, it’s on our mind if Angie and I have done 50 partials during the day and have had at least 5 or 6 manuscripts with the name Kate or Katie as the heroine and at least one Rhiannon (and that’s the third one this week).

You want your story to stand out. Character names can help.

Flip side of the coin. Don’t go too bizarre. I see that in SF and Fantasy partials occasionally. Names should be pronounceable at least.

Following Directions

This rant came on yesterday.

It clearly states on my website (and in every listing imaginable where my agency might be featured) that I only take queries by email.

I just don’t want to open up a letter and deal with the recycling. Not to mention the cost of printing out my standard rejection letter in terms of paper and ink. And then envelopes have to be stuffed and mailed.

Gee, I’m getting cranky just writing this.

Invariably, there are quite a few people who can’t seem to follow this simple direction. Queries by email only.

Once every couple of months, when the stack gets too high, I sit down and open them all up and give them a cursory glance. For the most part, if you can’t follow directions, I’m really not all that interested in signing you as a possible client so it will have to be an AMAZING query letter for me to not to send the reject letter. Doesn’t happen often.

But I’m so dang nice, I can’t quite bring myself to just pitch them. I usually have my assistant handle them (and I don’t even look at them) but she’s been busy reading the partials inbox.

So last night I tackled them.

It was also my turn to host book club. If you’re curious, the book we discussed was THE DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY by Erik Larson. Our next book will be THE KNOWN WORLD by Edward P. Jones.

The gals came over about 5 p.m. but arrived early. There I am, sprawled on the floor of my living room with paper queries all around me.

Immediately they sprang into action (gosh I love these gals). One friend opened the letters, one folded the response letters, and the last friend stuffed the envelopes and got them ready to mail.

What did I do? Well, I read the query letters aloud so I could share it with them.

And then it hit me why I should share this story with you guys on my blog. Have you run your query letter through the read aloud test?

Let me tell you. It was quite revealing. Some of the queries had my book club members in tears laughing—and it wasn’t because it was a query for a humor project or a comic novel.

Some of the letters were just that poorly written or they had really outrageous storylines that became extremely apparent when read aloud.

My book club was so entertained (and probably not in the way you, as writers, would prefer); they offered to come over one night in the future just to do the queries with me.

Moral of the story?

If you follow directions and just query by email, guess who reads them? Me. And I may chortle at a few of them but I rarely read them aloud to others for their listening pleasure.