Pub Rants

Category: Agent Kristin

Friday Funnies

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I let the mail pile up all week so I’m finally going through all stuff that didn’t need immediate attention.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? CAUGHT UP IN THE RAPTURE by Anita Baker

I was on my laptop last night and found this picture that Simone Elkeles sent me. I just laughed and laughed. Only in New York!

She snapped this shot from the back of a cab where she was riding to the marketing meeting we were having with the Walker team for PERFECT CHEMISTRY.

I definitely think pink is his color. TGIF! I’m out.

A Friday Funny Sort Of?

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF. I cleared some contracts off my desk by finishing them up. I always feel accomplished after that.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? MACK THE KNIFE by Bobby Darin

I got a hilarious email via our query inbox today, but I’m thinking the writer didn’t mean for it to be funny.

The writer asked if I thought revising a manuscript was worthwhile in this current fiction market. Was it worth the time and effort for the writer to pare down a 200,000 word manuscript into 100,000 word manuscript?

And the writer was not writing fantasy either (where at least a heart-stopping book length could reasonably be argued).

Now what exactly could an agent say to that? I’m really curious as to how this writer thinks we would reply (and we only reply to queries so we won’t be responding actually but for the sake of argument). What are we going to say? For you, no, definitely not worth the effort.

Sheesh. If you’re passionate and serious about writing, wouldn’t any revision be a worthwhile one? And I know you guys will come back with the idea that the writer was only trying to gauge market viability but that is a moving target of a question. The market is forever shifting. Not to mention, there wasn’t any description of the novel the writer wanted to revise.

I know, I know. It shouldn’t make me smile when the writer is only trying to figure this all out but I just couldn’t help it.

Editor Rant–Daniel Menaker

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF and I’m heading out of the office early to do a little reading.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? STORMY BLUES by Billie Holiday

Ah, I couldn’t get the Friday Funnies to work and since I’m heading out, I’ll just have to let Daniel Menaker rant in my place.

If you haven’t checked out his blog posting at the B&N blog, it’s really worth a look.

Warning—this article is not for the faint of heart.

It’s definitely the unvarnished inside perspective though….

Have a great weekend.

Florida Attorney General Sues Scammer

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Today was all about foreign contracts. It’s been stunning. We’ve done 38 deals so far this year in foreign territories. Wow.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? LEGS by ZZ Top

As I’ve been out of town, I haven’t been able to read my Publishers Lunch daily. This morning I was getting caught up on my emails and my industry reading when I came across this news item. I couldn’t help but crow in delight. Let another scammer bite the dust.

And be sure to spread the word and link to this so word gets out in the writing community (and especially to newbies) that they should never, never, never pay a fee to a literary agent.

Florida Attorney General Sues Writer’s Literary Agency and Robert Fletcher
The state’s crimes division “received more than 175 complaints from around the world claiming Fletcher and his associates, who claimed to act as literary agents and publishers, allegedly collected money from victims anxious to see their work published.” The lawsuit seeks injunctive relief as well as full restitution. (full article)

I was appalled to read that he was pulling in an estimated $600,000 a year for fleecing writers. Crime certainly does pay—until you get caught that is.

Friday Funnies

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Blogging before noon! It’s happy hour someplace, right? Grin.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? DID YE GET HEALED by Van Morrison

It’s no secret that I love reading on my Kindle but I still laughed at Green Apple Books Smackdown on Youtube—Book vs Kindle.

They’ve gone 8 rounds if you want to view them all.

But here’s the latest for Storytime. Enjoy!

Friday Funnies

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I hit the office early today. First up, a UK contract that needs to be reviewed

What’s playing on the iPod right now? ON THE TURNING AWAY by Pink Floyd

Just a heads up that I’m on vacation all of next week and therefore won’t be blogging. If I were smart, I’d do as agent Nathan does and have guest bloggers but I have to admit that I’m not organized enough this week to make that happen. So you’ll just have to live without for a week.

And to kick off the weekend, an excellent funny to share. It’s so juvenile but I laughed and laughed. Couldn’t resist sharing. I don’t know who thinks up these skits but this one is classic.

Enjoy!

The Proverbial Cat Out Of The Bag

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: TGIF! And I’m really ready for a relaxing weekend. No white-water rafting or extreme sports scheduled.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? WONDER by Natalie Merchant

When I was at RWA, three different people came up to me and said, “I think it’s absolutely amazing what Sara is doing.”

When I looked at them blankly, they said, “your associate agent, Sara Megibow. I think it’s amazing what she is doing.”

Aha, it finally clicked for me. I knew now what they were talking about but I couldn’t figure out how three totally different people at RWA knew.

It certainly wasn’t some deep dark secret that we were keeping hidden but nor had we made an announcement to the world either.

Except unbeknownst to me, we had. The Boulder Weekly newspaper ran an article on the amazing thing Sara is doing this year and my client Sherry Thomas saw the article and twittered about it.

So are you dying yet to know what it is that Sara is doing?

I won’t keep you in the dark. The cat is out of the proverbial bag anyway (especially if you follow Sherry’s tweets!).

So here at the Nelson Agency, we are definitely into make dreams come true. Sara just takes it to a whole other level to say the least and if you’ve met her, you’ll know that’s just how she rolls.

It’s amazing, every day, to have her as part of the agency.

The Boulder Weekly Article.

Beyond The Call Of Agent Duty—Part II

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: I think I need another weekend to recover from my weekend. Grin.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? ROUTE 66 by Natalie Cole

Really? Could I blog about anything else today? Enjoy!

So you can track us, I’m wearing a white visor and Simone has on a blue bandanna.

Watch the chick in front of Simone. She ends up falling into the boat. Better than the alternative I have to say.

Lesson of the day: tuck you feet securely while in the raft.

Also, we are going through two sets of the rapids. In the second set, look at the rock to the right of the picture.

My personal favorite is the shot where pretty much everyone in the boat disappears in the spray.



15 Out of 2,625 & Friday Funnies

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Tomorrow is a holiday so I won’t be blogging. Have a great 4th!

What’s playing on the iPod right now? HOUNDS OF LOVE by Kate Bush

Oops. Perhaps I should have clarified yesterday’s statistics because requesting 15 sample pages from 52 queries sounds pretty great.

That is until you hear the explanation. Be forewarned, the real statistics are daunting.

So yesterday I read 52 queries. That is true. However, these 52 queries were set aside for me to read out of three weeks’ worth of queries.

On average, the agency gets 100 to 150 email queries a day. So in the last 21 days, we received 2,625 queries (using an average of 125 queries a day). Out of those 2,625 queries, Julie and Sara set aside 52 queries for me to read and review.

Out of those 52 queries, I asked for sample pages from 15 writers. In reality, I just basically asked for 15 sample pages from 2,625 queries.

Now before you die of heart failure, that’s probably not wholly accurate either. I know Sara has also been requesting sample pages and I actually don’t know how many she has requested from queries over the last 3 weeks.

So I’m guessing the total is more like 30 or 40 requests for sample pages out of 2,625 queries.

Now you know why I’ve spent so much time teaching you folks how to write that silly query pitch blurb!

And because I can’t leave you in doom and gloom right before the holiday weekend, just remember that ‘re’ is a drop of golden sun…

This put a huge smile on my face. I hope it does the same for you!

More than 200 dancers performed their version of “Do Re Mi”, in the Central Railway Station of Antwerp. With just 2 rehearsals, it is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program where they are looking for someone to play the leading role in the musical of “The Sound of Music”.

R.I.P The King Of Pop

by Kristin Nelson

STATUS: Maybe I’m a little too attached to old pop culture but Farrah and Michael in the same day? I have to blog about it.

What’s playing on the iPod right now? BILLIE JEAN by Michael Jackson

What news. I feel like an essential part of my teen hood has just died. MTV. Thriller. King of Pop. It doesn’t feel like it was 27 years ago.

In Loving Memory…

Here’s the link to the original MTV video.

It’s worth a little nostalgia for the 1980s Michael